This story is from the comments by /u/verytiredcatto that are listed below, summarised with AI.
User Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account "verytiredcatto" exhibits strong signs of being authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's narrative is highly detailed, emotionally complex, and internally consistent over a two-month period. They describe a very personal and nuanced journey of detransitioning after six years of living as a trans woman, including:
- Specific medical details (HRT effects, laser hair removal, voice training).
- Evolving personal reflections on identity, dysphoria, and community.
- Plausible emotional struggles with self-acceptance, social relationships, and future dating prospects.
- A clear, consistent viewpoint that acknowledges the complexity of their experience without resorting to simplistic talking points.
The account's activity pattern and the depth of its engagement on a sensitive topic are characteristic of a real person processing a significant life experience, not a scripted persona.
About me
I started identifying as a trans woman at 25 after discovering the concept online, and I began taking hormones. For six years, I lived as a woman, but I eventually realized I was trying to escape my underlying issues like low self-worth and past trauma. A major turning point was when I developed a crush on a woman and realized I wanted to be her boyfriend, not her girlfriend, which made me question everything. I stopped hormones and have since found a sense of peace by accepting myself as a male. Now, I'm focused on moving forward as a more whole person, comfortable being a feminine man without needing to change my body.
My detransition story
My journey with gender started when I was around 25. I had always felt different and struggled with my self-esteem, but I didn't have what I would call dysphoria until I discovered the concept of being transgender online. Once I learned about it, it was like a switch flipped. I became obsessed with the idea that transitioning was the answer to all my problems. I now believe I had rapid-onset gender dysphoria, fueled by a lot of underlying issues like past trauma from bullying and a difficult relationship with my mom, low self-worth, and a desire to escape my life.
I lived as a trans woman for six years. I was on estrogen hormone therapy (HRT) for that entire time. The process of getting the paperwork signed for HRT was shockingly easy, which I now see as a major flaw in the system. There was no real gatekeeping or exploration of why I felt the way I did. During my transition, I did "pass" in many situations, but it required constant, exhausting effort with makeup, clothing, and voice training. I found a lot of validation in the trans community at first; it felt amazing to finally be seen and accepted. But that validation often felt hollow, like people were just telling me what I wanted to hear to be nice.
Over time, the reality of being trans set in. I realized I would never be a biological female, only a trans woman, and that is a fundamentally different experience. I started to feel numb and dead inside. I also became increasingly uncomfortable with a lot of the behavior I saw in the MTF community, which often felt sexually inappropriate and reinforced negative stereotypes about women. Dating was nearly impossible; I'm attracted to women, and the vast majority of lesbians and straight men are not interested in dating a trans woman, which is a preference based on sex, not bigotry.
A major turning point was developing a crush on a straight woman. I realized I didn't want to be her girlfriend; I wanted to be her boyfriend. This clash between my identity and my innate desires forced me to seriously question everything. Around the same time, I had a powerful experience with psychedelic mushrooms that led to what some call ego death. It helped me achieve a state of radical self-acceptance. For the first time, I could look at my male body and see it as mine, and beautiful in its own right. I realized my true issues were a lack of identity and self-love, not my sex. The dysphoria I had lived with for years just... faded.
I decided to detransition. I don't regret transitioning because it was a necessary part of my journey to become the person I am today. It taught me so much about myself and gave me a empathy for women that I never had before. But I also know now that it was a mistake for me, and if I could go back with what I know, I wouldn't do it again.
I've been off HRT for a while now. My testosterone has come back, my energy levels are higher, and my mental fog has cleared. I need to get top surgery to remove the breast tissue I developed, which I plan to do. I'm navigating life as a man again, but not the same man I was before. I'm more whole, with a much stronger sense of self. I'm comfortable being a feminine man; I don't feel the need to adopt a non-binary label just because I don't fit the masculine stereotype.
The trans community's reaction to detransitioners like me has been harsh. They often deny our experiences and call us transphobic for telling our stories, which just proves how much they fear what we have to say. I believe more people will detransition as the long-term realities of medical transition and the lack of fulfillment become clearer. My hope is that by sharing my story, I can encourage more thorough therapy and less automatic affirmation for people questioning their gender.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 25 | Started identifying as a trans woman and began estrogen HRT. |
| 25-31 | Lived socially and medically as a woman for six years. |
| 31 | Began seriously questioning my transition and started the process of detransitioning. Stopped HRT. |
| 31 | Began living socially as a man again. |
Top Reddit Comments by /u/verytiredcatto:
This person is a joke. The days of girlhood TikTok’s are beyond cringe. They’re so degrading to women, you don’t have to be anti trans to see it.
