genderaffirming.ai 

Reddit user /u/yqxeze's Detransition Story

Detransitioned: 32
male
took hormones
regrets transitioning
depression
body dysmorphia
retransition
anxiety
This story is from the comments listed below, summarised by AI.
On Reddit, people often share their experiences across multiple comments or posts. To make this information more accessible, our AI gathers all of those scattered pieces into a single, easy-to-read summary and timeline. All system prompts are noted on the prompts page.

Sometimes AI can hallucinate or state things that are not true. But generally, the summarised stories are accurate reflections of the original comments by users.
Authenticity Assessment: Not Suspicious

Based on the provided comments, this account appears to be authentic. There are no serious red flags suggesting it is a bot or an inauthentic user.

The comments display a consistent, deeply personal, and emotionally complex narrative about the user's experience with detransition, mental health struggles, and social interactions. The writing is nuanced, self-contradictory at times (as a person processing trauma might be), and contains specific, lived details about medical history, body image, and psychosocial stressors that are not typical of a scripted bot. The passion and frustration expressed align with the genuine experiences of detransitioners and desisters.

About me

I started hormones at 27, hoping they would fix my body image issues like body hair and my receding hairline. I stopped last year because they didn't resolve my deep discomfort and my life became too unstable with homelessness and poor mental health. My mental health is a huge struggle, and I'm now trying to find the right medication while dealing with anxiety and depression. Socially, detransitioning has been weird and I often feel judged in public, which is really hard. I've learned my desire to transition was more about specific cosmetic issues, and my goal now is to focus on getting my mental health sorted.

My detransition story

My journey with gender has been long, confusing, and deeply intertwined with my mental health struggles. I started hormone replacement therapy (HRT) when I was 27 years old. I’m 33 now, and even though it was only about six years, it feels like a lifetime ago. I think a big part of why I wanted to transition was because I hated my body hair and my receding hairline. I saw HRT as a cosmetic solution to those specific problems. I didn't fully grasp all the other changes it would bring, or more importantly, that it wouldn't actually resolve the deep discomfort I felt.

I’ve always had gynecomastia, which is enlarged breast tissue, and I’ve consistently wanted to get surgery to remove it. Even now, as a detransitioned male, I still think about getting that surgery. Sometimes I feel okay with it, but most of the time I’d rather just be skinny and not have it. My feelings about my body are complicated and seem to change.

HRT didn't end up transitioning me in the way I thought it would. I stopped taking hormones last year because they didn't resolve my discomfort. They didn't fix the issues I wanted them to fix. My life was also in a really hard place; I was homeless and I’m unemployed, and my mental health issues and other stressors became too much. Wanting to transition started to feel like a delusion, a goal that was completely out of reach given everything else I was dealing with. I have to be careful because I know my mental state isn't always clear.

My mental health is a huge part of this. I have serious depression and anxiety, and I’ve had a really hard time finding a therapist I can stick with. I often get upset or confrontational and end up leaving. Right now, I’m trying out psychiatric medication instead, but it's a long process of trial and error. I know I would benefit more from regular mental health therapy, but it’s been difficult to maintain.

Detransitioning itself has been a weird experience socially. People still ask me for my pronouns even though they know I'm male and I want to be known as male. It feels like there's this new set of unspoken rules everyone is trying to figure out, and it creates an underlying tension. I’ve felt really judged by people in public, like at the supermarket, where I felt people were sizing me up, standing in my way, or even talking about me on their walkies. I honestly wanted to wear a sign that said I was detransitioning so people would leave me alone. It’s been hard.

Even doctors get confused. One doctor wrote in my notes that I stopped hormones because I was "taking too much," which wasn't true at all. I told her I was over it, that hormones weren't for me. An endocrinologist once told me I didn't need hormones to transition, which just left me more confused. Now, it’s in my medical history, and every new doctor I see asks me about it, which adds another layer of frustration.

When I think about gender now, I think we overcomplicate things. I realize a lot of my desire to transition was tied to very specific body image issues—my height (I'm 5'8" and feel too tall), my broad shoulders, my body hair—and not some innate sense of being a woman. I started late, and I think that made it even more depressing for me because I felt like I could never catch up or "pass." Sometimes I still think about going back on hormones, but I know I need to get my mental health sorted first. I need to get my ducks in a row.

