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Reddit user /u/vegadue's Detransition Story

Detransitioned: 17
female
took hormones
regrets transitioning
depression
got top surgery
body dysmorphia
retransition
anxiety
autistic
eating disorder
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.

The comments show a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally complex personal narrative. The user discusses specific medical details (acne, facial hair changes, tapering off T), psychological struggles (eating disorders, autism, social anxiety), and a believable evolution in their beliefs (from transmedicalist to critic). The writing style is natural, with personal anecdotes and emotional resonance that are difficult to fabricate consistently.

About me

I'm an autistic female who transitioned because I never fit in with other girls and mistook my social struggles for a problem with being female. I found validation in online trans communities and started testosterone at 15, but the initial euphoria faded into apathy. I realized my intense dysphoria was actually a symptom of my autism and other trauma I was trying to escape. I stopped testosterone and told my family, which was a huge relief, but now I'm struggling with an eating disorder and the return of my underlying issues. I'm living as a woman again and in therapy, learning to separate my body from the pain I was running from.

My detransition story

My whole journey with transition and detransition was a lot more complicated than I ever thought it would be. Looking back, a lot of my feelings were tangled up with other issues I didn't understand at the time.

I think a huge part of why I transitioned in the first place was because I'm autistic. I never felt like I fit in with other girls. I was nerdy and struggled to understand when people were making fun of me, which happened a lot. I felt like I was doing a "bad job of being a girl," and I started to hate my female body because of it. The bullying and social rejection felt like they were targeted at me because I was a girl, so I started to believe the problem was my sex itself. I also had sensory issues, especially with bras; they were so uncomfortable, and that physical discomfort got mixed up with the social discomfort.

This led me to online trans communities, where I found a lot of support. At first, it felt amazing to have that community. But I ended up falling into transmedicalist, or "truscum," ideology. I latched onto it because it made me feel valid. My dysphoria felt textbook: I hated being seen as female, I was terrified of looking like a "butch lesbian" instead of a man, and I had a strong aversion to my female organs. The transmedicalist idea that you need severe dysphoria to be trans made me feel like my case was clear-cut. I now see I used that ideology to reassure myself and to push away the terrifying thought that I might ever detransition. It created a confirmation bias where I only looked for things that reinforced I was trans.

I started testosterone when I was 15. For about two years, I was euphoric about the changes. But then, around the six-month mark before I stopped, things shifted. I started to feel apathetic. Taking T became just a routine, and I began to have negative feelings about it. The realisation that it wasn't right for me felt like it came out of nowhere. Suddenly, my intense dysphoria about my body shape, my hands, my hips—it all just vanished and morphed into a different kind of anxiety: "What will people think if I change back?"

Telling my family I was detransitioning was terrifying. I was closest with my mum. I just knocked on her door and forced the words out, telling her I didn't think being a man or taking T or having had top surgery was right for me anymore. I ended up crying and we hugged, and it was a huge weight off my shoulders. After that, telling other people got easier.

Since detransitioning, I've struggled a lot. Going off T cold turkey was rough; my provider never told me I should taper off, and my appetite dropped significantly, which made my eating disorder worse. I'm struggling with that now. I think being on T just swept my underlying issues—like sexual harassment, assault, my undiagnosed autism, and food avoidance—under the rug. Now, all those issues are back, and I also have to deal with being seen as a woman again. I get pangs of wanting to escape all the horrible assumptions and sexism that get put onto women. I also feel a bit abandoned; people from the trans community seem scared to talk to me now, and at college, I feel very alone.

I've kept my chosen name because it's gender-neutral and I feel uncomfortable with my birth name. My body image is still a struggle. I have a lot of anxiety about how I look, and I'm in therapy, which has been really necessary. I also have body dysmorphia; I'm obsessed with how I look, to the point where I wish I could throw away my mirror, but I'm too scared to leave the house without checking my hair or makeup. I think I might be overcompensating for the years I lived as a man.

I don't regret my transition in the sense that I needed to go through it to understand myself. But I do regret that I didn't have the support to understand my autism and other mental health issues first. My feelings about gender were a symptom of deeper problems. I don't hate my female body anymore; I know that now. The essence of my body isn't the problem. The problem was all the other stuff I was trying to escape from.

Here is a timeline of the main events:

My Age Event
15 Started taking testosterone.
15 Had top surgery.
17 Was diagnosed with autism.
17 Realised I needed to detransition and stopped testosterone.
17 Told my family I was detransitioning.
17 (Present) Living as a woman again, dealing with an eating disorder and social anxiety.

