This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. The user ("yaxxy") demonstrates a consistent, nuanced, and deeply personal perspective that aligns with a desister's experience (someone who considered but did not medically transition). The comments reflect a clear evolution of thought, personal anecdotes about a doctor's appointment, and passionate, often angry, criticism of both transgender activism and gender-critical ideology from a specific, lived viewpoint.
There are no serious red flags suggesting this is a bot or an inauthentic account. The writing is coherent, varied, and emotionally charged in a way that reflects a real person's engagement with a deeply personal and controversial topic.
About me
I started wanting to be a man because I envied the freedom and respect boys got, thinking it would fix my depression. When I mentioned this to my doctor, she immediately offered me testosterone, which shocked me and made me realize how fast things move without real help. I came to understand my desire to transition was really about escaping sexism, not about my body. I tried living as a man online, but it felt like a lie, and I decided I'd rather be a strong woman who breaks stereotypes. Now, I'm glad I never took hormones, and I'm learning to live happily as a female person, just as I am.
My detransition story
My whole journey with gender started from a place of deep discomfort, but not necessarily with my body itself. I think it was more about how the world saw me as a woman. I always wanted to be a boy because I envied the freedom and respect boys seemed to have. I saw their lives as better suited for what I wanted to do. I was desperate for a different life.
I remember going to my doctor for something completely different, a tendonitis issue in my wrist, and I mentioned in the visit notes that I wanted to explore the possibility of being trans. When I brought it up, my doctor immediately offered to write me a prescription for testosterone. I was shocked. I wasn't ready for that at all; I just wanted to talk about it. I told her I needed to think about it, but inside I was panicking. If I hadn't been reading gender-critical perspectives at the time, and if I had been in a more depressed or vulnerable state, I might have just said yes. That scared me, because I have another genetic disorder that reacts badly to hormonal changes, and I could have seriously hurt my body. That experience showed me how fast things can move without any real exploration.
I started to realize that my desire to transition was heavily influenced by misogyny. I hated the stereotypes and the limitations placed on women. I felt like I couldn't be a respected person unless I was a man. I thought transitioning would fix my depression and loneliness, but I came to understand that those issues needed to be addressed on their own. Dysphoria might make you uncomfortable with your body, but it doesn't make you suicidal; there's usually something else going on that needs treatment first.
For a while, I tried socially presenting as male online and in some spaces, but it never felt right. When people called me "he," it felt like a lie because I knew I didn't pass. I'm too short, and I felt like I'd just be seen as a "12-year-old boy forever." I didn't want that. I decided I would rather be a "boss ass woman" who changes what people think a woman can be, than a man who isn't respected.
My thoughts on gender are that it's mostly based on stereotypes. There's no set of "feminine" traits that all women share. We just have female bodies. Everything else—our preferences, our personalities, our clothes—is just us being individuals. A woman doesn't need to wear makeup or dresses. She can have short hair, hate her breasts, love working on cars, and wear sweatshirts every day. She is a woman because she is an adult human female. Being a woman is a pre-existing condition; it can't be changed. I believe what many people call "gender" is just personality and interests, shaped by how society treats us.
I also have strong feelings about the trans movement itself. I think it became very cult-like. Online communities can be dangerous because they convince vulnerable people that all their problems will be solved by transition. I believe we need to be able to criticize the movement, especially when it promotes things that can harm women and girls, like allowing males into female-only spaces. I'm a lesbian, and I believe in protecting those spaces. It's not transphobic to want safety for women. True transphobia is hating someone for wearing a dress; it's not questioning an ideology.
I never took hormones or had any surgery. I am glad I didn't. I don't regret exploring the idea, but I deeply regret that I ever felt I had to change my body to be accepted. I see now that the problem wasn't my body, but a "cancer of society" that told me I was less because I was a woman. My journey was about escaping that, and I found my way out by realizing I could just be me, a woman who doesn't fit the stereotype, and that's more than okay.
Here is a timeline of my journey based on my experiences:
| My Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Late teens | Began feeling intense discomfort with societal expectations of being a woman. Felt envy towards the perceived freedom and respect given to boys and men. |
| 19 | Seriously considered I might be trans. Mentioned this to my GP during an unrelated appointment and was immediately offered a testosterone prescription, which I declined. |
| Around 19-20 | Engaged heavily with online trans communities but also gender-critical ("TERF") spaces. Felt the trans communities were cult-like and harmful. |
| Early 20s | Attempted social transition (using male pronouns/identity online) but it felt dishonest and I stopped. |
| Early 20s | Realized my desire to transition was rooted in internalized misogyny and a desire to escape sexism, not in an innate identity. Decided to detransition/not transition medically. |
| Early 20s | Came to the conclusion that I am a lesbian woman and that my goal is to live authentically as a female person who defies stereotypes, without changing my body. |
Top Comments by /u/yaxxy:
A woman doesn’t need to be feminine to be a woman... dress the way that makes you feel best...
