This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on this comment history, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user.
The comments show:
- Specific, personal details: The user shares a multi-faceted, evolving story about their daughter, including specific plans, conversations, and concerns (e.g., modifying a binder, gym class logistics, a sudden change in fashion preferences).
- Consistent perspective: The user's perspective is consistent—a concerned parent trying to navigate their child's gender exploration while prioritizing health. They even mention their own medical history (premature menopause), which adds a layer of personal authenticity.
- Natural language and reasoning: The writing reflects nuanced, real-world parental reasoning, including uncertainty, changing tactics, and attempts to understand peer pressure, which is not typical of scripted bot behavior.
The account does not exhibit the hallmarks of inauthenticity, such as repetitive, generic talking points, inconsistent details, or an agenda-driven focus. The passion and concern shown are consistent with a genuine person in a difficult situation.
About me
I watched my daughter suddenly identify as male at 14, swept up in a trend with her friends. My main concern was her physical health, so I set firm boundaries against hormones and limited her binder use for safety. The intensity faded as the social pressure at her school passed and her friend group changed. She gradually stopped presenting as male and never spoke of it again. I believe I protected her from making permanent decisions based on temporary feelings, and I'm grateful the phase passed before any lasting harm was done.
My detransition story
My journey with my daughter's transition and detransition has been one of the most difficult and confusing experiences of my life. I am writing this summary to share our story in the hope that it might help other parents who feel just as lost as I did.
It all started when my daughter was around 14. She suddenly began identifying as male, changing her name and asking everyone to use masculine pronouns. All of her friends were doing the same thing; it felt like a wave that swept through her entire school. One day she was asking me for pretty, feminine dresses on vacation, and the next she was binding her chest and wearing battle jackets. I tried to be supportive of her exploring her identity, but it was clear to me that this was heavily influenced by her friends and a desire to fit in. There was a strong element of peer pressure that was impossible to reason with.
My main concern from the very beginning was her physical health. She got a binder and was wearing it constantly. I was terrified about the damage it could do to her ribs and lungs. I tried everything to offer her alternatives. I bought her sports bras and talked to her about how layering clothes can disguise your shape. My husband and I both tried to talk to her about how she didn't need to conform to stereotypes to be happy. I even tried to get her into weightlifting as a healthier way to achieve a more masculine look, but she wasn't interested. In fact, I started to notice she was restricting her eating, which was the opposite of what she would need to do to "bulk up."
I never believed she was genuinely transgender. I felt I wasn't dealing with a trans kid, but with a kid caught up in a social trend. She brought up wanting hormones once, and I shut that down immediately. She needed a boundary, and I gave her one. Instead of confiscating her binder outright, which I knew would cause a huge fight, I worked on reducing how much she used it. We made rules: no binding on gym days, no binding at home, only a couple of days a week. I also seriously considered taking her out of that school environment altogether to remove the social pressure.
I tried creative solutions too, like looking into modern Japanese women's fashion, which uses loose, flowing fabrics that can conceal the chest without needing a binder. I even thought about modifying her binder myself to add a front closure so it would be easier and safer to get on and off.
Over time, the intensity of it all just… faded. The social trend at her school seemed to pass, and her friend group changed. Without that constant reinforcement, her need to present as male diminished. She gradually stopped asking to be called by a male name and stopped using the binder altogether. She never really spoke about it again; it was like a chapter she just closed and moved on from.
Looking back, I see a young girl who was uncomfortable with the changes of puberty and was looking for a way to escape those feelings. She found that escape in a new identity that was popular within her friend group. It was never about a deep-seated, innate sense of being male. It was about the turmoil of being a teenage girl.
I don't regret how I handled it. I don't regret preventing her from getting medical interventions. I believe I protected her from making permanent decisions based on temporary feelings. My biggest regret is that I couldn't find a way to help her with her underlying discomfort and eating issues more effectively. I am just profoundly grateful that it was a phase she outgrew before any lasting physical harm was done.
Here is a timeline of what happened:
| My Age | My Daughter's Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|---|
| - | 14 | ~2019 | Daughter socially transitioned, changed name and pronouns, influenced by friends. |
| - | 14 | 2019 | I became concerned about binder use and her restrictive eating habits. |
| - | 14 | 2019 | I enforced rules to limit binder use for her safety. |
| - | 15-16 | 2020-2021 | Social pressure at school decreased and she gradually stopped identifying as male. |
| - | 17 | ~2022 | She was living comfortably again as a female, the phase had passed. |
Top Comments by /u/vanyali:
I think I’m going to go a bit more gentle than confiscating the binder. Cutting down on its usage to a couple of days/week, not around the house, being more forceful about exploring alternatives, and maybe taking her out of this school environment altogether. I think that’s likely to go better and have a better outcome. But I get what you’re saying.
Oh she’s in it. She’s changed her name and is telling everyone to use masculine pronouns. And so have all her friends. So I go along with it, but gently remind her that she doesn’t have to choose male or female, not really, and can always change her mind. She brought up hormones the other day and I did squash that pretty quick. It’s like she is seeing how far she can push it. So if she was looking for a boundary, she found one.
Have you looked into modern Japanese women’s clothing? It is very loose and can make most women look flat as a board even without a binder but are still women’s clothes. I’m trying to introduce my daughter to it to ween her from her binder.
I’ll go look for some links to show you what I’m talking about.
Just for perspective, I’m a cis female who went through premature menopause in my 20’s for no known reason and it took me years to find a doctor who would give me hormones. As it is I think there is one doc in my whole state who does hormone replacement therapy for cis women with natural deficiencies. It sucks. But it’s not just you, they don’t want to give it to anybody.
Funny thing is, I’ve said all those things. Bought her sports bras. Told her about how layering shirts disguises your shape just fine. How bulking up does more to change your look than anything else you can do. My husband has given her the talk about how you can do or be whatever you want and don’t have to conform to stereotypes to meet other people’s expectations. I think it’s hard to make any headway because I’m not really dealing with a trans kid, I’m dealing with peer pressure. And there is no logic to fads and peer pressure.
I think she will be open to leaving the binder at home on gym days. She told me about the 8-hour-a-day rule, and about the not-wearing-for-exercise rule. So she seems interested in doing binding “right”, which I appreciate.
I was thinking about taking her gc2b binder, splitting it down the front, and adding hook-and-eye closures to it, to make it like a front-closing bra. That way she wouldn’t have to squish herself through the thing to get it on and off. Do you think that would help a bit?
I’m thinking of telling her about the ribs and lungs issues and ban her from using the binder on days that she has to dress-out for gym class, reasoning that she shouldn’t wear it when she has to exercise (there are no changing rooms at school so she just has to wear her “gym clothes” to school all day those days anyway).
I’ve tried getting her into exercise and weightlifting as a more healthy way to look more masculine but she isn’t interested in following through. Truth be told, she seems to be restricting her eating, which of course leads to opposite results to bulking up.
I think she is going to extremes to fit in at school. Just this summer, on vacation, she was asking me for fit-and-flare dresses and earrings. Now it’s binders and battle jackets. I’m fine with all of it except the rib/lung/tissue damage.
Thanks for your help.