One thing that always drove me crazy about trans women, even when I was deep into my transition, is how they think they can say they’re a woman and suddenly they’ve experienced womanhood. I waited for a few years into my transition before I felt that I had enough lived experience as a woman to really understand the experience - even if the experience of a trans woman is different.
Being a woman is so much more than just wearing makeup and a dress. It’s an experience society puts on female people regardless of presentation. You can’t say you understand that just because you put some lipstick on. Trans women as a whole need to listen to cis women and take time to understand them or they’re going to keep getting pushback like this. Not that I expect them ever to, they’re all so male socialized they’re incapable of actually having an ounce of respect for women. That would take self reflection, which most seem incapable of.
We only need a few famous trans people to detransition before it starts to break out into the mainstream. I feel like a lot of the people who got caught up the trans wave in 2016 (me included) are finally hitting the point of disillusion with our transitions. We’ve tried for years and transition has just made our lives worse. We were misled. We are victims of medical malpractice.
Because anyone who disagrees with the standard trans narrative is treated as transphobic. You either agree entirely or you’re a villain. There is no middle ground for them.
They also consider us transphobic because we talk truthfully about the realities of being trans. They don’t like that we poke holes in their sunshine and rainbows lies.
When I first detransitioned, I tried to be kind to trans people when explaining I overcame dysphoria and accepted my natal body. They almost all labeled me as transphobic or a secret TERF trying to confuse trans people. Why would I care about being transphobic or not now? Unless you completely bow to their version of reality they see your very experience as an attack.
Realized I no longer had dysphoria and so there was no point in living as a trans woman anymore. I managed to get past the hatred of my male body through building up my self esteem through therapy and experiencing radical self acceptance while on a shrooms trip. I didn’t do shrooms with the intention of detransitioning but that’s what they ended up doing. The framework was already built out due to therapy, the shrooms just let me see the truth.
I started exploring radical feminist spaces over a year ago and found my own perspectives often aligning with their own. I think that’s in part allowed me to reevaluate my transition. I’m lost a lot of respect for liberal feminists lately - I had always felt something was off with them but I still considered myself a feminist. Now I understand better.
I have some photos were I think I pass, but in ones that are not carefully curated I don’t think I did. It’s weird, I have had a number of people act surprised when I mention I’m trans, but maybe they were faking it to be nice. When I saw my reflection on the subway last night I just saw a man in women’s clothing. Who did I think I was fooling?
You know what I never fail to pass as though - A MAN!
Completely. I’ve felt rather dead inside for the past few years even though I accomplished my goal of passing and living as a woman. I know this will upset some trans lurkers to hear, but the reality is you aren’t a woman, you’re a trans woman. I don’t think anybody transitions wanting to be trans, we transition because we want to be a cisgender version of the opposite sex. That’s unobtainable and after a while into transition you realize that, or make up massive copes and say that everyone else needs to confront their bias. But if you’re attracted to female sexed individuals, a trans woman probably just isn’t going to cut it for you. Only 10% of lesbians are open to dating trans women and only 3% of straight men. I don’t think they all secretly are into trans women and just have transphobia. They’re into female sexed people. End of story.
Once that reality kind of sets in you realize it’s better to just accept yourself for who you are, and to find someone who will accept you for who you are naturally. To take the approach of radical self acceptance and live life as who you are, not who you aren’t.
A few years ago I would have shouted down someone who’s saying what I am now. I get why trans people will likely hate me for saying things like this. But for me at least, this path feels like the right one.
Your club experience is definitely my experience as well. If you even talk about the challenges of transitioning, you’re shut down because everyone is so fragile you can’t possibly mention that transition isn’t all sunshine and roses.
The non-passing trans women aren’t having men buy them drinks because people think they’re pretty women. But I bet you once they did have a drink bought for them to be nice and they’re still living in that moment years later. It’s actually really weird how much some MTFs base their worth off how “hawt” they are. It really goes to show how many of them view women, as purely sex objects. Like, at least when I was a trans woman the things I was proud of were my career and community organizing.
I have a trans friend who made a video about Florida banning gender affirming care and started it by saying DeSantis wants to kill trans children. Even when I was on the trans bandwagon I found this stuff annoying, republicans motives are still altruistic. They aren’t try to kill the trans children.
As someone who didn’t struggle with suicide until I transitioned, and based on the knowledge we have that suicide is contagious, I have almost no doubts the way the trans community talks about suicide makes the situation worse for their own mental health.
When I transitioned, suicide felt like this door that opened in my mind that was always open, always there for me. I’m still fairly new to being a man again, but I feel like that door has finally been closed for good.