This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments demonstrate:
- Personal, nuanced opinions on complex topics like identity, politics, and trauma.
- Consistent perspective that is critical of transition as an escape from societal pressures, which is a common and passionate viewpoint in the detrans community.
- Emotional depth and vulnerability, including sharing poetry and personal fears, which is atypical for bots.
- Idiosyncratic language patterns (e.g., "I realise self," "folks))") that suggest a non-native English speaker, not a scripted bot.
The user expresses a viewpoint consistent with a desister (someone who stopped identifying as trans without medical intervention) who is passionate and critical of the ideology they once followed.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort started when I developed breasts during puberty. I thought becoming a man was the only way to be strong and safe, so I tried to live as male for a few years. I eventually realized this was a form of escapism from my fears and from societal pressures on women. I never medically transitioned, and I now understand I can be a strong, gender non-conforming female. My journey taught me that true freedom is about finding who you are outside of any system or expectation.
My detransition story
My journey with gender has been long and complicated, and I've spent a lot of time trying to figure myself out. I was born female, and for a long time, I believed I was transgender and needed to transition to male. A lot of my feelings started from a deep discomfort with my body during puberty, especially with developing breasts. I hated them and couldn't see them as a part of me. I think this was mixed up with a lot of other things, like low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. I was also influenced a lot by what I saw online and by friends in the community; it felt like the only way to solve the discomfort was to change my body to match how I felt inside.
I started to believe that to be strong, useful, and safe in the world, I had to be a man. I had this idea that being a man meant being a protector, being strong and calculated. I thought it was a strategy for survival, a way to avoid being hurt again. I even pushed myself to find male role models, to try and like men's clothes, their voice, their muscle structure, and their manners. I tried to integrate all of it into myself because I thought that was what I needed to do.
But over time, I realized that a lot of this was escapism. It was a fantasy I used to cope with real problems and fears, not who I truly was. I was trying to escape from the pressures and expectations placed on me as a female. I felt guilty, like I was wasting my "biological potential" and the privilege I had to help build a better society. I had to learn that I don't exist for the system. I began to understand that my value isn't tied to being a perfect example of anything. I can be strong and useful without being a man. Womanhood isn't about weakness.
I also had to confront my relationship with sexuality. There were times in my life where I felt I had to pretend to be homophobic for my own safety in society, because if you didn't hate gay people, people assumed you were gay and that made you a target. This wasn't my true feeling, but a act for protection.
I never went through with medical transition like taking hormones or getting surgery. I only transitioned socially for a period. Now, I see that my journey was more about being a gender non-conforming person. I've come to believe that political beliefs and your personal identity should be separate, because mixing them can cause harm. You have to find out who you are outside of all the noise and pressure.
I don't regret exploring transition because it led me to a deeper understanding of myself. But I am glad I didn't make permanent changes to my body. My thoughts on gender now are that it's deeply personal, and the most important thing is to find the freedom to be yourself, whatever that looks like. You don't have to be a cog in the system. You have to ask yourself what you would choose if you had all the freedom in the world—freedom from society, from your fears. "Today all the world is for you," as the poem says. Hurry to live and to love, and don't miss out on it.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 13 | Started puberty, began to feel intense discomfort and hated my developing breasts. |
| 16-18 | Heavily influenced online and by friends; began to socially identify as male. |
| 19 | Started seriously questioning my gender, seeking out male role models and styles. |
| 21 | Realized my desire to transition was largely escapism and a survival strategy, not my true identity. |
| 22 | Stopped identifying as male and accepted myself as a gender non-conforming female. |
Top Comments by /u/userhidnickname:
tbh it's a very deep topic...
I think political and identity must be separate, because it can harm you. I also feel guilty about wasting my "biological" potential and privilege that can help me build better society, world. But why do I must do something that can give me real wanted things? I don't want to be used.
"Do you know that you’re human?
Do you know that or not?
