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Reddit user /u/trnsmscln's Detransition Story

female
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
got top surgery
body dysmorphia
retransition
puberty discomfort
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. The user's narrative is highly specific, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent, detailing a personal journey with detransition, top surgery, weight loss, PCOS, and ongoing struggles with presentation and social perception. The language is conversational, includes self-doubt, and expresses complex, sometimes contradictory feelings, which is not typical of bot behavior. There are no serious red flags suggesting this is not a real person or a genuine desister/detransitioner.

About me

I started transitioning because my breasts felt completely wrong on my body and were my main source of distress. I got top surgery, and it cured my dysphoria, but it also made me question my entire need to be a man. I realize now that my struggle came from puberty discomfort, and I wish I had known I could have just been a woman with a flat chest. I've stopped testosterone and am trying to find a way to express myself femininely without triggering my anxiety. My physical dysphoria was real, but the rest was a search for an identity I don't actually need.

My detransition story

My whole journey with gender has been confusing, and I'm still figuring it out. It all started because I was so deeply uncomfortable with having breasts. I hated them; they felt completely wrong on my body and were the main source of my distress. Because of that feeling, I believed I was a man and decided to transition. I started taking testosterone.

Looking back, I think a lot of my struggle came from puberty discomfort. Developing a female body felt traumatic. I also have PCOS, which affected my weight and made everything feel more complicated. I was never comfortable being a woman, but I don't think I ever truly felt like a man either. I just knew I didn't want the body I had.

I got top surgery, and that was the turning point for me. It cured my dysphoria completely. Almost immediately after the surgery, I started to question everything. I realized that all my dysphoria was coming from my breasts, and if I had gotten them removed first, I probably never would have gone on testosterone. It was just easier to get a prescription for hormones than it was to get surgery approved.

I’ve been on and off testosterone for about six months now. I initially kept doing the shots occasionally because it helped with my weight loss journey—I’ve lost 80 pounds, and I couldn't lose weight off T because of my PCOS. But I've stopped completely now as I figure myself out.

Now, I know I don't regret my transition because it led me to get top surgery, which I needed. But I do have regrets about how I went about it. I wish someone had told me plainly that it's impossible for a biological female to become a male. I think if I had heard that, I would have still pursued a flat chest, but I would have lived as a gender non-conforming woman from the start instead of trying to be a man. I moved through informed consent very quickly, and I feel that made me more likely to regret the medical steps I took, because I didn't give myself enough time to think.

My thoughts on gender now are that it's largely based on stereotypes. I don't think anyone can truly know what it's like to feel like the opposite sex. For me, I just want to be seen as a person, not as a man or a woman. I want to be androgynous. I'm uncomfortable being called a man, and being called a woman stresses me out too, though a little less. Men, in general, make me very uncomfortable.

Right now, I'm trying to find a way to feel more feminine in my expression without triggering my anxiety. I like shaving my head; it's something I enjoy about myself, even if it makes me look masculine. I want to wear more feminine clothing, but when I try, I feel like I just look like a man playing dress-up or an unattractive trans woman. It's a struggle. I'm trying to learn how to do my eyebrows in a more feminine way and might wear makeup, but I'm worried it will just make me look like a gay man. It's hard living where I do, in the mountains of West Virginia, because people assume I'm a gay man and are sometimes rude or homophobic towards me.

I don't know what my sexuality is. I know I'm not straight, but the labels are confusing. I just know I'm not attracted to men; they make me too uncomfortable.

My main takeaway is that my physical dysphoria was real and was solved by surgery. The rest of my transition was a search for an identity that I now realize I don't need. I just need to be me.

Age Event
(Age not specified) Started testosterone.
(Age not specified) Had top surgery. This completely cured my chest dysphoria and made me question my need for testosterone.
6 months ago (from Feb 2024) Began questioning my transition and started going on and off testosterone.
Present (Feb 2024) Have stopped testosterone completely. Identifying as an androgynous person and trying to find a feminine expression that feels right for me.

Top Comments by /u/trnsmscln:

10 comments • Posting since January 30, 2024
Reddit user trnsmscln (detrans female) explains her limitations with detransition advice, citing the expense of laser hair removal and her choice to keep her shaved head while committing to more feminine clothing and eyebrows.
16 pointsFeb 5, 2024
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Thank you for the advice. Most of this stuff I can’t do though. Like laser, it’s too expensive for me right now. I also am not willing to grow my hair back out. Shaving it is the the one thing I enjoy about myself regardless of if it makes me look like a man still. I will def learn how to do my eyebrows better and wearing feminine clothes though.

Reddit user trnsmscln (detrans female) comments on the regret of fast-tracked transitions, explaining that trans people base their identity on stereotypes and don't know what it's like to feel like the opposite sex.
10 pointsFeb 5, 2024
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You’re not wrong for admitting they will never be male, it’s the truth. Trans people base their entire lives around stereotypes created for men and women, they don’t actually know what it’s like to feel like the opposite sex.

