Nearly all violent crime is committed by men. In the US, men make up over 90% of murderers.

People can say "not all men" but it's not "reverse sexism" against men, it's just facts. But men also make up the vast majority of murder victims as well. So it is pretty dangerous to be a man if you run in bad circles. Women are murdered less often but whereas men are usually killed by strangers or acquaintances in robberies and gang fights, women are usually killed by husbands, boyfriends, or exes - men who once proclaimed to love them but then turned on them.

Men being dangerous may not be a strong reason for males to want to transition. However, it's pretty common for females to have been subjected to physical or sexual violence by men. They see transitioning as a way of being safer, that if they transition they won't be raped ("Boys Don't Cry" notwithstanding).

So no, I don't think many MTFs transition to avoid being seen as dangerous. Most males are already pretty disconnected from the statistics, they think, "I'm not a serial killer, why should women be nervous around me? I'm a good guy." They don't grasp that "good guys" and "bad guys" look identical and that even if they think of themselves as "good guys," they probably have done some bad things. They just don't think doing bad things makes them a bad person. Everyone sees themselves as "fundamentally a good person" - even men in prison for violent crimes.

Not to make light of your situation but have you met women? I am not certain I've met any woman who is "free and careless" (carefree?) and always have sensitive friends to listen. The "Mean Girls"-like bullying is most prominent in teenage years but exists in many women-dominated workplaces and even friendship circles. Male social dynamics appear so much more straightforward and easy.

At least coming from a conservative culture, women are usually expected to be constantly working and there is a great deal of expectation on women, both in heterosexual marriage and the workplace.

Perhaps it's "the grass is always greener" issue but, since childhood, I've always seen boys and men as the ones with few real responsibilities. My father, although conservative, is a pretty good man. So he doesn't just sit, drink beer, and watch football. But, that stereotype exists for a reason. Even in an office where men and women hold the same title, there's a greater burden placed on women to keep the office running in addition to fulfilling their job description.

Men may weaponize incompetence (I don't want to do something, so I don't try to be good at it, and other people have to pick up the slack). But I think the blind spot is often unintentional. Women, especially in the family, are expected to be juggling a dozen things at the same time and making sure everything runs smoothly. Men are taught to focus on one thing at a time.

So if your dysphoria is brought on by envy of women, I think the easiest remedy would be to disabuse yourself of the image you have of women. Certainly, some people transition to live as women even understanding how poorly men treat women. Whatever your decision, it is good to see things as they are, as women see them. If you transition, you're going into it eyes open. If you don't, you can empathize more with women and help to change their situation.

I don't know how rare dysphoria is because I don't know how to define it.

Quite a few women passed as men historically. It was common when traveling, as in Shakespeare's "As You Like It", "Twelfth Night" (modernized as "She's the Man"), and other plays. There are famous cases and plenty of ordinary women (mostly lesbians) who passed as men to earn a living wage.

Obviously, those women were upset with how women were treated by men and the only way they could be equals was to pass as men. Is that dysphoria?

I don't think there's any way to separate a physical dysphoria from social dysphoria. Sexism and sexual harassment and abuse causes deep damage to girls. Most trans people were/would be gay. Homophobia is so rampant and internalized. Gay kids are often attacked by their peers and parents for gender non-conforming behavior.

What is dysphoria? Certainly, I think all of us experience it differently. But many of us have common experiences of abuse that shaped our self-image and directed us towards how we believed we could be safe in the future.

This is also why it is so incredibly difficult to get a hysterectomy. Even if you have debilitating endometriosis and could never get pregnant, practically every doctor will refuse to treat you. They claim that you are stealing the right of a future man in your life to have children (even if you date women). They say they won't do hysterectomies because you might change your mind years later and then sue them.

Do you want this to be the situation for everything? This idea that adults shouldn't have autonomy because they might regret a decision? That's also why we are facing abortion becoming a crime throughout much of the US - - this idea that a woman must be prevented from having an abortion because she might possibly regret it in the future.

Autonomy is a major part of being an adult. You make decisions. You might later regret that decision. That doesn't mean the government should make all your decisions for you. Accepting that you might make a decision that you later regret and not deferring all decisions to "authority figures" in your life is part of growing up.

Everyone needs to accept responsibly for decisions they've made in their lives. That you regret your decision doesn't mean it's someone else's fault that you made that decision. It means you're not perfect and you're still deciding who you want to be and that can change over time. That's normal. That's life.

I don't want to focus on specific individuals but I worked with CrashChaosCats on some detrans projects. They had an energy that worried me. Then after several years of public detrans activism, they whiplashed again to denounce it. Several mutuals agreed the best thing would be for them to just leave the spotlight and work on themselves for a while.

That's where I am as well. I was permabanned from Twitter for arguing with a trans person and I lost that circle of friends. I compensated with Facebook detrans and radfem groups for a while (for which I also spent time on FB jail), that's also when I resumed my activity in this sub. But that faded away and it was healthy to leave the internal and external drama and focus on myself.

Self-care has to come first. I've been in various left-wing activist causes a long time. Burnout is so common. It's a marathon, not a sprint and what matters the most is personal relationships, not think pieces or video essays. There is a big risk of overfeeding the ego, especially online.

I had a boyfriend call me out about 15 years ago on how much time I was spending arguing on the internet. It's not effective. Build relationships instead.

You want what's best for other people but first you have to figure out what's best for you.