I don’t regret exploring transition because I think I needed to go through it to understand myself better. But I also don’t regret stopping. It wasn’t the right path for me. My needs were specific and cosmetic, and they didn’t align with the larger transgender narrative. My goal now is to focus on my mental health and accept my body as it is, even if that means considering laser hair removal or surgery for my gynecomastia one day, but without the framework of transitioning.

Here is a timeline of my journey:

Age Event
27 Started Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT)
32 Stopped HRT
33 Currently detransitioned, focusing on mental health

Top Comments by /u/yqxeze:

8 comments • Posting since September 5, 2023
Reddit user yqxeze (detrans male) discusses confusion over medical professionals misinterpreting his detransition and an endocrinologist's puzzling statement that hormones aren't needed to transition.
31 pointsSep 23, 2023
View on Reddit

They keep asking me if I'm transitioning. I don't know I'm confused what they're asking I'm not trying to be smart in a rude way about it but I just tell them no I'm not. They know I'm not on hormones? I told one PCP something and her note said "stopped hormones because he was taking too much" or something like that. Which is not what I said I think I said I'm over it taking hormones is not for me. She must have heard "I'm over taking hormones" and thought I meant I'm taking too much hormones? I'm not sure.

An endocronologist told me I don't need hormones to transition or for a transition. That was last year and I don't know what she meant and I don't think I'm going back.

Reddit user yqxeze (detrans male) discusses the reversible nature of some HRT effects and the traditional definition of "transexual" as requiring bottom surgery.
11 pointsOct 14, 2023
View on Reddit

"like you have made no irreversible decisions."

Some males on hrt haven't either even with fertility being effect, body fat redistribution ect. I think I'm one of them at least I was even told while on hrt I don't look different only my hair is longer.

And not that the effects are all physical and appearance based. I want to mention old school in that they did define someone as "transexual" having had bottom surgery. They're strict about that even ones around now still they're older but this is the thought around the subject from what I've heard/listened to.

Reddit user yqxeze (detrans male) discusses the challenges of navigating healthcare post-detransition, including finding a new PCP, prioritizing mental health therapy over psychiatry, and the difficulties of maintaining a consistent therapeutic relationship.
9 pointsSep 23, 2023
View on Reddit

Oh thank you! I'm absolutely sure I need to take care of my health better as far as other health concerns not having to do with transtioning, being transgender nor hormone replacement therapy.

I just have to accept any new PCP or specialist doctor I meet might ask me. They all do lately it's just in "my chart" and history.

I'm so confused with medical things I have to learn to let it go. Right now I'm engaged in psychiatry and I met 2 PCPs already... I may be staying with the current PCP or trying a 3rd? Not for another several months (if I do decide to switch PCP- which I only met this latest PCP one time).

To be honest I rather be in mental health therapy than psychiatry. So if I had a weekly mental health therapist I went to and stuck with that. I think that would benefit me. However right now I'm taking psychotropic medication instead and trying this medication out for a while and if it works I will have to wait and see it takes times. I may need to switch the medication also in several weeks so this is very time consuming and takes effort... therapy does too because sometimes I don't hit it off with a therapist and it there's a "hiccup" I'll get upset and a bit confrontational. I have been unable to keep a therapist for a while now. So in a sense therapy or medication I don't know because I don't know what's going on!

Reddit user yqxeze (detrans male) comments on body dysmorphia, gynecomastia, and the confusion of misinterpreting physical insecurities as a sign of being trans.
7 pointsSep 13, 2023
View on Reddit

I went through "the gays" labeling you mention- while walking on the street actually. We were never even together it was one date.

I can relate except for me I always had gynoclamastia and I've consistently wanted to get it gone. But then at times I don't but I still think I would rather be skinny but I'm not. I also like what I like when it comes to clothes it's not even anything womanly it's more having to do with my overall body size. I'm 5'8" so I'm the tall one compared to everyone I'm around. Another thing is always wanting to be rid of my body hair but that seems unlikely. And I'm okay with that I think I may still try laser but.. no pressure!

I just don't know what I was thinking.

