This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious
Based on the comments provided, the account appears authentic. There are no serious red flags indicating it is a bot or a bad-faith actor.
The user's posts show a consistent, nuanced, and emotionally complex narrative of someone questioning their transition, exploring detransition, and grappling with underlying issues like OCD, trauma, and spirituality. The internal conflicts, personal anecdotes, and evolving perspective over many months are characteristic of a genuine lived experience, not a manufactured one. The passion and criticism align with the expected viewpoints of someone who feels harmed by their transition.
About me
I'm a gay man who transitioned because I never felt good enough in my own skin and was influenced by online communities. I took hormones for over four years, thinking it was my spiritual path, but it only made me feel more disconnected from myself. I now realize my real issues were internalized self-hatred, body dysmorphia, and a need to escape from being a man. I am slowly detransitioning now and learning to practice radical self-acceptance instead of chasing an identity. My goal is to just be me, embracing all parts of myself without labels.
My detransition story
My journey with transition and detransition has been a long and complicated one, and I'm still figuring a lot of it out. I think the core of it all was that I never felt good enough as myself. I'm a gay man, and I've known that since I was a kid, but I had a lot of self-hatred and poor self-image. I didn't like how I looked as a guy, and I thought ageing would make it worse. I also had a lot of mental health struggles, including depression and anxiety that I managed to overcome by changing my self-talk, but there was a deeper unhappiness I didn't address.
I started to believe that I should have been born a girl. This feeling felt spiritually significant to me at the time, like it was a path I was meant to follow. Looking back, I think a lot of this was influenced by being online. I grew up with the internet, and I got caught in an echo chamber where the message was that men are bad, but if you transition, you're a woman and therefore better. I absorbed that subconsciously. It was also a way to escape. My transition felt like an addiction, a constant obsession with my identity and how I looked. I now see I was struggling with body dysmorphia, not gender dysphoria. If I had liked how I looked as a man, I don't think I would have transitioned.
A big part of it was also related to a past relationship. I dated a guy who was totally in love with me when I was a feminine-presenting gay man. When we broke up, I felt this sudden need to transition. I've wondered if I was trying to recreate a dynamic where I could be with a man who saw me as a woman, because that's what my ex had experienced before me.
I took hormones for over four years. They softened my skin a little, but I never really looked like a woman. I still had a male body shape and facial hair. Passing required a huge amount of effort with makeup and clothing, which is more about social expression than medicine. I even tried a testosterone blocker for a month, but it made me feel like I was dying, and the clinic couldn't give me a good reason to continue since I didn't have genital dysphoria. That was a wake-up call.
The turning point came when I realised how disconnected I felt from myself, especially spiritually. Before transition, I had a natural, easy spirituality. During transition, that faded away. I was so focused on building a new "self" – first as a trans woman, and then, when I started questioning, as a "detransitioner" – that I lost touch with who I actually am. I was always creating a new identity instead of just being. Reading Carl Jung and exploring my Christian faith alongside other spiritual practices helped me see that the most important transformations happen inside.
I also recognised I have problems with rumination and obsessive thinking about identity. I learned this is common among people who transition. I had to work on stopping the compulsive need to analyse everything. Quitting porn and reducing my social media use was a big part of this, as I was addicted to the dopamine rush from those things, and transition was part of that cycle.
I don't regret transitioning because it led me to where I am now, but I see it was a misguided solution to my real problems: trauma, low self-esteem, and internalised issues about being a gay man. I'm slowly detransitioning now, easing off the hormones and learning to just be me. I wear what I want, whether it's seen as masculine or feminine, without feeling the need to fit a specific look. My goal is radical self-acceptance. Gender isn't a personality; it's just one small part of a person. I'm learning to embrace all parts of myself.
Here is a timeline of the main events:
| Age | Event |
|---|---|
| 4-5 | First realised I was attracted to men after seeing a gay storyline on TV. |
| 7 | Imitated a camp voice from TV, but was told off by my parents. |
| Teen Years | Dated a man as a feminine gay guy ("twink") who occasionally wore makeup. |
| 19 | Relationship ended; felt a strong urge/necessity to transition. Began identifying as a woman and started social transition. |
| 19-23 | Took estrogen hormones for over 4 years. |
| 23 | Tried testosterone blockers for one month; felt terrible and stopped. |
| 23 | Began seriously questioning my transition after finding online detrans communities and reading psychology (Carl Jung). Realised my issues were more related to body dysmorphia and OCD-like rumination. |
| 24 | Started the process of detransition, beginning to ease off hormones and focus on self-acceptance. |
| Present (24) | Actively detransitioning and working on core issues like self-image and spirituality. |
Top Comments by /u/your_transgirl_dream:
I respect your view so much, you're so right trans women and mtftm people need to understand and lidten to cis women. I thought I was a fierce feminist icon whilst transitioning but unless a woman was a liberal/lgbtq feminist I would actually put her down in my mind. I think that's a trap many trans women are in
Doesn't matter. The loudest 5% might be.. the loudest, but the quieter 70% agree with us.