Ken Zucker (part of the Blanchard and Bailey circle) has some studies and meta studies that estimate around that. But the real question is not which number is correct but what are they measuring. Zucker wasn't looking at teenagers who identified as trans who went to therapy to transition. He looked at children whose parents sent them to therapy because they felt the boys weren't masculine enough.

So in those studies and meta studies of small numbers of boys, he found that most turned out gay. Some others turned out straight and only a few transitioned.

To ask why gay men were often effeminate boys (even if they learned to blend in later) is an interesting but different question. There certainly is some overlap, teenagers who came out as gay before they then came out as trans, or even who started transition but realized it wasn't for them and then identified at gay men.

If you only consider those who identified as trans, the percentage who desist or detransition is much smaller. It obviously happens but what Zucker was looking at were not even trans to begin with, so it's no wonder that few transitioned.

There are plenty of women with deep voices. There are also trans women who went through voice training and sound natural. "T voice" is the result of basically doing two opposing things, it's not inherent. Voice training is basically like training to sing except you're just speaking. It's really common for transfems, so they're used to helping people with deeper voices sound more feminine.

But I also think women with deep voices are pretty cool. I know there's some women that get upset if they're called "sir" on the phone but when was the last time you called someone you didn't know? I once had a coworker with a pretty deep voice. Was she trans or detrans? I don't think so but she was pretty alt and her voice added to her coolness.

Or look at Elizabeth Holmes. Women are intentionally making their voice sound more masculine to be taken more seriously (Then she stopped doing that and went back to a more feminine voice to sound less serious and more innocent now that she's been convicted of massive fraud).

You are just going through a rough period. You will get through it. There are many people online who are going through similar things and I've met some wonderful detrans women. It's not a critical mistake, it's a journey.

Don't despair. Stay positive. You're still creating yourself. Please talk to a counselor or therapist. I know access is pretty hard right now but it really does help.

"Elective surgery" refers to anything that's not immediately necessary. If you get shot and you're wheeled into the ED, that's not elective. If you have cancer and have to remove a body part to keep it from spreading, that's elective.

You mean "cosmetic surgery." People get boob jobs, nose jobs, ear pins, face lifts, and more. Regret is extremely common. Even with life-saving surgery, depression and regret is very common. That's true for something as visible and identity-forming as removing a breast or testicle but it's also true of organs we don't think much about, like a kidney. People become depressed due to the simple trauma of surgery.

It is true that someone can take breast implants out - and many people do. A double mastectomy isn't reversible in the same way. You could theoretically get implants but your actual organs went in the medical waste bin. So that's fair.

Transgender-related surgeries have the lowest regret rate of any cosmetic surgery. That's not much comfort for those who do regret surgery and that's not a reason to not be at least cautious about teenage surgeries. But when considering overall policy, it does matter.

Some people do transition for the wrong reasons. The decision to transition is complex. It can be a result of abuse, sexual or otherwise. It can be the result of internalized misogyny and homophobia. I don't believe anyone is "trapped in the wrong body" as a core cause, there's always deeper issues. But people get tattoos, even face tattoos. They stretch their ears and noses and lips. They get non-transgender cosmetic surgeries. Some anabolic steroids are illegal but people become body builders to the point they don't look normal. Being transgender is on the one hand radical but on the other hand not really radical at all. Many people can live without even many other people knowing they're biologically the opposite sex from what people assume.

That's why I can't have a whole lot of sympathy for those who lash out at everyone else for "letting them transition." It's a lot better to live in a society that supports people making those choices than not.

That goes for adults. I'm very uncomfortable with kids medically transitioning but I was a teenager and none of the others I knew detransitioned. As an adult, I had a friend (who was unrelated to the LGBT community) whose child transitioned. I openly told her that I think it's a last resort and I can't support putting elementary school kids on puberty blockers. But it's been over ten years and I don't think he's going to detransition. It seems to be okay the vast majority of the time.

I support better mental health treatment for gender issues and I believe that therapists are lazy when they just sign off on hormones instead of exploring the root causes. But I wouldn't want to live in a society where transition wasn't an option because the rulers say it's against religion or all people with gender dysphoria should be locked in asylums.

People, especially teenagers, will bully people over absolutely anything. Maybe you're short or tall, fat or thin, maybe you wear glasses or have a disability, maybe you're a woman with a small chest or a large chest, if you're a virgin then you're a prude bit of you aren't then you're a slut, maybe you're gay or have an accent, are your parents rich or poor?

Saying that if you're under 5'5", then just kys is ridiculous and harmful. Perhaps instead of trying to figure out how to have the "perfect body" so people will like you, stop trying to get those people to like you and just be you. Watch "Mean Girls."

My father is 5'5". I'm pretty sure his primary issue with being short is having my mother hem all his pants. My FTM ex was worried about transitioning into a 5'1" guy but that was 20 years ago. I've worked with actual little people who are like 4' tall. Yes, the world isn't designed for very short people but it's still better with people of all sizes in it.

Life goes on, even for short people.

It appears he posted probably this same post on several subreddits for other religions (which were then removed by mods) as "evidence" that his religion is the right one (as though people in every religion don't have "spiritual experience" - although drugs and brain trauma are usually pretty easy ways to "see God").

There's also a bunch of antivaxxer and general racist, right wing stuff. I'd suggest he's a religious troll, not detrans.