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Reddit user /u/urlocalisfjgirl's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 20 -> Detransitioned: 20
female
low self-esteem
hated breasts
regrets transitioning
trauma
depression
body dysmorphia
anxiety
eating disorder
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.

The user's posts are highly personal, emotionally consistent, and detail a specific, complex narrative of detransition rooted in body image issues and trauma. The passion and criticism of medical practices align with known perspectives in the detrans community. The writing style is natural, with nuanced opinions and conversational asides (e.g., "the girls who get it get it"), which is not typical of automated bots.

About me

I started to believe I was a man because I felt being a woman was limiting and I hated my body due to bullying and an eating disorder. A psychiatrist encouraged me to transition after just one session, but it felt rushed and wrong. I chose real therapy for my trauma instead, which helped me reconnect with my body. I now understand my problem was never my gender, but a deep self-hatred that got confused. I am now a happy, feminine woman and I'm grateful I avoided irreversible procedures so I can still become a mother.

My detransition story

Of course. Here is my summary, based on my own comments and experiences.

My whole journey with gender started with a deep feeling of not wanting to be a side character in my own life. I saw it everywhere—in anime, in movies, in real life. The main characters were always men, and the women were often just the love interest or the sidekick. I didn't want to be the "boring village girl" that the hero marries. I wanted to be the hero. This made me start to think that to be someone important and respected, I had to be a man. I began to feel like maybe I was supposed to be one.

I loved stories with strong female characters, but I noticed a problem there, too. For a woman to be considered strong and well-written, she often had to act hyper-masculine and dominant. It felt like a normal, regular woman could never be the main focus of a great story. This really bothered me and added to my feeling that being a woman was a limiting thing.

I started to believe that my discomfort with being a woman was because I was transgender. I remember telling my psychiatrist that I felt like a man. I was really struggling, and her response shocked me. After just one single session, she told me that feeling this way wasn't an illness and that I shouldn't go to therapy for it. She said I should just start transitioning. It felt so rushed and wrong.

Luckily, I didn't listen to her. Something felt off, so I kept searching for answers. I started to question everything. I looked back at my life and realized that my feelings weren't really about gender. They were rooted in other, deeper issues.

I had an eating disorder and I was heavily bullied as a child by other girls because of my weight. That trauma made me feel completely disconnected from my own body. I hated the way I looked, and since I was female, I ended up hating anything associated with being a woman. I felt like I had failed at being a girl because I didn't look the way I was "supposed" to. I now see that my problem was never my gender; it was a deep self-hatred and a form of body dysmorphia that got twisted into what I thought was gender dysphoria.

I decided to go to therapy for my eating disorder and the trauma from the bullying instead of pursuing transition. That was the real help I needed. Working through those issues, I slowly started to feel better. I began to feel secure and okay in my own skin for the first time. I reconnected with my body and my womanhood. I realized I am a very feminine woman, and I always have been, even as a child. I was the girliest girl.

I am so grateful I didn't take that psychiatrist's advice. I can't imagine how ruined my life would be if I had. I want to be a mom someday, and medical transition would have taken that away from me. I don't regret my transition journey because it led me to find the real answers, but I absolutely regret that a medical professional was so quick to recommend irreversible changes without looking for the root cause.

My thoughts on gender now are that a lot of it is tied up in harmful stereotypes and societal pressure. For me, it wasn't about an innate identity; it was about wanting to escape the limitations I felt were placed on me as a woman. I believe we need to break down those toxic gender roles so that everyone, men and women, can be whoever they want to be without feeling like they need to change their bodies to fit in.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
Childhood Heavily bullied by other girls for my weight. This trauma led to low self-esteem and a disconnection from my body.
Teenagers Developed an eating disorder and body dysmorphia. The hatred for my body extended to a hatred of my female features.
20 First saw a psychiatrist and said I felt like a man. Was advised to transition after only one session.
20 Researched alternatives to transition and began therapy for my eating disorder and childhood trauma instead.
21 Through proper therapy, addressed the root causes of my distress. Began to feel secure and connected to my body and womanhood.
Present I am comfortable and happy as a woman. I am grateful I avoided medical transition and can look forward to a future, including being a mother.

