Why don’t you tell your close friends that you’re questioning and having some doubts? If you’re embarrassed, you can tell them you’re embarrassed. this is how I approach feeling embarrassed and it cuts way down on my worries about what other people think about it. Embarrassment is a feeling everyone has. Pretending you’re feeling confident is for meetings and job interviews, not for friendships.

If you tell them you’re feeling confused then it won’t be a sudden switch from “100% sure” you want to transition to “100% sure” you don’t. It will probably make you feel better to have them on your team while you’re trying to work through all of this, instead of trying to work it out in isolation. Talking to them about their thoughts and feelings on gender in open dialogue might surprise you with perspectives you never considered. And that way no matter what you decide, they won’t be surprised about your choice.

Based on personal experience i think it will not keep dropping. With a weekly shot, my voice drops to its lowest about two days after the shot. Not generally noticeable in conversation, but I can definitely track it in my singing range. Then I might lose the lowest two notes of my range (and gain two notes in my upper range) by day 6. Over many doses, the whole voice drops. But at this point you have less and less T in your system every day. My subjective experience is that it’s those spikes right after the shot that seem to do the lowering work, so my guess is that your voice has dropped as low as it will and is already lightening up.

There are always worse mistakes. :) it’s great you realized after only seven months on T. Try not to be too hard on yourself if you can help it. You have the opportunity to connect with yourself on a whole different level now, even if it’s hard and scary and painful in the process. Wishing you all the best.

This resonates so much with me. I have a very typical trans narrative too, always gender nonconforming from a young age, dysphoria at puberty, definite improvement to my quality of life through transition. When I was first coming out/identifying as trans in my teens I believed an oft-cited study about trans people having brain structures more similar to their gender ID than others of their birth sex. I thought I must have a male brain in a female body—it was the only explanation I'd found for how alien I felt in the world. But those studies claiming material differences between "male" and "female" brains have since been discredited. And without that, I've been struggling to make sense of my experiences.

I faced so much social pressure and stigma from a young age. I was harassed going into female public bathrooms. It was constantly made clear that I was doing something "wrong," and after coming out as trans I used to joke that I had tried my best but failed at being female. I tried wearing girls' clothes and felt so, so uncomfortable. The only women I saw who were anywhere near as GNC as me were lesbians, so I tried to cultivate crushes on girls, which didn't work at all. When I dressed and acted the way I wanted, I got treated like a freak—even though I knew I was smart, and funny, and a worthwhile person, I was always stuck on the outside looking in. And lo and behold, once I reached the point of transition where I passed as a cis male, those social problems melted away and I was able to get on with my life just fine.

Before I transitioned I was so miserable I thought I wouldn't be able to make it to 30. Now I have a lot to live for, but the reasoning I built my life choices around has crumbled under my feet. After much reading of this subreddit, conversations, and consideration, I've decided I can't see detransitioning and upending my life again—to what end? I tried quitting HRT for several months to medically detransition but it made me miserable, so I went back on. Having my mental framework shift drastically after 15 years is hard to grapple with. I'm not even sure whether to think of myself or male or female. After all socially I operate as male, historically/chromosomally I'm female, and physically I'm floating somewhere in the middle. Mentally I'm...confused. Those big "what ifs" are everywhere. What if it wasn't inevitable? What if, as OP says, I could have learned to be happy as that person instead?

I’m trans. Answering based on my experiences and on and talking to people in this community.

-first: if you have serious doubts, don’t start medical interventions. They will always be an option later and it’s not a race.

-if you have other mental health concerns, work through them and try to get to a stable place before making a decision. Especially OCD and any personality disorders, history of eating disorders, trauma history etc. seem to play a role in attaching to transition as a “solution.” Autism can also play a role. this is all based on my reading of others’ posts here, not personal experience. Explore more and try to talk to actual detrans folks if any of this resonates.

-the main thing I’ve learned from this community is: there are different causes of gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia. Being trans is one cause, but not the only one. It’s great you’re in therapy. If you can, in your sessions don’t start with “i am trans” and work backwards from there. Focus on your feelings of dysphoria and explore the different potential causes and solutions. Maybe some practices borrowed from eating disorder treatments would help you with body dysmorphia, for example. Even if you end up transitioning you will almost certainly still struggle with some dysphoria and dysmorphia (I do) so tools to deal with that will be helpful regardless.

-you don’t have to go by your birth name forever. I have a friend who goes by a typically male name just because. It confuses people sometimes (they sometimes ask if she’s trans) but who cares?

-You said that as a kid you suppressed some interests because they didn’t match with wanting to be a boy. There is a very mixed-up narrative that sometimes bubbles up in trans communities when we focus too much on “passing.” But being trans is not about suppressing parts of your personality. And that kind of suppression is not an easy path towards a satisfying life. Explore your interests, even if they seem “femme” or embarrassing. You don’t have to tell anyone, just honestly explore what you like to do in private. Maybe let yourself do the stuff you held back on as a kid. Every person—trans or cis—has a mix of feminine and masculine interests and traits. If you are considering transition as a way to excise the feminine parts of yourself, you should explore why you feel that’s necessary.

Hope some is this is helpful. And good luck, whatever you end up deciding.