This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the provided comments, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.
The user's narrative is complex, nuanced, and emotionally consistent with someone navigating detransition/desistance. Details like fluctuating feelings about their body, specific medical experiences (dilating, hormone regimen), and personal reflections on identity over time are not typical of a scripted bot. The passion and confusion expressed align with the genuine emotional landscape of this experience.
About me
I was born male but never felt I fit in as a man, so I transitioned in my early twenties and had surgery. I chased an ideal of female perfection I could never achieve, which was exhausting. After surgery, I realized some changes were more of a practical hassle than a solution. I’ve now found liberation in just being myself, mixing men's clothing back into my wardrobe and existing in the middle. I’m finally letting go of the need to fit into any box and am starting to feel better about who I am.
My detransition story
My whole journey with transition and now detransition has been complicated and confusing, and I'm still figuring it out. It started in my early twenties. I was born male, but I never felt like I fit in as a man. I think a lot of it was tied to low self-esteem and this feeling that I could never live up to what a man was supposed to be. I'm gay, and I think there was some internalized homophobia there too, a feeling that being a feminine gay man wasn't enough or was something to escape from.
I transitioned socially and medically. I took hormones and eventually got gender reassignment surgery (GRS). For a long time, I really believed this was the answer. I wanted to be a woman, but the problem was, I wanted to be a cis woman. I realized my brain was chasing an idea of female perfection that I was never going to achieve, and it made me feel like I was constantly failing. It was exhausting.
After my surgery, some things felt better. I liked the silhouette of my body more without male features. But other things became a practical hassle. Dilating my neovagina feels like a chore; I only do it about twice a month now. I’ve come to realize it’s less practical than having my original anatomy. The longer I've been post-op, the more I feel foolish about my earlier, more idealistic comments regarding surgery results.
A confusing part has been my chest. I had top surgery to remove breast tissue, but in the last year, they've started growing back a little. Sometimes I don't hate them, but I also felt more comfortable when I was completely flat-chested. It’s a constant back-and-forth in my head.
Lately, I’ve started to integrate men's clothing back into my wardrobe and stop caring so much about how I’m perceived. It has been the most liberating feeling in the world. I realize now that I’ve only ever wanted to be an androgyne, someone who exists in the middle. I’m thankful I transitioned early before more masculinization happened, but I also have regrets about the permanence of some changes.
I’m now just taking estrogen a couple of times a week to stay healthy. The idea of taking testosterone sounds terrifying to me. I’m comfortable with my long hair—it’s something I’m super confident about—and I know most people still see me as a woman or use neutral pronouns for me, and I’m genuinely okay with anything.
At my core, I think I'm just a gay boy who lived as a woman for a while. It’s confusing to navigate in a world that wants things to be simple. My journey has been about escapism from who I was, but I’m finally starting to feel better about myself by letting go of that need to perfectly fit into any box.
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| Early 20s | Started taking estrogen and began social transition. |
| 25 | Underwent gender reassignment surgery (GRS). |
| 26 | Noticed breast tissue beginning to regrow. |
| 27 | Began integrating men's clothing back into wardrobe and reducing focus on presentation. Currently taking low-dose estrogen for health and no longer pursuing a female identity. |
Top Comments by /u/yaykat:
Starting to integrate menswear again and stop caring about how I’m perceived, has been the most liberating feeling in the world.
Even though I’m post op GRS and will forever exist in a more ambiguous world, I realize I’ve really only ever wanted to be an androgyne. I am thankful to an extent I transitioned early in my 20s before masculinization really starts to take hold.
I just feel better about myself than continually feeling like I’m failing to live up to this female perfection I can never achieve. The way my brain works is I wanted to be a cis woman, not a trans woman and that is not a winning recipe.
In addition, as a person with larger feet, being able to go into a store again and being able to always have your size available without having to order online from a very limited selection is the best feeling ever. I went and treated myself to these super cute Gucci mules because I just love how classy and gender neutral they are (although way more than I’ve ever spent on shoes before, but it was a treat to myself for making this change). The rest of the look is from Zara.
I still want to keep my hair long as it’s one thing I’m super confident about and I recognize a lot of people will still see me as a “woman”, but starting T sounds terrifying to me and at this time I feel better just taking E a couple times a week to stay healthy.
This has been a healing road.
I have similar feelings/results as you.
Like yeah, I like the silhouette of my body more, but I realize my neovag is less practicle than when I had a dick. Dilating (altho I only do like twice a month) feels like a chore.
It just kind of is what it is. The longer I've been transitioned, the more foolish I feel about my earlier comments regarding neovaginas.
Tysm for this kind response.
I think I just feel in a rut. I know I can look like a woman a still be a boy, but I just feel over it I guess (but as you mentioned I think it could also just being tired of being seen as a woman* rather than a feminine boy which was more rough tbh)
I agree with this whole heartedly. I really like the silhouette of my figure post-op; however, my breasts have recently started growing again this last year and I felt more comfortable when I was more flat chested....but sometimes I don’t hate them? It’s so confusing.
I agree I feel like I’m gay boy who lives as a woman but sometimes I feel like I want to go back slightly, but then I also consider if I ever chopped off my hair I’d probably cry, lol.
Oy...so confusing trying to navigate this in a world full of such simple people
I read you story and resonate with so many of your words (albeit from a different perspective). The ego death is beautiful, but I’m also struggling with the same in trying to find out who I even am. I still like pink a lot tho, somethings never change. ;)
Tysm for your kindness and wisdom. You’re probably right and I’m just having to accept my body changing. I love women so much tbh (platonically), and i think a part of me feels motivated of separating myself from being perceived as endorsing sexist behavior. You know?
You’re sweet! I did model a little when I first transitioned, but not much since then.
I’m gay (only date men), but have been off the market the last three years or so working on myself. May try to put my foot out there to see what happens, but life has been quite good single.
Pretty much everyone still addresses me as a woman or they use neutral pronouns, I’m good with anything tbh. :)