This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's posts display a consistent, nuanced, and deeply personal internal struggle with gender identity, dysphoria, and social constructs. The language is emotionally varied, self-reflective, and complex, which is not typical of bot behavior. The evolution of their perspective over the six-month period also adds to the authenticity. Their passion and frustration align with the genuine experiences of someone questioning their gender or desisting from a trans identity.
About me
I never felt like a girl and thought using a masculine name and pronouns was the answer to my deep discomfort with my female body. I realized I didn't want to be a man either; I just hated the rules and stereotypes forced on me as a female. My journey taught me that my feelings were tied to my experiences with female socialization, not my identity. I've learned to accept my dysphoria and just exist as a female person who expresses herself freely. Now, I know the real problem was never my body, but the rigid expectations society places on it.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started because I just never felt like I fit in with what a "girl" was supposed to be. I remember feeling from the start that being neutral or masculine felt more ‘right’ to me. I felt more at home and happy with myself when I was using a masculine name and he/him pronouns. It wasn't that I wanted to be a masculine female either; the very idea of being female, aside from my biology, felt like a construct I had no connection to whatsoever. It just didn't feel like me.
I had a deep discomfort with my body, especially the physical features that came with female puberty. I didn't just dislike them; it felt like they didn't belong to me, like they denoted something that was fundamentally wrong. It was more than just a simple dislike; it felt like my body itself was incorrect for who I am. I knew that many women might share some of these bodily dislikes, but for me, it felt different, deeper. I wanted to change my physicality because it simply didn't feel right.
At the same time, I was really struggling with the concept of gender itself. I thought gender was a dumb, stupid construct and I just wanted to ditch the labels altogether. I saw names and pronouns like clothes—just a way to express myself. I didn't feel completely right living as a man either; I just wanted to live as myself without any labels, choosing how I was addressed based on what felt comfortable. It was confusing because I felt stuck between not fitting the female mold but also not fully fitting into a male one.
A huge part of my desire to transition socially came from the rigid gender distinctions I saw everywhere. I didn't fit the "girl" mold, and I thought that if I were seen as male, people would finally allow me to have shorter hair, wear the clothes I was comfortable in, and stop forcing feminine expectations and stereotypes onto me. It felt like a way to create a margin for how I was allowed to express myself. I hated that birth sex seemed to dictate your entire lifestyle and that doing something outside of that was seen as "breaking" a rule.
Through talking with others, I started to realize that a lot of my feelings were tied to my experiences with female socialization. I needed to re-associate and acknowledge that history. I learned to stop trying to logic my way out of my dysphoria and instead just live with it and accept that it's there. I came to understand that I just exist in a female state, and I can socially conduct myself with whatever name and pronouns make me comfortable and happy. That realization—that I could just be without forcing myself into a box—made me a lot more at ease with how I present myself.
Looking back, I don't regret exploring my gender and trying to understand myself better. That period of questioning was necessary for me to get to where I am now. I don't regret my social transition because it was a tool that helped me find a way to express myself freely. My main thought on gender now is that people should just be allowed to do what they want. Let people get clothes from ALL the sections. The expectations and rules are the real problem, not our bodies or how we choose to identify.
| Age | Date | Event |
|---|---|---|
| - | 2020-01-01 | Expressed that using a masculine name and he/him pronouns felt more 'right' and made me feel more at home and happy. |
| - | 2020-01-01 | Stated a deep discomfort with female physicality, feeling it didn't belong to me and was wrong. |
| - | 2020-01-01 | Felt that neither 'female' nor 'male' labels felt right; wanted to live without labels and choose expression freely. |
| - | 2020-01-01 | Recognized that my personality leans masculine but understood that alone doesn't denote being trans. |
| - | 2020-01-01 | Began to understand my feelings were linked to female socialization and that pronouns are tools for self-expression. |
| - | 2020-01-01 | Decided to accept my dysphoria and focus on living my life, existing in a female state while socially using varied names/pronouns. |
| - | 2020-06-10 | Identified that rigid gender distinctions and stereotypes were a primary motivator for my social transition, as a way to escape enforced femininity. |
Top Comments by /u/voulezvoux99:
I don't want to be a masculine female though. That's the thing. I don't understand why I have to be. I understand that I share bodily dislikes with multituds of women, but I am not sure that they would consider it to a deep point that the parts that cause them discomfort do not belong, or denote something that feels wrong. It's hard to explain, tried my best. I don't want to be female because it does not feel like me. I mean, gender is a dumb stupid construct and all, I really just want to ditch it and choose how I am addressed and express myself as I feel comfortable and appropriate. I dislike the physical features that come with it, of course, and may change them if that is what is right for me given a good amount of time, but female is just not me. Female--aside from the biological sex, is a construct that I do not abide by nor feel any connection with whatsoever. Hope this makes sense.
This opened my eyes a bit, thanks! I was having a lot of trouble trying to logic myself out of dysphoria, and am kind of learning to live with and accept that it's there, haha. In essence, yeah, I guess it's just how I go about my life that matters, since I'm just in a certain state of being. I just exist in a female state and socially conduct myself in a varied manner of name and pronoun, which is what makes me comfortable and happy. This makes me a lot more at ease with how I present myself and go about my day.
Not even close to annoying, I really appreciate this!!
Thank you, this really resounds with my sort of experience. I do need I need to re-associate and acknowledge my experiences w/ female socialization, it's primarily why I feel this way. Pronouns ans stuff really are just self-expression and tools of assumption, I guess. Have a great 2020!
It does not feel right. To be honest, nor does living as a man either. I just want to live as myself without the labels and use names and pronouns how I so choose--they're like clothes to me--how I express myself. Is this dangerous, or wrong? (Not asking this passive-aggressively: genuinely curious). I also answered with different explanations in other responses--this sort of thing is difficult to put into words for me, since gender is so, pardon the informal wording, fucking wack.
Absolutely! The gender distinctions for all sorts of minuscule things like clothing and personality were part of what made me feel the need to transition myself--I didnt fit the "girl" mold. I thought girls could do this, boys could do that, and that was the end of it for far too long. At least as a male, someone would maybe allow me to get my hair shorter and clothes I was comfortable in and stop forcing expectations of femininity and stereotypes onto me. It was a way to add a margin to how I was allowed to express myself.
Part of the evil of those separations, too, is that the expectations have to be "broken", insinuating that they were there in the first place and that a person of a certain sex doing something is atypical and something to draw attention to. I'll always curse the name of those who decided that birth sex dictated lifestyle. Let people do what they want!! And let me get clothes from ALL the sections.
[Small addition]: being neutral/masculine feels more 'right' to me. I feel more at home and happy with myself when I'm using a masculine name and he/him pronouns. Wondering if this is a red flag or something too--when I explained this, apparently it wasn't enough of an explanation to identify that way.
That's where it gets complicated. It's a weird combination. I consider my personality leaning towards the masculine side (I know that alone does not denote trans). I know I dislike the female physicality I bear, not only because it means female, but because it doesn't feel right and I'd simply rather look the other way. It's like a preference of paintbrush or canvas color to me in a way. Apologies if this is unclear, I've answered this in various ways above if that helps.