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Reddit user /u/ventriose's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 17 -> Detransitioned: 24
female
low self-esteem
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
depression
got top surgery
now infertile
body dysmorphia
retransition
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
sexuality changed
had religious background
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.

The user's comments are highly specific, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent. They detail a personal history (e.g., mastectomy at 19, 5 years on testosterone, current detransition steps) and describe complex, ongoing feelings of regret, physical pain, and social difficulty that are characteristic of genuine detransition experiences. The language is conversational and varies in tone, showing passion, anger, sadness, and support for others, which aligns with your note that detransitioners can be "very passionate and pissed off."

About me

My journey started as a teenager when I felt uncomfortable with my body and disconnected from womanhood. I transitioned to male, taking testosterone and having surgery, thinking it was my only way out of hating myself. I eventually realized I was just suppressing my true self and that changing my body didn't bring me happiness. I detransitioned to find peace and finally feel like myself again, though I live with deep regrets over my permanent changes. I've learned my struggle was never about truly being a man, but about escaping the painful expectations placed on women.

My detransition story

My whole journey started when I was a teenager. I was really uncomfortable with my body and my femininity. I never felt close to my mom or my sisters, so I never had anyone to show me how to be a woman or to feel beautiful. I latched onto male characters and developed strong feelings for a female friend, which just confused me more.

I started identifying as non-binary, then as a soft butch lesbian, and then at 17, I decided I was a trans man. I think a lot of it was just me trying to escape being a woman because I hated it so much. I felt so much self-hatred for being female. Within just a few months of calling myself ftm, I felt disgusted asking people to call me a man when I still looked like a girl with short hair. But I also couldn't stand being called a woman either. I felt completely stuck.

I saw taking testosterone as my only way out. I thought if I looked like a man, then I would finally deserve to be called one. I started T when I was 18 and got a double mastectomy when I was 19. I thought it would fix everything. For a while, I was happy with my flat chest when I had clothes on; I had never liked my breasts. But I was never warned about the bad side effects. I get this awful phantom pain and zapping sensation in my chest, especially when it rains. It's one of the worst parts of it all.

After about five years on testosterone, I had changed a lot. I was as masculine as I was going to get, but I still felt like a short, dorky-looking guy. It didn’t make me happy. I started to realize that my male persona was like a grave I had dug for myself. I was constantly suppressing my natural feminine side—my tendencies and interests—just to keep up this act. I felt like a complete stranger in my own skin, totally disconnected from the person I was as a child.

That’s when I knew I had to detransition. I did it to find peace with my body, with nature, and with God. I had this huge weight on my soul from realizing I had thrown away my real self for an idea of who I thought I should be. It was like I had messed with a character creator so much that I became unrecognizable.

Stopping testosterone and going back to living as a woman has been hard but worth it. I feel like myself again for the first time in years, and that feels right. But there are so many struggles. I have immense guilt over using the men's bathroom when I was transitioned, knowing I was invading their space. Now, at work, I’m in this awkward spot where the women think I’m a man because I’m still changing my name back and dealing with the aftermath.

I don’t have any breasts anymore, and that’s one of my biggest regrets. I never got to see what my fully developed feminine body would have looked like. Now that my sexuality has shifted and I want to be with a man, I feel that loss even more. It’s embarrassing because I literally begged for that surgery. To cope, I’ve started trying knitted breast prosthetics. They feel a little weird, but they help my self-image.

My thoughts on gender now are that we give it way too much power. Most people in history never thought about their "gender identity" this deeply; they just were who they were. I think my discomfort was really about hating the expectations placed on women, not about actually wanting to be a man. I just wanted freedom from those rigid rules.

I do have regrets. I regret the permanent changes, especially the mastectomy and the fact that I’m now infertile. I regret not having someone who loved me enough to question what I was doing and to tell me the truth. I don’t hate trans people, but I won’t lie about biological reality anymore. For me, accepting that reality is what finally brought me peace.

Age Event
17 Started identifying as a trans man (ftm).
18 Began taking testosterone (T).
19 Had a double mastectomy (top surgery).
24 Stopped testosterone and began detransitioning.
24 Started the process of changing my name and legal documents back.

Top Comments by /u/ventriose:

15 comments • Posting since December 23, 2024
Reddit user ventriose (detrans female) explains how questioning transgender ideology is an act of love, not hate, and expresses regret that no one intervened to prevent her own transition.
92 pointsJul 4, 2025
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Yeah tbh like once the veil is lifted you realize that a lot of "transphobia" is just people being told things they don't wanna hear. I don't hate anyone, I don't condone violence against anyone, but I won't lie anymore.

Questioning trans/not believing in it isn't hate, it is love. I wish I had anyone that loved me enough to keep me from doing what I did. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.

I'm glad you're doing what is best for your mental health and your body, OP. It is hard and sad, and a lot to process, but detrans has been worth it.

Reddit user ventriose (detrans female) discusses the pressure detransitioners face to affirm transition and the sentiment that their spaces should not have to coddle trans feelings.
70 pointsFeb 22, 2025
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i haven't been active on this sub long enough to really know, but i do know when detransitioners are mentioned AT ALL online, everyone flocks to say "just because transition wasn't right for you, doesn't mean its not right for anyone else!".

detransitioners are also bombarded with trans/trans supporting people "making sure" they aren't disapproving of any medical/social transition because of their "personal experience" or "mistake".

the sentiment is just weird. detrans spaces should not have to coddle and affirm trans feelings.

