This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic actor.
The user's comments demonstrate:
- Personal, nuanced experience with transition and detransition, including specific details about their own social and medical history.
- Internal consistency in their core beliefs about gender and transition over time.
- Complex, multi-faceted arguments that engage with various sub-topics (autism, surgery, social pressure, healthcare) in a way that is typical of a passionate, invested individual.
- Direct engagement with other users, offering tailored advice and asking follow-up questions that show they are reading and processing others' stories.
The user's passion and strong opinions are consistent with the stated experiences of many detransitioners and desisters.
About me
I'm an autistic male who started exploring gender online because I never felt like I fit in. I realized that trying to change my gender didn't make me happier and only created more pressure to conform to stereotypes. I came to understand that I can be a man who dresses or acts however I want, without needing a different label. I'm now in my forties, content and healthy, having avoided any permanent medical procedures. My biggest lesson is that we should challenge society's rigid boxes, not our healthy bodies.
My detransition story
My journey with all this gender stuff started because I never really felt like I understood what "gender" was supposed to be. I think a lot of this comes from being autistic. I've always struggled to connect with people, both men and women, and I never felt like I fit into the typical groups. I got sucked into exploring transgender ideas online and for a while, I thought maybe that was the answer for me. I even leaned into presenting more femininely for a time, but I was always okay with any pronouns people used for me. I'm a biological male and I've always accepted that.
What I realized after going down that path is that it didn't make me happier. In fact, all the focus on passing and gender roles just made me more unhappy. I started to see that gender, for me, is the same as my biological sex. How I dress or act has nothing to do with it. I can wear whatever I want and still be a man. It was a huge relief to realize that I didn't need a label; I could just be a person who doesn't conform to stereotypes.
I have a lot of frustration about the whole transition process. I see so many people, especially young women, who I think are transitioning for the wrong reasons. Things like trauma, autism, internalized misogyny, or just general depression and anxiety aren't solved by taking hormones or getting surgery. I believe that for many, it's a form of escapism. I've seen studies and heard from others that long-term testosterone use in females can lead to serious health problems like heart issues, high blood pressure, and a shorter lifespan. The surgeries, like phalloplasty or vaginoplasty, are makeshift and have massive downsides. They can't replicate the real thing.
I also think there's a social aspect to it. It worries me that masculine women feel they have to become "men" instead of pushing forward the idea of strong, nonconforming women. It feels like we're erasing women rather than celebrating the different ways to be one. I've seen that many females who transition end up being seen as weaker men and can struggle to be taken seriously. It seems like a downgrade from being a powerful woman.
I went through a period where I was influenced by online communities, but I'm grateful that I came out the other side without any permanent medical changes. I was able to keep my marriage, my career, and my health. My own body image improved when I stopped focusing on gender and just worked on being healthy. I worked out and gained muscle while still on my natural estrogen and felt better about myself.
I don't regret exploring it because it led me to my current understanding, but I definitely regret getting so deeply involved in something that ultimately wasn't helpful. My main takeaway is that we need to challenge why we feel the need to change our bodies instead of challenging the rigid boxes society puts us in. We should be able to act and dress however we want without it having anything to do with "gender."
Here is a timeline of my journey based on what I remember:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Late Teens / Early 20s | Struggled with social connection and identity, likely related to being autistic. Began exploring gender identity online. |
| Mid-Late 20s | Identified as non-binary for a period, experimenting with presentation. Leaned into a more feminine presentation. |
| Around 30 | Began to question the need for labels. Realized pronouns and presentation were separate from my biological sex. Stopped identifying as non-binary. |
| Late 30s | Fully accepted that my gender is synonymous with my sex (male). Concluded that my unhappiness was not solved by transition concepts. Focused on health and self-acceptance without medical intervention. |
| 40 | Now content, believing that personal expression is independent of gender and that medical transition is often a harmful solution for deeper issues. |
Top Comments by /u/whyareyouaweirdo:
well they are trans men, different than men. There is no way to replicate the male reproductive parts in the same functonig way and currently only biological males can get an implant because females lack the hook up necessary. Even if someone "passes" doesnt mean they are living the same as an actual man. Our genitalia does make a huge difference.