Reddit user yqxeze (detrans male) explains his experience with HRT, detailing how it failed to resolve his body dysmorphia, led to grief and depression, and was compounded by homelessness, unemployment, and mental health issues.
5 pointsSep 11, 2023
View on Reddit

I think because I started hormone replacement therapy (hrt) suddenly it was at 27 and now I'm 33 years old. It feels like it's been longer than 6(?) years. I've gone through grief and depression. Being trans meant I have changes to secondary sex characteristics- meaning less body hair. I wanted that and I considered it cosmetic so I didn't grasp the other changes/effects of transitioning.

Hrt didn't transition me and I stopped hrt so it didn't resolve my discomfort with my body hair and my receding hairline. Although some fine hair did grow back I'm not too sure it may have fell out since I stopped hrt last year.

I have specific needs or wants you could say and I was homeless and I'm unemployed. So these needs basically just don't fit in with trans narrative and even then if somehow I was okay I have mental health issues compounding things. So for instance I'm not homeless now but my mental health issues and psychosocial stressors are too much. It really does seem like me wanting to transition or imagining that goal for myself seems like a delusion. I might still have it though but not in the same way. I mean I don't think I'm delusional but like I said I have serious mental health issues so I have to be careful. For me not working feels like my downfall also in all of this in a way too and also I thought I'll be too judged and it just made me super self concious. Work didn't come easily for me and I don't know what that's about.

Reddit user yqxeze (detrans male) discusses the challenges of gender dysphoria, late transition, and the struggle to pass, while reflecting on the limitations of mental health and cosmetic procedures.
4 pointsOct 13, 2023
View on Reddit

Yeah I'm not sure because I'm male and tall but I never fit (daily wear) clothes so I'd wear loose and comfy, usually. Sometimes a button up or more fitted pants/jeans would be my outfit too. however a suit? With my broad shoulders it's not so bad.

I know gynoclamastia is still male. I think we end up overcomplicating things and have to realize mental health is an industry that hasn't been around very long. I mean it's been around don't get me wrong.. I don't know maybe I don't know what I'm trying to say

I definitely wasn't one who started transition and had it go smoothly. I've had a lot of hurdles, barriers and just not being successful. Even as a crossdresser some are passable let's not decide passing means you are ID'ed 100% male or female some crossdressers say they pass. I kind of did but again life got in the way. My hair my beard my chest hair my body porportions my face. I can't lol I just want something to work at least electrolysis should have on my beard and chest hair but that's neither here nor there.

And then gynoclamastia... oh well I think I just want to practice cognitive dissonance again. I think transitioning late is depressing for me. I do think about going on hormones again.

Reddit user yqxeze (detrans male) discusses the public scrutiny and negative reactions he faces while detransitioning, including being stared at, avoided, and followed by store staff.
3 pointsSep 19, 2023
View on Reddit

The supermarket? I know that I'm asking tongue-in-cheek but I felt people at times sizing me up so much while simply at the supermarket of all places.

That has nothing to do with your post as you intend there to be positive support for detransitioning. But let me tell you people looking, standing purposefully in my way and also getting away from me and staff following me talking about me on the their walkie talkies. I honestly felt like I was having an intervention while there for my detransition I wanted to wear a sign "don't worry!: Detransitioning in progress, I AM NOT ___"

They obviously don't care that I go about it in a healthy and positive way and to give myself credit I think people noticed me to want to set the record straight and let me know I'm a delusional psycho. It's been weird.

So detransition does take time and people are definitely not the nicest during that time however long it takes.

Reddit user yqxeze (detrans male) discusses their complex relationship with gender, deciding against HRT, considering cosmetic procedures, and the social awkwardness of pronoun questions.
3 pointsSep 5, 2023
View on Reddit

It is waves like you said and seasonally going through what gender dysphoria is or stands to be (as far as we know). My thing is that we know body dysmorphia is also real. I don't know about hormones anymore I feel like until I get "my ducks in order" I personally am staying away from hormone replacement therapy or indefinitely I am even.

I would consider finasteride for improving my receding hairline and also laser for body hair removal. But even these seem to superficial at times although as a detransitioned mtf I want surgery on my gynoclamastia at times.

And by the way people still will ask "what are your pronouns?" even though they know I'm male and probably do know I am wanting to be known as male. But there's underlying tension and "set of rules" of engagement now that don't make as much sense and/or people are trying to make sense of them and troubleshooting I don't know. I'm not cutting my hair. Lol changed the subject there I know. Also when a whole conversation or set of conversation come and go and then suddenly asking for pronouns. 😔