Top Comments by /u/vegadue:

11 comments • Posting since May 26, 2021
Reddit user vegadue (detrans female) explains her struggle with an eating disorder and social isolation after detransitioning, feeling abandoned by the queer community and grappling with sexism and unresolved trauma.
15 pointsOct 13, 2021
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I feel u so much on this. I’m struggling with an eating disorder now, because going on T just swept all of those issues I had causing it in the first place under the rug. Sexual harassment, assault, undiagnosed autism, food avoidance. Now I keep getting pangs of just wanting to escape all the horrible assumptions that get put onto me now as a woman. From just sexism, and from trans communities as well. I feel like all that community support was nice at the time but now it’s like ppl are scared to talk to me. Like ppl want to distance themselves as much as possible. I’m 17 so since I’m in college, now I’m just alone all the time and I can’t even be bothered to socialise now that I know that people are uncomfortable talking to me, they always have to get their friends to ask me questions and stuff. I see men and just wish I was them socially, but I don’t hate my body and I know that now. I might have ED thoughts and stuff but I don’t hate the essence of it and I’m glad I know that now. I relate to a lot of this. It’s so hard to be in this position feeling like there’s no community net to catch you because you don’t know anyone like yourself irl. I’m glad we can all share about it on here tho. It’s so helpful

Reddit user vegadue (detrans female) explains how her autism and being mocked fueled her transition, and cautions against negative stereotypes of autistic people in the community.
11 pointsDec 31, 2021
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yes I’m glad you said this because as an autistic woman, when I was younger I was not so able to pick up on when people were making fun of me, but that caught up to me as I became an older teenager and it had just as bad an impact, in fact fuelling my transition. I wouldn’t want negative stereotypes about autistic people in this community because so many of us are autistic ourselves.

Reddit user vegadue (detrans female) explains how her autism diagnosis revealed that her gender dysphoria stemmed from social rejection, sensory issues with bras, and difficulty fitting in as a nerdy girl, rather than being innate.
7 pointsNov 29, 2021
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Heya, I’m younger but I detransitioned during my autism diagnosis and since then I realised autism played a massive role in me transitioning. I really related to the bit where you say about feeling like you were doing a “bad job of being a girl” because I felt so unliked by girls and boys as a girl specifically, and was kind of bullied for being a girl in an unconventional way that I started hating my female body for it. I was always made fun of for being very nerdy, and struggled to identify when I was being made fun of until all the damage was done. Not that I knew that this was the reason for my discomfort at the time, it seemed like just innate dysphoria, but yeah I relate to that a lot. I also had sensory issues with bras, which I’ve kind of gotten used to since finding a better fit but it took a while to acclimatise to them, they can be so uncomfortable!!! Not to mention I was so used to and got some sort of comfort from binding that it was hard to stop.

I relate to pretty much everything you’ve put here, including with feelings of bodily disconnection(??) l so I’m glad (in a bit of a sad way) that I’m not alone in this. And I don’t think this is an isolated experience, as some studies I’ve seen online show a higher prevalence of autism in detransitioners. It’s so strange to talk in detrans related groups and just be able to talk freely about autism because lots of people are able to chip in because they’re ALSO autistic, which is so different from IRL where barely anyone I know is.

About therapy, maybe you could Google “iatdd”, they’re an association of therapists for detransitioners and desisters and I’ve only heard good things about them, and my experience has been really good so far too.

Reddit user vegadue (detrans female) explains how she told her mother she was detransitioning by forcing the initial words out to start a conversation, describes the emotional relief, and offers advice for others.
7 pointsMay 30, 2021
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This was me about a week and a half ago, apart from I live with both my parents. I was closest with my mum. I just knocked on the door to the room she was in and basically said something along the lines of “ok this might really surprise you.. (and then I struggled to get it out) ..but I think that the T and top surgery and living as a man isnt the right thing for me.” This is the approach I normally take because I just have to force things out, and then once it’s out, the other person will start asking questions and then I can just answer. I actually ended up crying and we hugged, so maybe expect that to happen depending on how easy it is for you to cry! But once you get the overall point out, I find that it becomes a big weight lifted off and therefore it’s easier, although still scary, to talk about the smaller details, like plans for the future, what pronouns and name you want to be called... these are all questions that might be provoked by your dad anyway. It’s how I bring on the “deeper conversation” type of convo without having to like, sit everybody down and ramp the pressure up loads. I guess it all depends on your normal communication style. If you have a therapist it might be a good idea to ask them.

I remember how TERRIFIED I was before I told people. I almost didn’t tell anybody because of it, and it was really hard. I told people online first but telling my family was still really hard, but once I got that big hurdle out of the way, even things like telling teachers and friends became a lot easier. I wish you all the best and hope it goes well if you choose to tell your dad.

