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Reddit user /u/whoisgayergay's Detransition Story

Detransitioned: 27
female
low self-esteem
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
escapism
depression
influenced online
influenced by friends
got top surgery
serious health complications
now infertile
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
anxiety
benefited from non-affirming therapy
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic.

There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The language is natural, empathetic, and offers nuanced, personal advice consistent with a desister or detransitioner's perspective. The user acknowledges their own limited expertise ("Im some stranger on the internet") and encourages consulting doctors, which adds to their credibility.

About me

I started my transition as a teenager because I was deeply uncomfortable with my developing female body and thought becoming a man would fix my depression and anxiety. I took testosterone and had top surgery in my early twenties, influenced by what I saw online. After several years, I realized the hormones were causing health problems and that my real issues were my poor self-esteem and a desire to escape myself. I stopped everything in my late twenties and now live as a female again, though I have to cope with permanent changes like infertility. I'm in my thirties now, finally learning to accept my body and understanding that being a woman doesn't require a specific look.

My detransition story

My whole journey with transition started when I was a teenager. I was deeply uncomfortable with my body, especially when I went through puberty and developed breasts. I hated them; they felt completely foreign and wrong on me. I had a lot of anxiety and very low self-esteem, and I now see that a lot of my feelings were tied to that and to a deep-seated discomfort with the changes happening to me, rather than a true identity issue. I also struggled with depression and used escapism to cope, spending a huge amount of time online.

I started identifying as non-binary first, and then later as a trans man. I was definitely influenced by what I saw online and by friends in my social circle who were also exploring similar identities. It felt like the solution to all my problems. I started taking testosterone when I was 19. I saw it as a way to finally fix what felt so broken. I ended up getting top surgery a couple of years later.

For a while, I thought it was the right path. But the changes from testosterone were more severe than I’d anticipated. I started losing my hair and began to have other health issues. I started to realize that taking synthetic hormones wasn't the same as having a natural male endocrine system, and my body was reacting poorly. I began to understand that there is so much more to life as a female than trying to pretend to be a man.

I started to detransition in my late twenties. Getting off testosterone was a big step. I began to see that a lot of my drive to transition came from a place of internalized issues—my depression, my anxiety, my hatred of my own body, and a desire to escape from myself. I’ve come to believe that appearance isn't gender. There are plenty of women who are flat-chested or who have facial hair. Being a woman doesn't have one specific look.

I do have some regrets, specifically about the permanent changes and the health complications. I’m now infertile, which is a difficult reality to live with. I regret that the medical professionals I saw were so quick to offer surgery and hormones instead of suggesting other options or helping me work through my underlying mental health struggles. I think non-affirming therapy that addressed my self-esteem and body issues would have been far more beneficial for me in the long run.

Now, I’m learning to accept my body as it is. I know I can't reverse the surgery, but I can present any way I want. I'm trying to see the upside: I had an experience that most people never will, and it's given me a unique perspective. I’m in my thirties now and finally feel like I’m finding my real sense of self. My thoughts on gender now are that it's a lot more flexible than we're led to believe, and that we don't need to change our bodies to fit into a category. I'm just me.

Age Event
13-18 Experienced intense discomfort with puberty and breast development.
19 Started taking testosterone.
21 Underwent top surgery (double mastectomy).
27-28 Stopped testosterone and began the detransition process.
30+ Living as a female, working on self-acceptance and coping with permanent changes like infertility.

Top Comments by /u/whoisgayergay:

8 comments • Posting since December 31, 2023
Reddit user whoisgayergay (Questioning own transgender status) comments that a young person's detransition regret will likely be a minor "blip" and short-term hormone imbalance that their body will recover from.
62 pointsDec 31, 2023
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it will probably be a blip in the long run. You are still young and have plenty of time for your body to change and evolve. You learned quickly and early. I wouldnt worry as I bet over time its gonna be like nothing but a short term hormone imbalance.

Reddit user whoisgayergay (Questioning own transgender status) comments on passing as a woman, explaining that many FTMs look like flat-chested women and discusses fat transfer as a breast reconstruction option.
16 pointsJan 3, 2024
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yeah and generally most ftm just look like woman without chests as plenty of women are flat so dont worry too much. Even plenty of women get facial hair. Appearance isnt gender anyway. There are also good options where they basically take the fat from your unwanted areas and put it up top, but the results are a bit less controlled than something like silicone.

Reddit user whoisgayergay (Questioning own transgender status) explains that testosterone for transition is a steroid regimen unlike the body's natural cycle, leading to baldness and health issues, and argues there is more to life as a female than trying to be a man.
11 pointsJan 3, 2024
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Well all it is is a steroid / not the same as what actual men make and their regulated cycle which is why a majority of trans identifi females end up going bald and having health issues. Besides there is so much more to life in being a female than trying to pretend to be a man.

Reddit user whoisgayergay (Questioning own transgender status) explains that doctors are focused on patient health, not identity, and likely won't judge someone for coming out as detrans.
11 pointsJan 4, 2024
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its often more in our head than theirs. They see so many patients, they probably dont care. Their job is to make sure you are healthy. How you identify is likely not going to matter to them as long as you are healthy. As long as your mental health is stable they will likely just prescribe what you want and thats it, as you're realistically just another patient.

Reddit user whoisgayergay (Questioning own transgender status) comments on a post about being a desister, offering support and perspective on living with surgical changes and finding upsides to a unique experience.
5 pointsJan 11, 2024
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The world i unkind just to people in many ways. Even good looking straight people can be hurting inside. Im trying to be kind to everyone yet its sometimes easier to be unkind especially when we hate ourselves internally. You seem like you've grown and while you can't reverse that surgery, you can present anyway you want. There have been advancements in transplants etc if that is something you desparetly need to fix. You also got an experience most wont ever have, I think there can be plenty of upsides.

Reddit user whoisgayergay (Questioning own transgender status) explains that it's not too late to detransition, citing examples of women who live full lives after hysterectomies and MtF individuals who achieved a feminine appearance, and advises getting off steroids and taking bio-identical hormones.
5 pointsJan 4, 2024
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You are still super young and even in my 30s Im still finding myself, but for real had no sense of self until at least 30. So many women get a hysterectomy and regret it so you are not alone and at the same time they still live happy full lives. I know a very attractive, never trans, woman that went totally bald (medical condition), but still looks like a woman even completely bald. If you get off the steroids, and start taking your biological hormone you will definately see a difference. Look at the many MtF people who started as large 6' 3" bears that ended up very petit and feminine looking. Too far gone? Not at all.

Reddit user whoisgayergay (Questioning own transgender status) comments on post-surgery fat redistribution, advising OP to consult an endocrinologist before considering implants.
4 pointsJan 3, 2024
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not ncessarily. I mean you said keyhole, and besides sometimes fat can come back if you are hormone levels are in check. But again Im some stranger on the internet, best check in with a doctor about this. Talk to an endo / someone who specialises in hormones if you can, see what the options are, and then consider implants if needed. Id exhaust all the noptions before going the quick fix.

Reddit user whoisgayergay (Questioning own transgender status) comments on the ease of mastectomies, suggesting a tattoo will hide scarring and expressing regret that doctors don't suggest other options before surgery.
3 pointsJan 4, 2024
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yeah for sure, it will likely also hide any scaring you may have had but hopefully you didnt need to reduce your nipples etc. Sorry you had to go through this doctors way too easily are ready to remove womens chest vs suggesting other options. Im sure itll look perfect whatever you decide.