This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
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Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user.
The comments display a consistent, nuanced, and personal narrative of detransition, including specific details about medical history (4 years on T, surgery in 2015), emotional struggles, and the evolution of their perspective. The language is natural, varies in tone, and shows empathy and support for others, which aligns with a genuine user in this community.
About me
I was born female and my discomfort with my body became intense during puberty. I transitioned in my late teens, taking testosterone for four years and having top surgery, but I later realized my feelings were heavily influenced by undiagnosed OCD. I stopped hormones in my mid-twenties and have worked to accept permanent changes like my deeper voice. I’ve since come to understand myself as a woman with a much broader and more fluid sense of identity. While I have regrets about the path I took, I’m now moving forward, focusing on living authentically without the pressure to fit into a perfect box.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender has been long and complicated, and looking back, I see now that a lot of my feelings were tangled up with other issues I didn't understand at the time. I was born female, and my discomfort really started to hit hard during puberty. I hated the changes, especially developing breasts. It felt like my body was betraying me. I found a lot of community and answers online that pointed me toward the idea that I was transgender. It made a kind of sense at the time; the feeling of being in the wrong body seemed to explain the deep discomfort I felt.
I socially transitioned and started taking testosterone when I was in my late teens. I was on T for about four years. During that time, I also had top surgery in 2015. For a while, it felt like I was on the right path. I felt like I was finally taking control. But less than a year after my surgery, I started having doubts. The feeling that I had made a huge mistake crept in slowly. A big part of my story, which I only figured out later, is that I have OCD. I believe a lot of my intense anxiety and fixation on my body and gender was actually a manifestation of that. I wish that had been explored more deeply with a therapist before I medically transitioned. My gender therapist did eventually bring up OCD, but by then I was years into my transition.
Coming off testosterone was a process. I had some permanent changes, like a bit of hair loss at my temples that hasn't grown back. At first, that was really hard to face, but I've learned to accept it as part of my history. My voice also dropped permanently. I went to some voice training classes to learn how to speak in a higher pitch, which helped, but the biggest help was just learning to tolerate the insecurity. I had to force myself to listen to recordings of my voice and accept that this is me now. I've even found things I like about it.
My feelings about my sexuality also shifted over time. Before transitioning, I was mostly attracted to girls. During my transition, I explored attraction to men a little, but I still felt most connected to lesbians. Now, after detransitioning, I have a girlfriend and feel very gay, but I’ve had to accept that sexuality can be fluid and that’s okay. Trying to pin it down exactly just made me more anxious.
I don't regret my transition in the sense that it's a part of my life that led me to where I am now, and it taught me a lot about myself. But I do have regrets. I regret that my underlying OCD wasn't identified sooner, and I regret that I felt so much pressure, both internal and from the communities I was in, to pursue a medical path. If I had understood that my puberty discomfort and body issues could have been related to OCD or other forms of anxiety, I might have chosen a different path. Detransitioning was scary because I worried people would reject me, but I was lucky to have supportive friends. The fear of being unlovable was intense, but it turned out to be unfounded.
Now, I see gender as something much more fluid and complex than I did before. For me, my detransition isn't about going back to who I was, but moving forward as a more whole person, incorporating all of my experiences. I'm a woman, but my definition of that is broader now. I focus on living my life authentically day by day, without putting so much pressure on myself to fit into a perfect box.
Here is a timeline of the major events:
| Age | Year | Event |
|---|---|---|
| Late Teens | ~2011 | Started socially transitioning and began taking testosterone. |
| ~22 | 2015 | Had top surgery. |
| ~23 | ~2016 | Began having serious doubts and feelings of having made a mistake. |
| ~23-24 | ~2016-2017 | Stopped testosterone after being on it for about 4 years. |
| Mid-20s | 2019 | Actively identifying as detransitioned, attending voice training, and working on self-acceptance. |
Top Comments by /u/xanderbander92:
This article read very vague - "so many" how many? "Growing number" - what number? And how fast? And is there an official statement from the uni about why his research was discontinued? I support getting information about the numbers on detransition but I want to make sure it's done in a scientifically rigorous way.
Hi there - your situation feels similar to mine - i was about 4 years on T and had surgery in 2015; it was less than a year before i had feelings that i may have gone down the wrong path for me. Some of what you say reminds me also of how i found out i had ocd. I cant make a diagnosis, but if you want to talk about your anxieties and feelings and how to cope, my messages are open. I wish you well <3
It's scary when you make a big decision, such as transitioning or detransitioning, because it does change everything in your life, so it's pretty normal to think "Is this the right choice??" There always exists the possibility that you transition again. But just because something's possible, does that mean it's definitely going to happen? Not necessarily. If you transition back, that's fine. If you never transition back, that's also fine. Just find people who will support you no matter who you are.
I took T for about 4 years. There was a point later on when I took an involutary break (because someone accidentally threw away all my supplies), but 4 years is pretty much the amount of time I was actively administering it to myself.
I did have some hair loss as a result of T. The hair at my temples did recede a bit, which felt really awful at first. The hair has not grown back, so I believe that's permanent. But I've had to face that too, and at this point its been not much of an issue. For one thing there are hairstyles you can have which completely mask it and make even me forget it happened. But if I pull my hair back, then I just have to face it like i have to face the other uncomfortable stuff in my life. It sucked at first but now I just see it as a part of myself.