You don’t need to wear makeup,
You don’t need to like cutsie things,
You don’t need to enjoy femmy things...
Being a woman is nothing more than having a female body... all our experiences are different...
Edit: it’s the unfortunate consequence of our society that feminine styles = weak... unfortunately not one person can change that, it’s something and you’ll have to deal with when dressing feminine or looking feminine.
Actually I’d recommend reading about the negative affects of being trans. The negative side of trans, the GC side of trans.
Online pro-trans communities are very cultish in their behavior and it’s best you decide yourself if your trans and not let someone else convince you.
Stay away from online trans communities, they’ll only hurt you if you’re not trans and won’t be the best place for you if you are trans.
Decide for yourself, but understand that just because you like girl things, doesn’t mean you are one.
Sometimes being androgynous in style and interests is good, no need to change what you’ve gotten comfortable with, just become the lumberjill and be the best carver in town, people will respect you for just being you, even when you deviate fat from the norm.
Girls can be powerful to.
Hey,
Of course you feel like you want to end it all. The things you have read and heard about how “only pretty girls and boys make it” is all over the place. Of course someone who can’t meet those expectations will feel that way.
I’m not here to tell u to find a counselor or shrink. I’m not here to tell you “don’t do it” “there are people who love you” I don’t know you entire situation.
I’m not going to tell you “it gets better” or “same”
I’m going to tell you that the process to overcoming this is tough... it takes a lot of work, not skill.. just work. It might be tedious and seem pointless.
There are small things though that might improve your situation... I won’t say these will be the solution, but they might improve it.
Go to a hair salon/ barber shop/ place that does hair. Ask them what hair style will work best for you.. if possible get that cut, a good place to go for these things is an academy, they’re cheaper and the students there are very eager for that type of work.
rearrange your (bed)room. Make it a huge change. Buy a new desk or paint a wall a different color. Do something that changes your environment. Do something that, when you look up from thinking about the way your life is going, you see something completely different and new.
quit porn. Completely, porn is an addiction... work at it like and addiction, quit it the same way people quit smoking... cold turkey. Quit it because biologically and naturally our brains will always try to compare ourself to what’s shown... but those are painted actors, those aren’t the way real people are.
But now what, you have a new room, a new haircut and don’t watch porn. The next steps should come intuitively, many people do many different things at that point.. but just get there. Maybe life will improve, maybe not. But you’ll have a haircut that looks great on you and you’re no longer spending time on porn. That is already a situationally great improvement.
I’m not very chatty, or good at being empathetic or listening. But if you ever want someone to give you an idea, on what could I do next. I can provide that.
No, absolutely not.
Not being suicidal should be a requirement, someone so mentally unstable to the point they want to attempt suicide should be treated for that first.
Dysphoria doesn’t make you suicidal, it makes you uncomfortable with your body. If you’re suicidal due to dysphoria then there’s something else there to.
That needs to be treated first, maybe that problem is actually causing the dysphoria and you’re not actually trans.
You don’t need to change your appearance to be you. A girl doesn’t have to wear dresses to be a girl.
You can wear pants
You don’t need makeup
You can be in a stem field
You can do and wear anything and still be a girl.
Decide that you are the woman who wears pants, no makeup, looks like a dude and works in tech, they exist.
I’d you don’t like being called lady, then don’t look like one, and stop caring about being called one
You’re feeling anxiety now that you’re taking hormones right?
You feel unsure?
I think the best option is to wait some more, taking T is absolutely terrifying, maybe it’s not time yet...
They say all pour problems will be erased and fixed once you start T but I don’t Know, what you described was, you’re not sure.
Imagine that instead of T you’re getting a full face tattoo..
The artist has just started inking in the lightest most inconspicuous parts. And you’re feeling the same things...
You can always go back and start T again... Listen to your gut though, it might not be time yet
I’m glad I was mentally okay enough and had seen enough gender critical thugs to say roach hold on a sec when I mentioned a transition up my GP and she immediately suggested Hormones.
Heck it wasn’t even what the visit was about, I’d gone because my wrist had tendinitis and towards the end mentioned I might be trans and she immediately said “well I can write you a prescription”
If I hadn’t been reading gender critical stuff, I’d I was depressed or in A bad state of mind, if my friends where the woke type... of have seriously hurt my body. I could have seriously caused complications with another genetic disorder I have that reacts very strongly to hormonal changes...
This isn’t okay
I don’t have much advice but I will say, it’s okay to be a woman without boobs, it’s okay to have a deep voice, it’s okay to dress in pants and sweatshirt, it’s okay to have short hair and like drills instead of frills, you don’t have to pretend being a woman to be one...
I think that rule is important and should stay and be enforced as is. The trans community in other subs have shown that given an inch they will take a mile.
A strict rule like “no promoting hormone talk” is important for keeping people safe since if they(a not trans person who thinks they are) come here for “don’t do it” advice and get “do it” advice they might do it.