This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor. The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally complex narrative of a detransitioner's experience, including personal medical details, evolving feelings, and internal conflicts that are difficult to fabricate convincingly. The language is natural, and the passion and criticism align with the expected perspective of someone who feels harmed by their transition experience.
About me
I was born male and started transitioning at 19, thinking it was the answer to my anxiety and depression. My medical process felt rushed and didn't explore my other mental health issues. Living as a woman made my anxiety far worse and I felt a constant, crushing pressure to look a certain way. I stopped hormones after five years and am now dealing with the permanent breast development they caused. I don't regret the journey because it led me here, but I feel like I lost years of my life chasing a solution that only made everything harder.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was long and complicated. I was born male and I transitioned to female for nearly five years, taking hormones for most of that time. I’m glad I never had any surgeries, because seeing what some friends went through with irreversible changes early on makes me realize I saved myself from a lot of heartache.
I started transitioning because at the time, it felt like the answer to a lot of my problems. Looking back, I think a lot of it was tied up in other issues. I had really bad anxiety and a kind of persistent low-level depression that was diagnosed as dysthymia. My self-esteem was very low. I think I was also influenced by what I saw online; there’s a weird push to transition and it can feel like the only solution when you’re in those spaces.
The process to get hormones felt rushed. I only had two or three visits with a psychiatrist where I talked a little about my life and why I wanted to transition. We didn’t really explore other things that might have been going on with me. I went to therapy a few times but it wasn't really for me then, though the therapist was nice and tried to help.
Living as a woman was incredibly hard on my mental health. My anxiety became so much worse. Even though I passed almost all the time, I felt a constant, crushing pressure to wear makeup and look a certain way. It was so bad that I had constant anxiety attacks and ended up dropping out of three semesters of school because I couldn’t handle it.
The way I was treated in relationships really messed me up. I was often treated like I was subhuman, and that did a number on my self-worth. I also started to realize that even if I had gotten all the surgeries I thought I wanted, like facial feminization surgery, I knew deep down I would never truly be satisfied with my body. The cost was also insane and completely out of reach.
I began to understand that for me, and for a lot of people, transition can stem from things like abuse, internalized homophobia, low self-esteem, and poor mental health. These are serious problems that need to be thoroughly evaluated, but it feels like doctors are sometimes too afraid of being called transphobic or gatekeepers to really ask the hard questions. It upsets me that even questioning someone’s transition can be seen as hateful.
After I stopped hormones, I had to deal with gynecomastia, which is breast development. My endocrinologist told me to wait to see if my natural testosterone would change anything, but after 7 or 8 months, nothing happened. I saw a plastic surgeon who said that because my breasts were pretty developed, I’d need a significant surgery with an inverted T incision that would leave scarring. I have a check-up with him soon to see about that.
I don’t exactly regret transitioning because it led me to where I am now, but I do feel like I lost years of my life chasing a delusion. I used to look at old pictures of myself as a boy and feel so sad that I couldn’t see then that I was perfectly fine and happy. I ruined that by trying to become someone else. Transitioning made every little thing about life so much harder.
Now, I’m just trying to live my life. My parents and I still don’t really talk about it because it upsets everyone, but I understand their stance against it now better than I did before. I’ve found a lot of support and clarity from reading the stories of other detrans people online; it helps to know I’m not alone and that others have felt the same way.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 19 | Started seeing a psychiatrist about transitioning. |
| 19 | Began taking feminizing hormones. |
| 23 | Stopped taking hormones after nearly 5 years. |
| 24 | Consulted with a plastic surgeon about gynecomastia. |
Top Comments by /u/veamoth:
Hi, I’m also a male detransitioner and I’m so sorry for what you had to go through. This hurt to watch because of how much I relate to it. The abuse, the frustration, the malpractice. Whenever I mention that there’s a high prevalence of abuse and mental illness among trans people or that transitioning should be one of the last resorts to treating gender dysphoria, I get people thinking I’m transphobic. It’s just so ridiculously easy to get hormones. Also it’s so common for people nowadays especially to be uncomfortable with their bodies and sexuality during their teenage years and adolescence, I completely understand how someone could think transitioning is the answer to that, because I did that exact thing.
