We don't treat depression with one magic cure all. Some people need pills (of which there are many different kinds), some people need a lot of therapy, some people simply need a lifestyle change.

I see treating dysphoria as the same. I tried transition, it didn't work, so now I'm trying therapy and it's working a lot better for my gender dysphoria. Some people need more than therapy, some people need hrt. That's fine.

Ironically enough it's usually the "transmedicalists" that have such a rigid view of treating dysphoria. The other subsets of trans people don't seem to object when I say "I once was trans, now I'm not." Because in my view trans just means you transitioned or call/once called yourself another gender.

Lol no you're not trans

Before I transitioned, there were some things about my female body that I secretly liked, and it made me pause for a bit, but ultimately I transitioned anyways. I probably shouldn't have ignored those signs.

Also I completely admit that I am autoandrophilic and have been since I was 13. It wasnt a result of yaoi or anything, I have no idea why i'm like this, it hasn't gone away and it probably won't as it showed up that young and solidified itself into my sexuality completely. Transitioning didnt help me feel more comfortable with that, it made me feel worse to just completely dissassociate with my body. I felt a lot of shame and I think I partially thought of transition as a way of "fixing" myself. It didn't help. What finally helped me get over the shame was just accepting that my sex is female, and I have AAP, and that really isn't a bad thing, I've come to realize. I can just be woman who has AAP and that's fine, because it isn't hurting anyone. In fact, repressing it I think is what caused me to transition because the desire to be male in a sexual way was being repressed, so that desire to be male grew outwards in other ways. Of course, there are a lot of reasons I transitioned but I do think that not acknowledging my fetish was one of those reasons, I didn't intentionally transition because of AAP though as i wasnt even aware it was a thing. You're very aware of your AGP, and I'm here to say that transition just isn't going to help you with it.

Even when I was an ftm I completely understood that many (most) gay men didn't want pussy and I was completely respectful of it. I only wanted to be with people that actually wanted to be with me and didnt feel forced to for progressiveness. So fucking stupid

So, can you name a "male version" of hot goth chick? I cannot, honestly.

Lol, I absolutely can. Goth subculture is known for breeding androgyny. Most hot goth chick mtfs absolutely could stop taking hrt and make for very hot androgynous goth dudes. Literally could even keep the long hair and makeup but still be men. I'm not saying they should, but there's a lot more possibility than you think.

What gets me about "your experience isn't the typical one" it absolutely was! Up until I detransitioned! Go into any ftm sub and ask about their gender dysphoria and how they experience it. I experienced all the same exact things. I had a textbook trans experience until detransitioned. Which means any currently trans person right now may or may not detransition in future- we genuinely have no way of knowing.

So I get what you mean by feeling like you are a boy inside... people mock us for saying things like this but it's a real feeling.

Thing is, I don't think anyone actually has a "true gender" that's waiting to be unleashed inside. I think gender is as real as money and language. If you were raised by wolves, you wouldn't know what a man or a woman is, nor would you know what English or Spanish is, or a dollar or a yen. You'd simply exist as you are, in the body you have, without question. That isn't to say any of these things aren't real, but they only exist in the context of human civilization. Humans tend to hold on to concepts that aren't tangible and it can tend to cause a lot of confusion when it comes to our identities.

I think you need to get "I'm a boy inside" out of your head- respectfully. I support and respect trans people, and I get that "I feel like a man/woman inside" was a quick way to get cis people to shut up, but I personally think it's harmful more than it is helpful. As I said before I do not believe in the concept of true, innate inner gender. You are either one sex or the other, or rarely a mix of both, and that can't change. But it doesn't mean shit. Present however you want. If you want to take testosterone and present as though you were of the male sex, that's fine too, as long as you are aware of the risks, but it seems you want to give living as your birth gender a proper chance, so all I can say is at the end of the day, you shouldn't let gender or sex define you.

When I see someone say "I'm a man/woman inside", I hear "i don't mix with my sex's expected gender roles, I don't fit with what society tells me a man or a woman should be". To think a man or a woman has to think, act, and dress a certain way is regressive.

I know you say you're aware that women can be masculine. I was aware too, I still transitioned. We can be conscious of this but not entirely self aware of how it's damaged us, how we've ingrained it from such a young age that it warps our view of ourselves even years later.

Well it's your choice but... I personally cannot fathom why anyone would alter their body in such an extreme way unless they genuinely couldn't come to terms with their body as it is naturally.

Being trans and taking hrt isn't all shits and giggles... otherwise many of us wouldn't be here in this sub. People talk about euphoria and skirt go spinny but never "my body parts that rely on my body's native hormones have atrophied".

Which is why I think it's dangerous to not talk about the full range of side effects. It's not transphobic, it's to make sure people are fully aware.

I was like you where I had gender dysphoria at the young age, I buried and repressed these feelings, then a trauma occurred and I took the gender feelings and ran with them because I wanted to dissassociate from the person who had the hurt happen to them and not think too deeply about the hurt that happened, just wanted to chase the euphoria of my childhood dream of being a boy. Well, the euphoria wears off eventually and then you realize that what you really needed was something else entirely and that you didn't need to alter your body.

I know plenty of men who are not stoic, who are not macho or masculine, who allow themselves to express their emotions openly, and they lead very happy lives. I would much rather be around a man who is open about who he is, than a guy who is clearly putting on a fake performance of masculinity. Seriously, you can smell that shit from a mile away. People will actually want to be around you if you are confident in yourself and who you are.

My parents did not support me and the feelings still festered over time. Their lack of support, acting like I was completely stupid and delusional only made me feel more alone and lost and confused.

Of course I turned to the trans community, they shouldn't be surprised that I did, since they were the only ones who didn't immediately tell me how wrong and stupid I was for feeling the way I felt.

I say this because there's no guarantee you wouldn't have transitioned anyways if your parents hadn't supported you.

While I do understand the epidemic of "male loneliness" and that men have their own problems exclusive to their sex, I honestly believe that everybody is feeling lonelier right now due to multiple factors.

I've always had at least a couple friends throughout my life, yet still have an unexplicable feeling of loneliness despite having friends. I've felt this way pre, during, and post transition.