Reddit user ventriose (FTM Currently questioning gender) explains the need for more barriers to medical transition for young adults over 18, arguing the "thin veil of protection" is stripped away at that age.
38 pointsDec 23, 2024
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absolutely, agree with this 100%.

i think there need to be more barriers for adolescents over the age of 18 too. we see so many young adults aged 18 and 19 (myself included) medically transition before they can get a drink at a bar or buy cigarettes.

theres very little protection in place for gender confused kids, but once they turn 18 that already thin veil of protection is stripped entirely.

Reddit user ventriose (detrans female) explains why she is called transphobic for acknowledging biological reality, which she finds comforting as a detrans female.
33 pointsMay 9, 2025
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So true. It makes me feel crazy because I don't hate people who are trans identified, but I'm suddenly transphobic for not wanting to lie about the biological reality of the situation, when biological reality is the most comforting thing for me as a detrans female.

Reddit user ventriose (detrans female) comments that most people historically didn't analyze their gender identity, and that disagreeing with societal sex-based expectations is not the same as wanting to be the opposite sex.
17 pointsJul 4, 2025
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Exactly! Most people throughout most of human history didn't give their "gender identity" this much thought. It just simply was.

Not saying that each of the sexes have not historically had plights directly correlated to their sex. However, even if they hated the expectations society placed on their sex, it didn't mean they wanted to actually be the other sex. It was just that they wanted less rigid expectations and had grief with what was expected of them.

Reddit user ventriose (detrans female) comments on having a double mastectomy at 19, explaining she likes her flat chest when clothed but hates her scars and feels conflicted about making the decision so young.
11 pointsFeb 22, 2025
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thank you for your response! i had my double mastectomy at 19 too, and i have mixed feelings about it.

i actually really like having a flat chest when i wear clothes - i never had huge breasts to begin with though, but its a big enough difference for me to prefer it. when i'm shirtless, i hate looking at the scars. i also got my breasts removed at such a young age that i never really got to see what it would look like for all of my feminine features to come together, and i never will now. that's why i'm conflicted as to if i was old enough to make that decision.

Reddit user ventriose (detrans female) explains why detransitioned males are often viewed more harshly, citing a split between those with body image/sexuality issues and those who transitioned for a fetish, and points to high-profile trans women as the "blemishes" of the community.
11 pointsFeb 22, 2025
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i understand where you're coming from and actually agree, i think detrans males get a bad rep because of the mix of why they transition in the first place.

from what ive observed from trans identified males, its sort of a split between people with severe body image issues or sexuality struggles (which i have complete and total sympathy for) and then those who transitioned for their fetish.

also, the major "blemishes" of the trans community are trans identified males (like lily tino, dylan mulvaney, etc) so i can see that as another reason why you would be accepted harshly and held to worse standards.

Reddit user ventriose (detrans female) discusses the severe, un-warned-about phantom and zapping pain after mastectomy, especially when it rains, and reveals her approval letter was written by a trans-identified female therapist.
11 pointsFeb 22, 2025
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absolutely, i'm so sorry this happened to you. nobody talks about the pain! the phantom pain/zapping pain when it rains specifically is one of the worst side effects of the mastectomy that i was never warned about. the therapist that wrote my mastectomy approval letter was also a trans identified female...which is crazy looking back on it.

Reddit user ventriose (detrans female) comments on the desire for surgery, advising that radical acceptance of one's body is the only way to move forward.
9 pointsFeb 19, 2025
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i hope you can find some peace.

i actually do feel the same way, but we can't do that to ourselves. this line of thinking is what got us here in the first place - radical acceptance of what has happened to our bodies is the only way to move forward.

Reddit user ventriose (detrans female) explains her journey from identifying as FTM to detransitioning, describing it as a "perfect storm" of body dysmorphia, lack of female role models, and a desire to escape womanhood, ultimately realizing her male persona was a "grave I dug for myself" that suppressed her true self.
5 pointsJul 4, 2025
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I went back and forth with various trans labels in my teen years. I think this was really just because I was uncomfortable with my body/femininity. I was never close with my two sisters and my mother was never in the picture, so I had nobody to teach me how to feel beautiful. I also really latched onto male characters and had strong feelings for a female friend of mine. Sort of like the perfect storm.

When I was 17 I took the leap from "nonbinary soft butch lesbian" back to ftm. Within 3 months of making that change I was so disgusted with myself for asking people to call me a man/masculine terms while looking like a girl with short hair. However, I couldn't tolerate being called a girl/woman/she/her or any of it. I really just hated myself for being a woman and wanted to escape it.

Taking the hormones was like an ultimatum. I was going to deserve being called a man - and I did! After 5-ish years of T and a double mastectomy I had reached my final, most masculine form. But I was still a short, dorky looking "dude" with a mullet.

But it didn't bring me happiness. I started to think about my male persona being more of a grave I dug for myself than me embracing my "true self". It slowly dawned on me the ways in which I've had to suppress my feminine nature/tendencies/interests in order to continue summoning this idea of who I thought I should be. I also realized that the person I was then felt no connection to who I was as a child. I felt like a stranger walking in my own skin, even though I should've been happy.

So why did I detransition? I guess for peace with my own body, with nature, and with God. I had a lot of weight on my soul after I realized that I had tossed away my actual self for an idea of a person that I wanted to be true. It was sorta like I went overboard with character customization until I was unrecognizable.

I truly do feel like myself again, it's been so long - and it just feels right! I feel at peace even though there has been so much pain.