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The user provides highly specific, personal, and consistent medical and emotional details about starting testosterone at 13-14, detransitioning a year later, and the ongoing physical and psychological effects. The language is nuanced, emotionally resonant, and offers supportive, first-hand advice—all of which is consistent with a genuine detransitioner's experience.
About me
I started identifying as male at 12 and was on puberty blockers and testosterone by 14. I realized it was a mistake and stopped after a year, but I’m now dealing with lasting health issues and worry about infertility. I worked hard with a specialist to retrain my voice, which is now feminine again. I’ve learned that my personality isn't defined by gender and that I could always have just been myself as a woman. While I have regrets about the permanent changes, I’ve found peace and a stronger sense of self.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and detransition was a very difficult and confusing time in my life. I started identifying as a boy when I was 12 years old. I was put on Lupron, which are puberty blocker injections, and then I started a full dose of testosterone shots right before I turned 14. I was on testosterone for about a year, from age 14 to 15.
Looking back, I think a lot of my feelings were tied to puberty discomfort. I hated the changes that were happening to my body as a girl, especially developing breasts. I felt a lot of anxiety and I think I had some internalized ideas about what it meant to be a woman. I believed that to be accepted or to be myself, I had to escape being a girl. I don't think I had a true understanding of what being transgender meant long-term; it felt more like a solution to the deep unhappiness and low self-esteem I was feeling.
The medical process happened very fast. I remember feeling hurt and repulsed later on by how I was treated by doctors and my parents, like I had been slipped through the cracks. They approved everything so quickly for someone so young. After about a year on testosterone, I realized it was a mistake. I stopped the hormones when I was 15 and began to detransition.
The months after I detransitioned were devastating. I felt so much regret and pain over what I had done to my body. One of my biggest ongoing struggles has been with my health. I still haven't gotten my period to be even remotely regular, and I worry that I may have been made infertile. I'm working with gynecologists and endocrinologists, but it's been two years and things still aren't right.
My voice had dropped very deeply on testosterone, to the point where I sounded like an average teenage boy. This caused me a lot of distress. I did several months of voice training with a professional who works with transgender women, over Zoom. It was incredibly helpful. After about three months, my voice pitch was completely feminine again. I learned how to speak from my mouth instead of my chest. Now, at 17, my voice is indistinguishable from any other woman's. I can still make it deep if I try, but my natural speaking voice is female.
My thoughts on gender have completely changed. I never felt dysphoria about being seen as male when I was living as one, but I ended up feeling like it was a mistake. I realized I could have still been myself as a woman. The dysphoria I felt about being feminine completely subsided a few months after I went off testosterone. I’ve realized that my personality is just my personality—I have masculine aspects, but that doesn't make me male. Gender is really not as serious as we make it seem. How I was born doesn't have to dictate how I act or look. Detaching from that pressure and just being me was really comforting.
I do have regrets about transitioning. I regret the permanent changes to my body and the health complications I'm now dealing with. I feel like I lost a part of my teenage years to something that wasn't right for me. But I don't regret the understanding it gave me. I have a much better understanding of myself as a person and as a woman now. I walked away from this knowing that my value isn't tied to my gender.
Here is a timeline of my journey:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 12 | Began identifying as male and socially transitioning. |
| 13 | Started Lupron (puberty blocker) injections. |
| 14 | Began a full weekly dose of testosterone. |
| 15 | Stopped testosterone and began to detransition. |
| 15 | Began professional voice training to feminize my voice. |
| 15-17 | Ongoing health issues, including irregular periods and possible infertility. Worked with gynecologists and endocrinologists. |
| 17 | Now living happily, seen as a female, with a fully feminine voice and a new perspective on gender. |
Top Comments by /u/weary-doves:
yes i started at 14 on lupron injections every 3 months and testosterone shots weekly ( i don’t remember the exact dose i took, it was less than what they give to an adult. ) and yes, i have a gyno and endo that i’m working with to get a scan soon but the only advice ive gotten is to keep trying provera tests every few months.
i was in the same situation but a lot younger than you are, i just want to say about voice therapy- i was on testosterone at 14 and 15 and am now two years off and 17, my voice had dropped to that of the average teenage male’s and was very deep, i really didn’t think i would ever be able to lighten it, but i took voice lessons over zoom from a specialist that worked with mtf people looking to change their voices. it only took about 2-3 months until you could honestly never tell i was even on t, pitch wise. my voice sounds very feminine and has no lasting undertones from testosterone now, because i’ve learned how to speak more from my mouth than my chest, your vocal patterns will adjust. i can still speak as deeply as i used to if i want to, but i have complete control over my vocal range and it rests in a female range now, just want you to know there’s hope there and nothing can hinder you from doing what you feel is right. there are so many free resources out there that will teach you the same thing a voice trainer will, youtube has so many lessons for it.
i went through the same thing, except started t at 13 full dose by 14, then detransed a year later. i’m turning 17 soon and looking back on the months after i detransed, i remember feeling so devastated and regretful and hurt. hurt and repulsed by the ways i was treated by doctors and parents, that i’d been slipped through the cracks like that. i’m so sorry you’ve been through something so traumatic, but i promise you didn’t lose your girlhood, you just went through something as a girl that you shouldn’t of been put through. it takes nothing away from you, and i promise you can walk away from this experience in the future with a better understanding of yourself as a person and as a woman. i completely agree with you, and sometimes it breaks me down as well, it’s been two years now and i still haven’t gotten my period to be even remotely regular, i may as well have been made infertile for all i know. i really wish you the best, my dms are always open if you need support
i felt the same way, although the other way around as i transitioned to male at 12 and was put on lupron and t right before i turned 14. im now detransitioned at 17 and living happily seen as a girl, i think the lines are not as concrete as they seem, because my personality didn’t really change much as i detransitioned besides becoming more comfortable with myself. i never felt dysphoria over being seen as male when i was presenting as male, but i did end up feeling like it was a mistake in a way and i could have still been myself as a woman. i experienced dysphoria over being seen as feminine constantly during that time, but it subsided a few months after i went off t. id still say my personality is rather masculine, or at least i have many masculine aspects to my personality, but i’ve realized now that that doesn’t make me male in itself, but that’s just my experience. i think, whether trans or cis, it’s important to recognize that at the end of the day, gender is really not as serious as we make it seem, in my case how i felt about it when i detransitioned was that it was simply just how i was born, my gender has no marker on how i must act or be or look, so it was really comforting for me to just detach from how much importance i put on how i’m perceived. no matter what you do in the future, you still have intrinsic value to your soul and who you are no matter what you look like. i’m sorry you’re going through this, i really hope you can find peace soon no matter what direction you decide to take. if you ever need support or want to ask me questions about my own experience my dms are always open
honestly i did a few months of voice training with a professional voice trainer who works with mtf individuals via zoom when i initially went off hrt, i had a very deep voice after 11 months on hrt but at this point (2yrs later) my voice is indistinguishable from any other woman’s. it’s truly just about where you’re directing your voice from, which vocal therapy helps you adjust. i still have the capability to speak in a very masculine tone if i wish to (i don’t) and struggle to sing higher notes + my voice when yelling can get quite a bit deeper, but it was definitely the right move and helped solve a lot of that discomfort for me. i know there are a lot of free resources on youtube for it, but if you have the money and time to work with a vocal trainer, i’d highly highly recommend it