Your smile is one of the kind,
Your pain is one of the kind,
Your eyes are one of the kind,
Tomorrow you won’t be here
Tomorrow on this blessed land
Others’ll be running and laughing,
Others’ll be feeling and loving -
The good, kindhearted and evil.
Today all the world is for you:
Forests and hills, valleys deep.
So hurry to live need,
So hurry to love need,
Don’t miss out on it, don’t oversleep!
‘Cause you on this Earth are a human.
And whether you want it or not,
Your smile is one of the kind,
Your pain is one of the kind,
Your eyes are one of the kind."
Vasyl' Symonenko
Some individualistic literature for this human! You don`t exist for the system, you didn't born for the system. How many you must to give? And for what?.. To be isolated from everybody to live in ideals of somebody about purpose of AMAB? For pain? You can also destroy patriarchy without be a perfect example of non-patriarchy man or something like this. You can be strong as a man, useful as a man and not be a man, don't about this feminism? Womanhood not about weaking.
Nobody can't know what better for you, even you don't know your future. If transition for you just way to avoid manhood - maybe this is really not for you. But if your gender non-comforming don't stop only on manners, expression, but also include your identity... maybe. What you really choose if you have all freedom? Freedom from society, from your fears, etc. Take it. "Today all the world is for you."
Don't restrict to be a cog of the system. Separate yourself from your political beliefs.
No, I mean for men too, because they also develop breasts.
If I know, you haven't to feel pain all time, after growing it must be gone. And I absentmindedly read your massage, didn't notice "permanent pain", sorry. Now I realise this. I hope you find a good doctor who can help you and it won't be permanent. And bit thanks for warning.
You already know what to do. You try find in men role models, but you describe that you see women and wanna be like them, maybe you have to look at men appearance. Maybe try to find men with style that you like. Leave the role model behind. Even for me this is sometimes help, but I reverse to be girl, how even hard I tried. You can find men's voice that you like (i did), men's clothes (i did), men's muscle structure (i did), men's manners and integrate it for you, it is totally ok to follow others if you like. Try to fallow more feminine men. And you understand that you really want. And therapy really help you with this, I advise you talk with therapist or go in group therapy if you will find one.
Fuck... You have very unrealistic standard. Really idk why women can't be great behavioral psychologist? And psychology mostly women's field))) But maybe you little bit like me. I also think about my future and really I will more helpful like man. But and rn I can be more helpful, but I'm not, so... But what I notice - that I really wanna be this cold, strong, calculated, smart and etc man. I already have these features, but think I need more, because I'm afraid. This is strategy for survival. I was wounded, I'm afraid, I plan to avoid this in future. It can be look better, easier, safer, but honestly not. It's exhausted. You can be like this month, two, few, but not years. And you will get problem, because you need more than you get. So better be yourself. Softness good in your work. And people need soft, reliable partners. And about be wife.. It doesn't sound like dysphoria, it sounds like escapism, fantasy to cope with real problems. So transition 98% now way for you.
Idk, maybe I misunderstood you, but I think so.
I love this video about how to be a man. I think it isn't only for men. Watch this pls. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=92z27GM0BnE
Rape will not make you a man. This is disgusting. You can look like you want, but if you are serious and you have balls - people will respect you (my own experience). Be a man it's stay for yourself, stay for you family, friends, stay for smb who need help. Be protector, be kind, be powerful. For this you only need have spine and balls. Rape wouldn't prove your masculinity, this is just will show your weakness. I didn't rape smb and I will not, but what I said I experienced and this is great feeling, feeling of great power. And this isn't only for men, folks))
Why you thought transition is way for you? Because you gnc? Because you like boy clothes? Why you can't just be gnc girl? Transition is hard decision and nobody can't tell you what to do, this is your own responsibility. Even if you lie to yourself because of a stereotype, this is to better understand whether to make the transition. You must question yourself, find yourself and accept it. And after that make your own choice.
I see our experience soooo different. I haven't homophobia from childhood (maybe because I realise self like transgender), only situations when I must to pretend be homophobic for my own safety in society( Because if you don't hate gay - you gay - you target. And it is why I don't force self to love men))