This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or a bad-faith actor. The user shares highly specific, personal, and medically detailed experiences (e.g., vaginal atrophy, HRT effects, OBGYN treatments) that are consistent with a genuine detransitioner's journey. The emotional tone—conflicted, cautious, and focused on practical social and medical concerns—is nuanced and human. The account expresses a common detransitioner sentiment: stopping hormones for medical reasons while being ambivalent about social re-identification.
About me
I started testosterone at 16 because my discomfort with puberty and internalized homophobia made me think my masculine, lesbian self couldn't be a woman. The testosterone caused me severe vaginal atrophy, and the pain became so bad I had to stop for my health. Stopping treatment made me rethink everything, and I'm now trying to accept that I will live as a woman again. I'm still the same butch lesbian I've always been, and I'm taking this detransition one day at a time. Right now, I'm just focused on healing physically and getting through grad school.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition started when I was really young. I was a teenager, about 16, and I was a very athletic kid, always playing soccer and wearing baggy clothes. I think looking back, I had a lot of discomfort with puberty, but it was mixed up with a lot of other things. I had a pretty sexist upbringing, and I realize now that I had a lot of internalized homophobia. I’m a lesbian, and back then I thought that because I was so masculine and liked women so much, I couldn't possibly be a woman myself. That seems like a weird thought now, but it made sense to me at the time.
I started taking testosterone when I was young, and for a while, it was okay. My voice dropped and I grew a beard, and I never really had a problem passing as a man. People just sometimes thought I was younger than I was. But the medical side of things became a real problem. I developed severe vaginal atrophy from the testosterone. It got to the point some days where I couldn’t sit down or wear pants because the pain was so bad. I’ve been working with a great OBGYN, trying different creams and medications, but there’s only so much they can do. I finally had to make the decision that HRT just wasn’t worth the physical pain anymore.
Stopping testosterone was a medical necessity, but it’s made me rethink everything. The fact that the idea of living as a woman again doesn’t bother me too much is actually kind of upsetting, because it makes me feel like I made a huge mistake. But I’m trying not to be too hard on myself. I’m taking it one day at a time. Right now, I’m just focusing on stopping T for my health, and accepting that one day down the road, I’ll be okay living as a woman again.
I don’t really have regrets, but I do see things more clearly now. I never really cared about pronouns, which was probably a red flag I ignored. I’m still the same person I’ve always been, whether people see me as a man or a woman. I’m butch, I’m a lesbian, and that’s who I am. I didn’t change my personality when I transitioned, and I don’t plan to change it when I detransition. I’m thinking that after I finish grad school and get a job, I’ll do a soft detransition. I’m not ready to tell my friends yet. I’m an international student in America, and my main friend group is a bunch of guys from all over the world. We bonded over soccer, and trans issues never come up. I have no idea how they’d react, and right now, I’d just prefer to have friends while I’m here.
As for my body, I’m hoping the pain from the atrophy will get better now that I’ve stopped T. I’m back on estrogen cream to help things heal. I’m going to keep my beard for now because I like it, and I’m not too worried about how I’ll look. I’m older now, so I won’t look like an overgrown kid like I did at 16. At the end of the day, I am what I am. I’ve started this journey of stopping hormones, and for now, that’s enough for me.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 16 | Started testosterone. |
| Mid-20s (Current) | Developed severe vaginal atrophy from testosterone, causing significant pain. Made the decision to stop testosterone for medical reasons. Began the process of detransition, focusing on healing and accepting living as a woman in the future. |
Top Comments by /u/whelpwhoknows:
That’s a great resource, thanks! I do work out but it’s a lot of cardio from playing sports. I met the friends I have in my department through intramural soccer. They’re good guys, I just genuinely have no idea how they’ll react.
We’re all international students at an American school, which is part of how we bonded. In my main friend group, two guys are from China, one is from India, one is from Colombia, one is from Turkey, and one is from Lebanon. Trans issues never come up. I have no idea how they’d react. Maybe they’d be totally fine with it. I’d just prefer to have friends while I’m here. The one thing I do know is that they are going to be pissed at my soccer performance this fall lol.
Thank you, it’s pretty awful. Some days I feel like I can’t sit or wear pants. That’s when I knew it was time to just stop. I’ve been working with a fantastic obgyn, but there’s only so many topical compounded creams and medications she can prescribe. HRT just wasn’t worth the pain. And I transitioned so young, maybe I’ll be okay living life as a woman. I honestly have no idea. The fact that the thought of it doesn’t bother me too much is… kind of upsetting. Like I made a huge mistake. But that’s something I’ll unpack later.
And thanks for the reassurance. I’m just not quite ready to make that leap yet.
I did have normal female puberty. I think I was always pretty… rectangular? I always wore these ugly soccer shorts and baggy T-shirt’s so it’s hard to see what my body looked like. I was pretty athletic and I’m still very active so I think that influenced my body type. But it’s been a decade since then, and I have to imagine my body would be shaped differently now than it was when I was 16.
That’s a fair point. I guess whatever my body does, I’ll blame it on stress eating lol.
I’ve got a good beard so I’ll make sure to keep it. The baby face is what worries me. People generally assumed I was younger than I was in the early days because of my baby face, so I was overthinking the baby face-to-come with the beard tacked on and if I would just start falling into uncanny valley.
Tbh no one is probably paying that much attention. Also, I’m older now. I’m not going to look like an overgrown 12 year old like I did when I was 16 lol. Maybe I’ll just look like an overgrown 16 year old now haha.
Thanks for sharing your experience btw.
You are absolutely right. I didn’t change much about myself when I transitioned, and I don’t really intend to when I detransition. Man or woman, this is pretty much always who I’ve been. I’m also butch, and a lesbian at that I guess. Feels weird to say! But yup. I’m thinking after grad school and getting a job in industry, I’ll just do a soft detransiton. I really never cared about pronouns (probably another red flag). I just thought I was too masculine and that I liked women to much to… be a woman. Shit’s weird looking back on it. I had a sexist upbringing and I wasn’t above that.
Right now the only thing I can mentally handle is knowing that I’m stopping T for medical reasons and one day down the road I’m okay with living as a woman again.
Yeah, this is it exactly. I can’t just jump right into right now. Baby steps. One day at a time. I’m trying to focus on the good (atrophy improving) and come up with solutions for the bad (fear of social repercussions). But at the end of the day, I don’t hate the idea of being a woman. I don’t hate the idea of being a man either, but I don’t want to be exhausted all the time worrying about whether or not I pass. For now I’m just whatever. I am what I am, I’ve started that journey, and that’s enough for me.
Thanks for sharing your experience. I can fully relate to your username lol. I do pass and I never really had an issue with it once my voice dropped. Mostly just people assuming I’m younger than I am up until my beard grew in at full force.
Out of curiosity… did things get better with the gyno pain after you stopped T? I know I have to be patient and heal, but I’m hoping after a year or so things might get a little better. I’m back on estrogen cream and some other meds to speed along the process.