You can't kill an idea, and we've put so much of value into the collective conscious
We are detrans, we desisted, we detransitioned. They can't take that from us, those words and our experiences show strength even without this sub.
whenever someone brings up cis people getting surgery without a therapist's support as a 'defense' of their desire for open access to medicine designed to alleviate dysphoria i'm like... yeah i actually think the amount of surgery and so called ' cosmetics enhancements' young people are feeling the need to get is worrying, even when they're not trans. but nobody wants to talk about the effects of social media, peer-attachment and filters
I think my problem is when they say "a woman is anyone who identifies as a woman" - when defining a word you can't use the word itself. E.g. you couldn't define a dog as "an animal that is a dog" or a rose as "a flower that is a rose"
It's strange seeing smart, intellectual, capable people fail to understand how definitions work
There is no noun that is described using itself as a descriptor, because that would require the word itself to have meaning.
For example, a woman: an adult female human being.
Look at each of the words describing it, they individually have their own definition. You can break down each part of the definition.
The problem with a definition like a woman: anyone who identifies as a woman.
Is that it breaks literary rules that make up the language. Rules are made to be broken, sure, but the point of etymology can be partly found in the definition of the word, word, itself:
A single distinct meaningful element of speech or writing
You can argue against that, that a word doesn't need to be distinct and meaningful, therefore it's definition can be paradoxical. The issue then is that you're not just arguing to change the meaning of the word woman, but of the word word.
It's seen as controversial to question the internet/social media/social movement impact on transition (even here by a couple of people) but I definitely relate to so much within this post.
I am literally a successful entrepreneur yet had such cognitive dissonance and somehow bought into one of those huge echo chambers you mentioned, except rather than a Jordan Peterson-esque lie it was a radical left lie I was so blind to as I didn't watch or listen to any one individual so subconsciously went along with the 'flow of opinions' within the echo chamber towards the lie that men are bad, but when a man decides to transition, without debate from that moment they are a woman, along with subtle messaging that women are smarter, better, etc.
Realising I don't care about politics but people allowed me to disconnect from the echo chamber and a couple of years of dismantling troubled beliefs lead me to question transition.
"Gender is not a personality" - I love that! There are so many valuable things that make us who we are and gender isn't one.
You are spot on. I'd give you an award if I had one! Academy of ideas has many videos on science replacing God that touch on this issue too.
One of the core advantages of religion (or spirituality, depending on your approach) is connection to history, to culture, mythology, your ancestors (which aids meaning) - I think this missing part whether you go down more of a political or science route to transition is what leads many of us here. I have shared how I lost almost all spiritual connections whilst transitioning.
Great point on sterilisation too! Do you think the attempt to instill ideas in children is a way for them to feel they will 'live on' despite largely removing much of their transgenerational influence? I guess it benefits them in the here and now by strengthening their own belief system too.
I fall short of my own aspirations as a religious individual and don't like how I can be distracted by a minor issue when I know the bigger picture is right in front of me, so thank you for your insightful and thought-proving comment!
This seems to happen to a lot of us after 4-7 years. I wouldn't say my dysphoria 100% went away but I had the feeling "I'm fine just being me" - I'd rather experience a small amount of dysphoria whilst tackling the root issues than spend my entire life trying to mould myself into something it's impossible for me to be
Appreciate you mods!
I really don't understand the game of the people who are against our existence and open sharing of ideas. Like, even if we're gone, the fact their arguments are confusing people who spent YEARS or sometimes DECADES transitioning really shows how far they have to go to mainstream acceptance of their map of reality.
Because that's what it is, a map of reality they're not happy with us avoiding... Like a cult.
I transitioned as I thought body dysmorphia, OCD symptomatology & wanting to be a woman were gender dysphoria. With hindsight the core issues were related to unresolved trauma and poor self-image.
I detransitioned because I lost the connection to my self, I didn't feel much spirituality. Quitting meds and being present helped.