This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic.
There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user. The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally intelligent perspective that is common among genuine detransitioners. The user shares detailed personal experiences with trauma, therapy, and the process of desisting, including complex emotions like regret and self-forgiveness. The language is natural, varies in tone (from supportive to critical), and references specific life events, all of which are difficult for bots to fabricate convincingly. The passion and criticism directed at "the trans cult" align with known viewpoints held by some detransitioners.
About me
I started wanting to be a woman in my late teens, thinking it would fix the deep pain I was in from past trauma. I took hormones in my early twenties, but it only made me hate my body in a new way and I felt a lot of regret. Healing only began when I went to therapy and dealt with my trauma, which made those feelings fade. I realized I was never female and that trying to live as one would have been a betrayal of my true, nonconforming self. I'm now at peace living as a male who doesn't conform to stereotypes, and I'm finally comfortable just being me.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started when I was pretty young, around 17. I was a creative kid who loved expressing myself through fashion, wearing vintage clothes and big sunglasses. I enjoyed playing with gender norms and never really felt like I had to fit into a strict box. But I was also dealing with a lot of heavy stuff underneath, specifically PTSD from child abuse that I was trying to ignore.
When I started to learn about gender ideology online and from some people I knew, it felt like an answer. I began to think that all my discomfort and anxiety would disappear if I were a woman. I thought life would be easier. That feeling, the desire to transition, was ultimately a trauma response for me. I was trying to escape from myself and my past.
I started taking hormones in my early twenties. It didn't bring me the peace I was looking for. Instead, my body issues just changed shape. I went from hating my male body for being male to hating it for not becoming female fast enough or well enough. I felt like I had damaged myself, and the feelings of regret were, and sometimes still are, very tough. Hindsight is painful. I look back at my past actions and how they affected people, and it pulls at my heart.
What really turned things around for me was a lot of therapy. I worked hard to heal from my trauma, and as I did, the intense feelings of needing to be a woman started to resolve. I came to a very clear realization: I am not female, and nothing I could ever do to my body would make me female. Feelings aren't facts. I also realized that forcing myself into a "female" social role would have been incredibly difficult and inauthentic; I was clueless about female social behavior, and it would have been a betrayal of my original, nonconformist self.
A big part of my healing was separating myself from the "trans cult" mindset and from friends who were deeply invested in it. One person even told me that I was "still trans" and that "she's still in there." I had to cut those influences out of my life to have the space to figure out who I really was, without that toxic pressure. It was an extreme step, but it helped me immensely, like when my sister quit drinking and left her drinking friends behind to build a healthier life.
I don't believe in a "gender identity" the way it's often talked about today. If it exists, then everyone has one and they're all different. For me, the idea that I had a female gender identity was a lie I told myself because I was in pain. I've survived all of this and have become comfortable in my body just the way it is. I don't think I did anything wrong back then; I was just going through shit and made some decisions that turned out differently than I expected. I don't have to be an average man or an average woman. I can just be me.
I have regrets about the path I took and the pain I caused, but I've found peace on the other side. I hope anyone reading this who is struggling can be kind to themselves and know that healing is possible.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my memories:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 17 | Started struggling with feelings of wanting to be a girl, influenced by past trauma and online/gender ideology. |
| Early 20s | Started taking hormones. |
| Mid-Late 20s | Underwent extensive therapy, healed from trauma, and realized my desire to transition was a trauma response. Stopped hormones. |
| Late 20s | Detransitioned. Cut off friends with a "trans cult" mindset to fully heal. |
| Present | Have found comfort in my body as a male and live as a gender-nonconforming person. |
Top Comments by /u/workwear82:
Take a deep breath- it's ok. You're alive and they're alive. It's ok. Hindsight is a motherf*cker- I deeply feel for you at this moment, because I've been there and I still feel those deep regret feelings from time to time, more than I'd like. It pulls at my heart when I think about my past and the things I did and how my behavior must have affected people, but as time goes on, the hate isn't there. I hope that helps. Please be kind to yourself- know you're not alone 💚
Yes, there is- me. I survived and I have been able to become very comfortable in my body, just the way it is. I went through a lot of therapy and healed. For me, wanting to transition was ultimately a trauma response. I healed the trauma as best I could, and those feelings resolved, and I was able to see very clearly that I'm not female, and that nothing I could ever do to my body would ever make me female. Feelings aren't facts- you may identify as female, but the rest of the world will identify you as male. That doesn't make the rest of the world wrong or "transphobic". If anything, I think the denial of that reality is where a lot of MTF transexuals get into some pretty narcissistic territory. I'm a bit older than you, so when I was struggling with these things, there wasn't as much of a gender cult to influence my language about these things, so I did have it easier there. It seems to me that your language regarding this situation is very influenced by the gender cult: you used all the gender buzzwords. I don't think there is a "gender identity". If there is such a thing, then every single human being on this planet has one, and we all do it differently. The trans cult likes to make a big thing out of gender identity, but I'm here as living proof that some things change, and heal, and grow. I wish you well on your journey- may you find peace within yourself
I think this is the trans lie sold to people experiencing body dysmorphia- changing your body does not alleviate hating your body. Sometimes it actually makes it much worse. I went from hating my male body for being male to hating my male body for not becoming female fast enough or well enough. Do you have anyone you can talk to about body issues?
I listened to your recording and I think you sound like a normal, average adult female. I do adult education and you sound like a thoughtful, intelligent one as well. I hope that helps. I empathize with your feelings, and hopefully can also reassure you that in your case regarding your voice, they're just feelings, and reflect anything in your voice. Those feelings that you've damaged yourself are very tough- I've definitely been there before. I have faith that you'll find your own special place on the other side of the trans stuff. Please be kind to yourself- and know that your voice is just fine ❤️
Different from the average man, because you're not a man. Different from the average woman, yes, and I think that's ok. And I don't think you have to tell anyone you were wrong, because I don't think you did anything wrong- you just went through some shit. Made some decisions that turned out differently than expected-
Thank you. I was around that age when I was struggling with similar feelings and in hindsight, it's very young. The male brain isn't fully matured at that point. As I got older, my perspective changed. I realized that nothing I could do would actually make me into a woman, and most important, realizing that I was totally clueless when it came to female social behavior, and the reality of trying to force myself into female spaces and social behaviors would be more difficult than any anxiety happening inside me. When I was young, prior to the gender stuff, I was very fashionable, wearing crazy vintage clothes and big sunglasses, long hair etc. I enjoyed playing with gender norms. When the gender ideology started to creep into my thoughts (I had some social influences and PTSD from child abuse that I was stuffing down) and I began to think that everything would somehow be easier if I was a girl, I knew that ultimately forcing myself into either gender box was a betrayal to my original nonconformist self.
I also separated myself from the people in my life who were in that head space (trans cult) or supported it (one told me that I was "still trans, and she's still in there"- seriously, fuck off) and i have never regretted that decision.
I don't want to actively encourage you to dump your friends- those are your decisions to make. I'm just saying that it worked for me. It was extreme but it helped. It gave me space to be myself, whatever the fuck that was, without their toxic trans influence.
Around the same time, my sister decided to quit drinking, and as a result she let go of her drinking friends, who I presume are still at the bar, and my sister has been sober and much happier and healthier.