Your story about the picture of yourself reminded me of how I used to scroll through old pictures of myself as a boy while I was still transitioning. I’d always feel so bad for taking years away from myself, chasing the delusion of transitioning. I looked perfectly fine and happy and I ruined it. Transitioning made every little thing about life so much harder.
Anyways, abuse is a cycle. I hope you were able to remove yourself from that situation. Make sure to be kind to others, but yourself above all else. If you ever feel like life gets overwhelming or (de)transitioning(?) gets you down, feel free to message me. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Transitions that stem from abuse, internalized homophobia, low self-esteem, poor mental health, self-hate, and sexual fantasies are all too common and transitioning often makes the lives of these people even more complicated. These are problems/warning signs that aren’t thoroughly evaluated enough when hormones and surgeries are approved.
It genuinely upsets me that even questioning someone’s transition can be seen as transphobic. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through but I’m glad you seem to have figured yourself out.
It helped me a lot knowing and understanding where the anxiety and dysphoria is coming from. Try to explore this subreddit a little if you haven’t already, people here have very similar experiences and put it into words way better than I ever could. This subreddit has helped me immensely.
I detransitioned because it felt like I was setting myself up for failure. I don’t regret transitioning really. I only took hormones for nearly half a decade. I know some people who have had irreversible surgeries very early into their transition and I’m glad I didn’t do that to myself.
Some of the major reasons I detransitioned:
The cost of surgery was insane. FFS (facial feminization surgery) especially.
Even with surgeries, I knew I would never be satisfied with my body.
Being treated differently, especially in relationships. This one kind of fucked me up. I was treated like a subhuman in a lot of interpersonal relationships.
Anxiety became worse. Even though I passed 99.99% of the time, I always felt the need to wear makeup and look a certain way. I dropped out of like 3 semesters because the anxiety attacks wouldn’t stop.
As for trans agenda, there is definitely a weird push to transition. I don’t think transitioning is right for everyone with gender dysphoria and a lot of the specialists who evaluate those kinds of things are fearful of being “transphobic” or “gatekeepers”. It makes me a little sad that J.K. Rowling is seen as transphobic.
My parents asked why I decided to cut off all my hair after like 4 years of keeping it long but transitioning isn’t really a topic we’ve openly talked about because of how upset both parties get. They were always very against me transitioning and there was always a bit of a language barrier but now I’m able to fully understand their stance. If I were you, I would just straight up tell them that you don’t want to deal with transitioning anymore for whatever reason, whether it’s because of societal views or how mentally taxing it is.
I’m detrans and have been lurking here for around a year. I haven’t seen anything hateful here in comparison to subs that might stray from the mainstream gender ideology (thinking gendercritical and gendercriticalguys, yikes). This is mostly a place for detrans people or anyone with questions about detrans related topics.
I saved your post so I can look back later if anyone responds. Sorry I can’t really answer any of your questions. What I can share though is my experience dealing with gynecomastia after stopping hormones. My endocrinologist strongly suggested waiting to see if the testosterone my body produces will change anything regarding breast size. It’s been around 7-8 months and I’ve seen no changes. I did see a plastic surgeon about my gynecomastia and he suggested that because my breasts were pretty developed, an inverted T incision would be my best option and it would leave scarring. I have a checkup with that surgeon in the fall. Hope everything goes well for you.
It was definitely rushed, like you said. I think mine was about two or three visits to the psychiatrist where I talked a little about my life and why I wanted to transition at the time. Other things weren’t really explored but I did get diagnosed with dysthymia. I went to therapy a few times but it wasn’t really for me. My therapist was cool and tried to give me some resources though.
Sometimes I think about transitioning again, but those are just fantasies. I’m not equipped enough to handle all the problems that come along with transitioning.
The surgery/suicide thing is something I haven’t really looked into. I know a lot of mtf trans people are unhappy with it but I never really looked into statistics. That kind of stuff always seemed a bit more like autogynephelia to me.
Did you ever explore more into your gender identity? What made you want to ask?