Reddit user vegadue (detrans female) explains her journey from transmedicalism to detransition, describing how the ideology's "no dysphoria, no trans" rule created confirmation bias and worsened her dysphoria to feel valid.
6 pointsJan 21, 2022
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I was a massive transmedicalist before I detransitioned, then I did almost a complete u turn, then I realised my feelings of “I don’t feel any gender I just know my body is wrong I am extremely sex dysphoric and I hate being gendered as female and I’m terrified I look like a butch lesbian instead of a cis guy” which made me feel super valid as a trans guy because my dysphoria was textbook… called for much more analysis into the reason I felt that way and I eventually detransitioned. I used transmedicalist ideals to make me feel more valid and less like I could possibly detransition. Thinking of detransitioning was terrifying and I developed a lot of confirmation bias within the transmedicalist community for comfort reasons I guess. Not that I realised this at the time, I just felt I was being rational and logical. I saw no red flags at that time and I think my dysphoria got worse because I felt the need to internally manufacture it to feel valid within transmedicalist communities because being told “no dysphoria no trans” if ur kind of different doesn’t erase the problems with gender u have. Idk if any of that made sense. I do not support transmedicalist ideology anymore at all. I really dislike it.

Reddit user vegadue (detrans female) comments on shared detransition experience, explaining how body dysphoria suddenly vanished and morphed into social anxiety, warns about eating disorder risks when stopping testosterone cold turkey.
6 pointsJan 18, 2022
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I started T at 15 too, detransitioned at 17 half a year ago and I understand what you mean because my realisation was also relatively sudden and it was like with the seemingly random realisation, my thoughts and obsessions with how I looked (shape of my forearms, shape of my hips, veins on hands, shape of calves, brows, etc) changed. And yeah all of the negative feelings about my body swapped straight to “what will people think if I change back?” and understand what u mean about binding, it feels weird to change but now I’m at a point where I’m very comfortable without it. Reading what you put reminded me of me a lot.

And second what u said about all the “that’s so gender/gender envy” stuff, it became WEIRD for me to think like that when I finally realised, and uncomfortable to hear because I really just accepted that it makes no sense to me. And if generally just seemed to be grungey skinny anime men that people got gender envy about, or unrealistic tiktok ppl who probably only look like that online which felt like it was feeding into pre existing issues I had about setting unrealistic expectations for myself.

Basically I just second everything you said there and it’s nice to hear someone have a similar experience to me (in a weird way) because it’s not like I deliberated for years or anything, it almost came out of nowhere and I still can’t tell what triggered this to happen. My dysphoria (which was very traditional and everyone thought I was such a clear cut, easy to diagnose case) did literally vanish and morph into social related problems (worried about ppl seeing my chest like you mentioned).

Just be careful if you have had an ED while being trans/still have it, this happened to me and going off T cold turkey meant my appetite dropped significantly and it made it worse. I would recommend talking to your doctor because it might be in your best interests to taper/definitely have a medical professional involved. It might be fine but it’s probs best to check with them. My T provider did not bother to tell me that i should have been tapering off.

Reddit user vegadue (detrans female) explains how aversion to female gender roles, amplified by autism, became hatred of her female organs and led her to adopt truscum ideology.
3 pointsJan 21, 2022
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Most of what you wrote i definitely experienced, only I had some sort of dysphoria beforehand and then looked for explanations which lead me to truscum ideology. Unfortunately a lot of the aversion to gender roles imposed on me (female ones) due to autism became hatred of my female organs, and that overlapped heavily with the extreme incongruence and dysphoria truscum communities focus on as being a defining factor of being trans, and then yeah I got sucked into that a lot and went down the pipeline you described there.

Reddit user vegadue (detrans female) explains why she kept her gender-neutral chosen name after detransitioning, noting it feels comfortable while her birth name does not, and encourages others to try different names.
3 pointsOct 7, 2021
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After I detransitioned I still use my chosen name. It’s gender neutral and even already on the more feminine side, but like you say there, I feel very uncomfortable about my birth name, but very comfortable with my chosen name. There are loads of names and it doesn’t hurt anybody to try out however many you’d like until you find one that’s comfortable if you haven’t already.

Reddit user vegadue (detrans female) asks about skin texture changes and the thinning of facial hair (both dark and "peach fuzz") after stopping testosterone.
3 pointsMay 26, 2021
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Thank you for your reply! This is really useful, I’ll look into using the method you mentioned. I’m curious about how your skin changed, did you find it became sort of less textured? I had terrible acne on T, and I’m sort of 50/50 on whether I should expect worse or better skin.

As for facial hair, do you mean the sort of increased fluff (assuming you had that too?) or like the actual dark hair? Hahaha I hope that made sense, I’m curious about whether the hairy hair thins out or just the peachy fuzzy stuff.

Reddit user vegadue (detrans female) comments on the necessity of therapy and the struggle with appearance-based anxiety while navigating detransition.
3 pointsOct 18, 2021
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Hi, thx for your response. I am seeing a therapist and I agree it’s rlly necessary. I wish I could throw away my mirror but I’d be scared of leaving the house wish messy hair or blotched mascara, lol. Ur probably right about the womanhood thing, or maybe it’s just compensating for the past few years. Thanks for the comfort at the end :)