This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's comments are highly personal, emotionally nuanced, and internally consistent over time. They describe a specific, complex detransition journey (FTMTF), including detailed physical and psychological experiences (e.g., specific hormone doses, IUD use, surgical regret, the process of social detransition). The language is natural, with varied sentence structure and personal reflections that are difficult to fabricate consistently. The passion and criticism of medical practices align with known perspectives within the detrans community.
About me
I'm a woman who once identified as a trans man for several years. I took testosterone and had my breasts removed, a decision I now deeply regret as a form of mutilation. After stopping hormones, my body, including my menstrual cycle, eventually returned to its natural balance. I now believe my gender confusion was something I could have worked through without medical intervention. While I live with the physical scars, my perspective has changed and my dysphoria has faded.
My detransition story
My journey with gender was a long and complicated one, and looking back, I see now that a lot of my feelings were misunderstood. For a long time, I identified as bisexual and then later as a trans man. I think I confused my feelings about sexuality with feelings about my gender. I found women beautiful and could imagine a life with one, but the idea of being intimate in that way always felt foggy and unappealing. It took me a long time to realize that I might just be a straight woman. My body’s natural desires, like the feeling of wanting to be pregnant even when my mind didn't, showed me how strong biology really is.
I took testosterone for several years and eventually had top surgery, a double mastectomy. I remember being unsure right before the surgery, but I went through with it anyway. I consider that one of the worst decisions I ever made. It was like mutilating my perfectly healthy body for a feeling that, in the end, was all in my mind. I’ve since had a reconstruction, but my chest is covered in huge, awful scars that I never want anyone to see. I still struggle to feel okay with my body every single day.
Living as a man was a strange experience. Because I was short and perceived as young or gay, I was treated differently than other men. In a way, I became invisible, which was hard. But living as a woman has its own difficulties; I now fear for my safety walking down the street in a way I never did before. The difficulties are just different.
After I stopped testosterone, the first few weeks were the hardest. I just had to let my body find its balance again. My period took a little while to come back, but it did. Your body can heal. When I decided to detransition, I just told everyone. Some people were weirded out, but they got over it pretty quickly. I learned not to even use the word "detransition"; I just say I was on hormones for a while and it affected me in certain ways. That’s easier for people to understand.
My perspective on gender has completely changed. I don’t believe there’s such a thing as “trans or not trans.” There are just people who try to treat their dysphoria with transition, and people like me, who it didn’t work for. Gender dysphoria is something that can be worked through and overcome without hormones or surgery. I really believe in non-gender affirming therapy, where you honestly examine where those feelings are coming from. Gender is an arbitrary concept, and once I realized that, my dysphoria started to fade. I had removed healthy organs for no real reason.
I do feel anger and pain about what I did to my body, and I feel like I survived a near-death experience. It’s not entirely my fault, though. I made those choices, but I wasn’t in a healthy state of mind. The medical community shares some blame for pushing affirmation-only treatment without enough investigation into whether it’s truly the right path. If you’re having second thoughts, listen to them. Your body is trying to tell you something. You can always have surgery later, but you can never take it back.
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Late Teens | Identified as bisexual, but felt confusion about intimacy with women. |
| Early 20s | Started identifying as a trans man and began taking testosterone. |
| Mid 20s | Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy). Felt unsure beforehand. |
| Mid 20s | Stopped testosterone. The first few weeks were very difficult. |
| Mid 20s | Told everyone I was detransitioning. My period returned after about a month and a half. |
| Now (Late 20s?) | Living as a woman again. Had chest reconstruction surgery but struggle with the scars. My view is that gender is an arbitrary concept and my dysphoria has lessened. |
Top Comments by /u/wearydoves:
There is no trans or not trans. Just people who treat gender dysphoria / feelings with transition and those (like me and many others) that it didn’t work for. Transition isn’t the only option to help your feelings, despite what the internet might tell you.
No, it is not all your fault. While I do think it’s important to acknowledge the choices we’ve made to lead us here and they we did play a part in it, I don’t believe you can entirely take the blame. Affirmation only treatment and the ease of availability of hormones etc. is also at fault. There’s a true lack of investigation within the medical community as with regards to if it’s TRULY the right decision for someone (if you can say it is for anyone.) Just because you made the choice doesn’t mean you did so from a healthy or healed state of mind, and it doesn’t mean others weren’t complicit in it. Of course, the narrative that’s pushed is that it’s all the detransitioners fault and that we’re such a tiny minority - but it’s becoming more and more clear that that’s not the case. Anyway, I feel your anger and your pain, especially the bit about surviving a near death experience. Only time can heal this.
The first few weeks off of cross sex hormones are by far the worst. I can’t tell you what the best thing to do for you personally, but I would encourage you to give your body more time to return to equilibrium before you make a decision. You might be surprised at how good you can feel with your natural self.
If you are having second thoughts, don’t do it. Your body is trying to tell you something. There’s really no reason to remove perfectly functioning body parts. I would seriously encourage you to examine the reasons why you feel the need to have a double mastectomy. You can ALWAYS have surgery later, but you can never take it back. A double mastectomy was one of the worst decisions I ever made in transition, and I considered it for years.
The first month off of t I just chilled and let my body do it’s thing, lived as a dude for that time. Then I just literally told everyone I was detransitioning. You can live however you want, do whatever you want. You’re still a woman regardless. Feel free to dm me.
Not in your shoes (FTMTF) but honestly it’s been better than I thought. People are definitely a little weirded out at first, but they seem to get over it pretty fast. Some folks will probably reject you for it. At this point I don’t even mention the word detransition - I just say I was on hormones for a while and it effected me x y z ways. It’s easier for people to understand. Honestly, it won’t be that big of a deal to the right person.
I think life is different for trans men than it is for cis men. There’s a lot that’s not the same - besides the obvious. I think a lot of detrans women (including myself) were treated differently from other ‘men’ because of physical factors - being short, being perceived as gay, being perceived as being very young - etc. Being your every day guy does make you completely invisible in some senses. It was hard. But I wouldn’t say being a woman is easier by any means. It’s just difficult in different ways. As a woman - I fear for my life on the street, and am constantly heckled. As a man, I was invisible to everyone. It’s a pretty complex thing IMO, and probably is unique to someone’s personal experience, how well they passed, etc. Edited to add that on an objective level, things are obviously more difficult for women as far as healthcare, wages, rape, abuse, etc.
Because I realized there was no reason, in the end, to do such a thing. Gender is an arbitrary concept that is entirely in the mind. It was self mutilation that caused years of unnecessary pain. It’s also important to note that you will not have a “male” chest - you just look like a woman who’s had a double mastectomy, which is what it is. Once I realized that I had no reason to worry about gender because it doesn’t truly matter in life, my dysphoria has become rarer and rarer. All I had done was remove healthy organs from my body, in the end. That’s the long and short of it. I’ve since had a reconstruction, but I never show anyone my chest because the scars are so awful. Edited to add I am still working on reconciling with my body and struggle every day. I don’t know if I will ever truly feel ok with it.
It was mutilating my body unnecessarily. I have huge scars. My body was healthy and functioning, fine just as it was. There was no need for me to change anything, I only “felt” something was wrong. I was unsure when I went into surgery and a few days before.
Gender dysphoria is something that can be worked through and overcome without hormones or surgery! If you have the resources, I would suggest looking into non-gender affirming therapy. It may also be pertinent to spend some time alone with yourself and really examine where these feelings are coming from - openly and honestly.