This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments reflect a consistent, personal perspective with nuanced opinions, emotional depth, and a clear personal history (e.g., Body Dysmorphic Disorder, dating experiences) that aligns with a genuine desister's viewpoint. The user expresses frustration and critiques both sides of the gender ideology debate, which is common for individuals in this community.
About me
I felt ugly and undesirable as a girl, so I thought becoming a man would fix everything. I surrounded myself with a community that affirmed this new identity, which became my entire life. At 22, a positive romantic experience made me realize my problem was a distorted self-image from trauma, not my female body. I am so grateful I never medically transitioned and can now see my body for what it is. I'm finally comfortable as a woman after working through my mental health issues.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started because I felt completely undesirable and hideous as a girl. I had a lot of trauma and what I now know is body dysmorphia. I was convinced that if I became a guy, I’d finally be attractive and get the attention I craved. I felt so disconnected from my body, especially during puberty, and I hated my breasts. I thought they were the main thing making me ugly.
For years, my severe gender dysphoria was my entire reality. I was deeply depressed and had very low self-esteem. I surrounded myself with friends who were also trans, and looking back, I think a lot of us were just lost. We were all struggling with our own mental health issues and low self-worth, and we overcompensated by making being trans our entire identity. It felt like a club for people who had never fit in anywhere else.
Everything changed for me when I was 22. A guy I had a crush on, who I thought was way out of my league, actually liked me back. It was a complete shock. For the first time, someone saw me as a desirable woman and it completely flipped a switch in my brain. That lifetime of dysphoria just melted away almost instantly. It made me realize that my problem was never that I was born in the wrong body; it was that I had a distorted view of myself and suffered from deep-seated trauma.
I never took hormones or had any surgeries. I only transitioned socially by changing my name and pronouns. I am so incredibly grateful that I didn't medically transition, because I would have regretted it immensely. I now see my body for what it is: just a body. My feelings were rooted in mental illness, not in being truly trans.
I don't really believe in gender the way I used to. I think a lot of it, especially for young people online, is about finding a community and an identity when you feel you have none. It can be a form of escapism. For me, it was a way to escape from feeling like an ugly, unlovable girl.
I don't regret exploring my gender because it led me to this understanding, but I regret the years I spent trapped in that mindset. I benefited greatly from therapy that wasn't affirming; a therapist who challenged my thinking instead of just agreeing with me is what helped me start to unravel all of this.
Now, I just see myself as a woman who went through a very confusing time. I'm comfortable in my own skin for the first time since I was a kid.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early Puberty | Started hating my breasts and feeling severe discomfort with my body. |
| Teen Years | Socially transitioned, began identifying as male. Severe depression and dysphoria. |
| 22 | A positive romantic experience caused my gender dysphoria to vanish. Realized I had body dysmorphia and trauma. |
| 22 | Stopped identifying as trans and began detransitioning back to living as a woman. |
Top Comments by /u/windshadowislanders:
The type of people who have "transphobes dni" on their carrds are 100% going to find you transphobic. You could probably just breathe wrong near them and they'd get offended. They're also usually minors with no nuance to their opinions yet. Dunno why you'd even wanna bother with them.
My trans friends literally base their entire existence around being trans and I can't stand it.
It's because they don't actually know who they are, either due to mental illness or immaturity. They're overcompensating. They aren't really identifying as the opposite gender, they're over-identifying with a group they want to be a part of because every other group made them feel rejected due to their low self esteem.
You meet a few, you've met them all.
I thought I'd get laid more as a guy because I felt too hideous to ever be desirable as a girl. Turns out I'm pretty decent looking (according to others) and just suffer from BDD, trauma and face blindness lol. I refused to believe it until a good looking guy actually returned my feelings at age 22, and a life time of severe gender dysphoria melted away pretty much instantly.
In my experience, finding a guy who isn't too conservative or a girl who isn't too far left, is a challenge in this day and age, to say the least. It's made dating and even making friends difficult for me. They are certainly out there, but you're not likely to meet them online. IRL you'll have an easier time, as long as you don't live in a hick town or a very liberal city. Stay away from any subcultures that overlap with being terminally online, like nerd stuff or the arts. (And if you're an artsy nerd like me, guess you're just screwed lol)
I can understand it not technically fitting into the sub, but I just don't see how what other people do could be seen as a threat to one's own, entirely separate set of experiences and identity. Tempting a recovering alcoholic with whiskey can put them in danger, but nobody is put in danger by someone figuring out who their true self is. I just don't really see how it's antagonistic at all.