well of course its going to greatly shorten your life, why is this the wakeup call? So many biological females die at age 50 from this. Synthetic steroids are not the same as biologically made testerone that is regulated on a 24 hour cycle. You're doping like a steroid user. I honestly have not seen many ftm who looked better on T. They usually have worse skin, health issues, and too short and skinny to be taken seriously.
I guaratnee he'd much rather have his old daughter back rather than his masculine presenting daughter he has to call son because he probably feels at this point he has no choice. I guarantee they'd probably be so happy to have the real you back.
What is preventing you from just being the true you instead of this created version of you?
sorry that hapened. have you taken steps llike getting rid of the facial hair? unfrotunately in society people are probably not going to take a lesbian serious as a womn with facial hair. people should accept everyone but having clear masculine features does make it harder. i wish you luck and can find non judgemental people.
I'm not blaming the peoeple who got into this. The problem I think is in how people are coming up with these conclusions. When people end up here going trans not because of body discomfort but a million other things often mysongy, autism, and other metnal issues that can undiagnosed by a terrible medical system and then slapped a bandaid on it by just saying the problem is gender.
ITs like people simplifying it toI grew up liking trucks so I must be a boy. Or stuff like oh I wanna be a femboy but im a girl..
When is this an actual problem vs a lifestyle. When is it a deep seated need vs a tik tok trend? Why do we treat it like its some catchall solution. Just microdose, etc.
I asked thi question because how many could avoid transition if they accpeted girlhood as a thing that has no one way to be a girl, and not liking your body does not mean trans, it means most people find issues with their body, especially during puberty.
yeah I just turned 40 and I dont want that drama and instability in my life. I want friends who go to happy hour on friday, go on vacation to mexico with me or go hiking. Why do I want someone whose whole life is just smoking weed and not really living?
Looking at Autism rates, it is less detected in girls and with the higher percetage of autism spectrum in trans that could be a correlation. Also the surgery options are far worse for masculine presenting females. Its also a lot easier for MtF to live as both genders. Sure there are those that dont pass, but I for example passed as both pretty easily. So I didnt have the pressure to live one way or another.
Ive head the social contagion theory dont know if thats true.
My guess is that peple think its better and easier being a man, but dont realize how lonelier it gets how emotionally cold it can get, etc. THat its not just some easy street or better way to live.
def true. We were making great progress on clothing being more gender neutral to oh wear clothes if you "define" yourself as a woman, to woman is just whoever wants to say they are a woman. So how do you even specify you want a woman woman without being called transphobic? I may not want to date a body builder doesnt mean I am against them. I may only want geeky gamer girls, doesnt mean im against anyone else just not into it. This is how we get T4T, only those people that believe the reality are willing to date that. I notice especially FtM seem to have created a sub lesbian group thats like butch but needs to define themselves as a man, and only dates other FtM, at that point just seems like butch lesbians who have some internal mysogny issues as if being a woman is less than a man (anti feminist)
You can but would you also want to live a lie? I mean what would you have against just being called a woman? Its not like woman is an appearance or a role. I just feel like personally you might be just prolonging reality. Eventually people will see you as a woman especially as you are long enough on estrogen.
it worries me most about the many FtM people who end up in small communities because men dont take them seruioulsy as men as they generally smaller, effeminate and despite passing with facial hair doesnt mean being considered a ":man" just a weaker male.
Like if we look in sports clearly mtf have a huge advantage, even ftm barely any of them have qualified for any pro male sports and even those that did did not perform great. They are usually also disqualified for taking steroids.
I was fine when it was few individuials who seriously were suffering and made a real effort vs the whole Im a man or a woman just cause.