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Reddit user /u/yonicwounds's Detransition Story

Transitioned: 18 -> Detransitioned: 21
female
low self-esteem
hated breasts
took hormones
regrets transitioning
escapism
depression
influenced online
puberty discomfort
started as non-binary
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or inauthentic.

The user demonstrates:

  • A consistent, nuanced, and personal perspective on detransition.
  • Empathy and engagement with others' specific situations.
  • A clear writing style that reflects passionate, lived-experience opinions common in this community.

About me

I started as a depressed young woman who felt betrayed by my developing body and thought becoming a man was the answer. I took testosterone for a year and a half, but the changes just gave me a new kind of dysphoria instead of happiness. I realized my desire to transition was an escape from my real mental health struggles. Now, I'm working on accepting my female body and treating my underlying depression. I've learned that true peace comes from within, not from changing yourself to fit a stereotype.

My detransition story

My whole journey with transition started because I felt deeply uncomfortable with my body, especially during puberty. I was born female and when I developed breasts, I really hated them. I felt like my body was betraying me and I just didn't see myself in the mirror. I was also struggling with a lot of other things at the time, like depression and really low self-esteem. I felt isolated and like I didn't fit in anywhere.

I spent a lot of time online and that's where I found communities that seemed to have the answers. I started identifying as non-binary first, but that quickly shifted to me believing I was a trans man. It felt like a solution to all my problems. I thought if I could just change my body to look male, then all the mental anguish would go away. So I started taking testosterone.

I was on T for about a year and a half. The changes happened, my voice dropped and I grew more body hair, but instead of making me happy, it started to make me feel even more dysphoric, just in a different way. I realized I was trading one set of discomforts for another. My voice, for example, lightened a bit after I stopped T. It's still a deep pitch, but strangers don't gender me as male anymore; they hear a deep female voice. It was a clear sign to me that I had made a mistake.

Looking back, I see now that my desire to transition was a form of escapism. I was so depressed and my life felt so shitty that I thought becoming a different person entirely was the only way out. I was trying to radically change my life and my body because I couldn't face my actual mental health issues. The dysphoria wasn't some innate truth; it was a symptom of my poor mental health. When I started to work on my depression and isolation, the feelings of dysphoria began to lessen.

I don't think I was ever really a man. I think I was a very unhappy woman who was sold a promise that medical transition would fix everything. It didn't. It just gave me new problems. I have regrets about taking testosterone, but I'm trying to move forward and focus on accepting the body I have. Everyone has the capability to be happy in the body they were born with; we're not cursed to be miserable.

My thoughts on gender now are that we put way too much pressure on people to conform to stereotypes. The idea that you have to either live as an imitation of a woman or embody a stereotypical "chad" personality is a false choice. You can just be. You can be a feminine man or a masculine woman, or anything in between, without needing to change your body with hormones and surgery. Improving your underlying mental health is the real key to finding peace.

Here is a timeline of my transition and detransition events:

Age Event
14 Started puberty, began to intensely hate developing breasts.
17 Felt isolated and depressed, discovered trans identities online.
18 Initially identified as non-binary, then as a trans man.
19 Started taking testosterone (T).
20.5 Stopped taking testosterone after 1.5 years due to increasing dysphoria over the changes.
21 Began the process of detransition, focusing on improving my mental health.

Top Comments by /u/yonicwounds:

6 comments • Posting since April 18, 2024
Reddit user yonicwounds (detrans female) explains how isolation and poor mental health can fuel gender dysphoria, arguing it is a mental illness that shifts focus and is best treated by improving one's life, not by retransitioning.
29 pointsApr 24, 2024
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Do you think that the fact that your dysphoria hasn’t gone away may have to do with your life being shitty? Especially your isolation? I sure know my depression and isolation and weight gain was the fuel to daydreaming about being a man/“feeling like a man” (there is no man feeling). The fact that you can’t change your entire body will get to you. Your dysphoria moves it’s focus from one thing to another. Dysphoria is a mental illness and ignoring it doesn’t make it do away. Improving your mental health the same away you would with depression is your best bet.

Reddit user yonicwounds (detrans female) explains why severe depression, loneliness, and a poor body image can make retransition feel like the only option, arguing these underlying issues must be addressed first.
22 pointsApr 24, 2024
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My point is that you can’t say there is no other option when

  • you are still depressed
  • you feel lonely and in the margins of society
  • you have a bad relationship with your body and food

You know you have read multiple stories of people getting less/no dysphoria when they grow up and live gets better. You know of multiple cases where dysphoria was clearly a desire to radically change your life and body.

Reddit user yonicwounds (detrans female) sarcastically critiques the double standard of accepting harmful beauty practices for cis women while dismissing concerns about gender-affirming care.
19 pointsJun 5, 2024
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Putting your health in risk because of beauty standards is no problem. Contributing to anxiety and eating disorders isn't bad. Low self esteem from 9 year olds who think they need to wear makeup to be pretty is just evidence of their gender. This is all innate and unchangeable. There is a half of humanity who chronically stresses about growing body hair and that's just a natural way of being a human being. So just be kind and stop mentioning that transphobic rape accusation!!!! #twaw

Reddit user yonicwounds (detrans female) comments on the pressures of masculinity, questioning if the only options are being a trans woman or a "chad," and suggests finding a different job.
8 pointsApr 19, 2024
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If you want to live to work, that's your choice. But i find it weird that you feel workplace stress as a feminine man, but not as a trans woman. don't you think people pity trans women, especially the ones who think they pass? Inclusive, by the people who go out of their way to validate them? Is there only 2 options? Live as a imitation of a woman or embody the stereotypical chad personality? Can't you just be? Can't you choose a different job?

Reddit user yonicwounds (detrans female) explains that dysphoria over testosterone's changes is a sign to detransition, asserting that everyone can find happiness in their natural body without medical intervention.
7 pointsMay 16, 2024
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Feeling dysphoric over the changes that t causes is definitely a sign you should detransition. Everyone has the capability to be happy in the body they have. You were not born cursed to be miserable and dependent of medical interventions to imitate the other sex

Reddit user yonicwounds (detrans female) explains how her voice lightened significantly after stopping testosterone, resulting in a deep female voice that is no longer gendered male by strangers.
3 pointsApr 18, 2024
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My voice lightened significantly. I was on t for a year and a half. My pitch is still male, according the trans voice apps. But i can hear the difference in my tone. Strangers no longer gender me male and had multiple people tell me i sound female. It's just a deep female.