With that being said, I also feel bad for them, especially those going through informed consent. They’re much more likely to regret medical transition because they were able to move so fast through each step without giving themselves time to think about what it means for their future.

Reddit user trnsmscln (Questioning own transgender status) discusses their desire to feel more feminine after 6 months off testosterone, explaining their preference for a shaved head and asking if makeup and nails would help or make them look like a gay man.
10 pointsFeb 5, 2024
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Yeah I’ve only been off t 6 months. I’d rather not grow my hair out as I really like shaving it all off atm and then wearing hats or just going bald. Idk why but it makes me feel good. I’m just looking to be more feminine overall and would do almost anything. I’ve been wondering if wearing makeup/having my nails done would help or if I’d just look like a gay man.

Reddit user trnsmscln (detrans female) explains that while she doesn't wish she was stopped from transitioning, she wishes she had been told it's impossible for a biological female to be a man, which would have led her to live as a GNC woman instead.
8 pointsFeb 5, 2024
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I don’t wish anyone would have stopped me transitioning but because I wouldn’t have gotten top surgery otherwise but I do wish more people would have told me it’s impossible for a biological female to be a man. I think had I heard this I would have still transitioned but not for as long and openly as a gnc woman instead of a man.

Reddit user trnsmscln (detrans female) discusses the struggle to find androgynous clothing that helps them feel less masculine, explaining that feminine clothes make them feel like "a man playing dress up."
7 pointsFeb 5, 2024
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I was more so meaning my clothes not my face. I know my face is still masculine and as much as I try there’s nothing I can do about it right now. I’m just trying to find clothing that brings me at least a little bit out of the male zone and into an androgynous zone. I don’t know what else to try because when I wear more feminine clothing I just look like a man playing dress up or an ugly trans woman.

Reddit user trnsmscln (Questioning own transgender status) discusses their anxiety about seeking professional eyebrow grooming due to past experiences with homophobia and being perceived as a gay man.
6 pointsFeb 5, 2024
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Thank you for being so nice omg 🥹🥹

I do wear earrings with my stretched ears but they’re hard to see in the pic. I have two studs in each ear above my tunnels and am thinking about getting more but not sure.

Also the eyebrows are a good tip. I currently do them myself but don’t know how to get them thinner. Hopefully I can get into see a professional or something to get them done nicely. I just worry about going in places like that bc they tend to think I’m a gay man and I’ve had some weird homophobia happen to me in the past and can’t imagine how they’d react if I said I was a woman.

Reddit user trnsmscln (Questioning own transgender status) comments on using testosterone for PCOS-related weight loss while questioning their transition, having lost 80lbs.
5 pointsFeb 4, 2024
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I’ve technically been on an off testosterone for like 6 months bc I started questioning if it was right for me but kept doing the shots every now and then to help my weight loss journey (I’ve lost 80lbs so far and couldn’t lose weight at all off t bc of pcos). It’s nice to know that if I don’t really try to look feminine nothing much will change. Thanks for your help (:

Reddit user trnsmscln (Questioning own transgender status) explains that top surgery cured their dysphoria, leading them to realize they are nonbinary and not FTM.
4 pointsJan 30, 2024
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Tbh I started feeling this way after I had top surgery. I think all my dysphoria was coming from having breasts and had I gotten them removed before testosterone I don’t think I’d ever have gone on it. It was just easier to get than top surgery. I don’t know why I’m uncomfortable being a woman I just am. I just want to be an androgynous person. I want to be seen as a person and not a just a man or a woman. If that makes sense. Idk I’m so new to this feeling I don’t know what I need or want anymore I just know my top surgery cured my dysphoria and it’s definitely all I needed.

Reddit user trnsmscln (Questioning own transgender status) comments on their discomfort with being perceived as a man or woman, preferring their facial stubble but not wanting to be misgendered.
4 pointsJan 30, 2024
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I mean lesbian isn’t a gender so I’m a lil confused by your question, sorry. Maybe I’m just dumb idk. Anyways I don’t think I want laser, I like my little stubble but when it gets too long I freak out lol. I don’t want to tip over into being called a woman because that would stress me out just as much as being called a man. Maybe a little less than being called a man. Men make me so uncomfortable it’s ridiculous.

Reddit user trnsmscln (detrans female) discusses the difficulty of getting feminine eyebrows as a detransitioned woman in a conservative area, where she is often mistaken for a gay man and faces rudeness.
3 pointsFeb 5, 2024
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I’m going to try to get them professionally done and then try to keep following that pattern on my own afterwards. It’s just hard going into places and asking for a feminine brow because people assume I’m a gay man and act weird towards me. (I’m from WV in the mountains and people are always rude)