Top Comments by /u/urlocalisfjgirl:

6 comments • Posting since February 27, 2024
Reddit user urlocalisfjgirl (desisted female) explains how a psychiatrist advised her to transition after just one session, but she instead sought therapy for an eating disorder and past trauma, which resolved her dysphoria.
75 pointsMar 9, 2024
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When i told my psychiatrist i felt like a man she said it is not an illness and i shouldn't go to therapy for it, i should start transition ONLY AFTER ONE SESSION WITH ME. Luckily i didn't and researched what can i do other than transition, after questioning everything about myself, i realized it was my eating disorder and the trauma from being heavily bullied for my weight when i was child. After going to therapies for that instead of gender change, i feel better, secure and totally okay in my body also connected with my womanhood.

I cannot imagine how bad my life would be if i trusted her and immediately started transitioning. I want to be a mom, i am a very feminine woman, i was the girliest girl as a child too.

Yeah, we DID NOT consent 🙏🏻

Reddit user urlocalisfjgirl (detrans female) explains how misogyny and the desire to be society's 'main character' led to her transition, citing male idealization and offensive gender norms.
16 pointsFeb 27, 2024
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And when I ask myself what gender I want to be, the answer is of course to be a man. Because I want to be the main character, not the boring village girl the main character marries. This isn't just in anime, it's also in real life. This is very disturbing and there are other reasons for feeling like the opposite gender, not necessarily childhood trauma, but also male ideolization, identity disorders/confusion, misogynistic society, offensive gender norms. And I see that's the case with me.

Reddit user urlocalisfjgirl (desisted female) explains how her gender dysphoria was caused by an eating disorder and childhood bullying, and criticizes a psychiatrist who recommended transition after a single session.
15 pointsMar 9, 2024
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My dysphoria was caused by my eating disorder & being heavily bullied as a child for my weight by other girls. So i felt disconnected from my body, also from the womanhood. My psychiatrist told me it is not s problem to be trans and said i should just transition after ONE SINGLE SESSION. Luckily didn't listen to her and kept searching. I get u and i feel so sorry that they didn't try to help u but just force the gender ideology. Luckily u found yourself at the end tho 🙏🏻

Reddit user urlocalisfjgirl (detrans female) comments on the ethics of performing transition surgeries on mentally ill adults, arguing doctors should prioritize therapy over irreversible procedures.
11 pointsMar 7, 2024
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Yeah but if those adults are mêntally ill and doctors perform surgery on them instead of sending them to therapist doesn't sit right with me. Because mentally ill people can make wrong decisions that will ruin their lives and a doctor's duty is to protect them from it

Reddit user urlocalisfjgirl (detrans female) comments that while being a "cute love interest" is fine, many women don't want to be forced into the "side character" role and desire to be the main character, adding that gender roles are toxic and no one should be forced into a specific archetype.
6 pointsFeb 27, 2024
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Oh no that's totally okay!! I am not saying everyone desires to be the protagonist or it s a bad thing to be a cute love interest, i am saying that there are women like me who don't want to be side characters only and want to be the main character. It shouldn't be forced on us.

And yes, being the main character shouldn't be forced on men as well. Gender roles are toxic, you are totally entitled to be whatever you are, please don't feel bad!

Reddit user urlocalisfjgirl (detrans female) discusses internalized misogyny in media, questioning why well-written female leads must be hyper-masculine and dominant to be considered powerful and respected.
4 pointsFeb 27, 2024
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No i don't, i get that she is not a basic girl but she is still not the main character. I want a well written work who has a woman as their main character.

Also i love Fullmetal alchemist but i find a few things as micro internalized misogyny, there are strong female characters in it but all of them are just so cold and so powerful and so masculine. The issue is why can't be a normal regular woman exist as a well written character?

Is it always hypermasculine/hyperdominant woman to show she is powerful and respectful, or she is just a side character.

I am not shading the author but we know, i know that many women have internalized misogyny and even they make main characters men. (Not specifically the manga of Fullmetal alchemist but the girls who get it get it, the girls who don't dont.)