I did not have hair loss at the crown of my head, or if I did, then it was very minimal. I still have ridiculously thick hair, which I've rediscovered is terrible to take care of when its long lol. The hair itself? I dont know if its in better or worse shape, and even if I did track that, I dont know what exactly would have caused it. Too many variables have changed since then for me to say whether going off T changed it or not.
For me, I can't say for certain, but I think if someone explained to me how certain conditions can look like dysphoria, such as discomfort about sexual orientation or gender or body through OCD, I would have found a path that I would have been very willing to go down. That's what I always believed therapist intervention to be for - screening for any other explanations before continuing with transition. Unfortunately, society does not well understand OCD in general, so nobody caught on that what I was experiencing was highly indicative of OCD. I want to spread that knowledge as much possible, to help others in the future.
I like to advocate for people seeing a therapist/psychologist for this reason. I did see a gender therapist, and I dont know how she was trained in recognizing OCD - it wasn't until years in to my transition that she started to bring up the subject with me. OCD can exist alongside being transgender, and the way I told my story, it was probably plausible to her that it didn't play a role in my decision.
I think you should also understand that the possibility exists that your child is trans. But only your child can know that and tell you. If you tell your child that you know better, it will only seem as though you're trying to stifle and smother, even if that's not what you're intending. I was approached as if I didnt know myself better than others did, which only made me resist more. It's paradoxical, but I only started my detransition at a time when nobody doubted that I was transgender.
Oh, and showing photographs of genital surgeries to your child will probably not dissuade them from transition. Most trans men elect not to get phalloplasty or metoidioplasty (the two most common surgery types) simply because it is 1) incredibly expensive, and 2) there is large social support in the trans community for if you elect not to have surgery, so many trans men have still built happy lives for themselves with no bottom surgery.
Yeah I'd say there's legitimacy to it. People change, it's natural. Pre transition, into pretty much only girls. Had some crushes on boys but not like girls. Transition - explored more attractions to men, after growing more comfortable with them. Occasionally thought about having a bf, but most often wanted a gf and related most closely to lesbians/wlw. To be clear, I did nothing romantic with anyone all throughout. No kisses even.
Now, detransition/whatever this period is called, I have a gf, I find myself pretty fuckin gay just about as often as before, but there's some sort of lingering something with men. I don't want a bf, but I'm not repulsed entirely by them. I had to accept the idea that sexuality can change and trying to control it is just gonna make me more anxious/miserable. I don't think of myself as bi, but who knows, that could change. I could also change to be completely unattracted to them ¯_(ツ)_/¯. I think this happens even to people who've never transitioned.
I often feel something like this about my voice, so i can say youre not alone in this. in the aftermath of stopping t I have gone to some voice training classes (which were at a local uni, so afaik they were free), which has helped me at least identify some ways of speaking in order to reach a pitch that I find more pleasing or likable for myself. You have options for changing it again if thats what you want to do, but if any sort of intervention like classes or surgery dont sound like things you want to do, then my advice is
Learn to tolerate your insecurity of your voice. Make recordings and listen back to them, and know that disliking your spoken voice is very common, so your discomfort is normal, and therefore okay to feel. Ive found forcing myself to face things i dont like about my post-transition body has made me understand that my feelings of discomfort are temporary, that what im worried about isnt actually that bad, and life will go on even if i dont reach some standard i think others hold. Ive even come to enjoy things about my voice post T! Its helped me deal with the day to day so much.
As for people not recognizing your gender based on your voice, i know that feeling of frustration too, and so do many others. I just keep using my voice as comfortably as i can, letting people know my very feminine name, and just taking care of business as best as i can, because i know i am who i say i am, and this is the voice currently attached to that name. If someone doesnt recognize that, its not because of a problem with me.
I hope this was helpful and I wish you the best in your journeys!
It's true. the more you tell your story, the easier it gets, but the first time you tell it will feel really difficult. That's because the uncertainty of what people will say or do in reaction is super scary.
I felt that fear – what if people reject me? What if I never have a friend again, because they all reject me after coming out to them about this? What if this one thing in my life prevents me from ever having a friend or lover or caring person in my life again?
but that's catastrophizing – it's true that some people could reject you, but the chances of never finding someone who can look past it, and say "this doesn't affect me and I love you anyway" are really, really slim.
I don't think I did a big formal coming out post on Facebook or anything like that that I can remember, but I was open with people about what i was doing. it was difficult at first and I felt all the same feelings that you did – shame and embarrassment, weirdness. Those feelings subsided, after I saw that people still loved me, cared about me, and still saw me as a friend. I did have one negative reaction from someone, but I found that even in the aftermath of that any of my negative feelings subsided, and I moved on with my life.
I do suggest talking to your therapist about this because they can offer insights into when youre starting to catastrophize like i did, and how to counter thoughts of being "unlovable" when they pop up. I think it would also help if they're aware that they're seeing someone who is detransitioning, so that they can be more aware of what problems people who are detransitioning go through.
I wish you well <3