It‘s okay to question stuff. Don‘t get caught up in the stigma of it, especially when it comes to trans stuff. Be happy you can live your life without artificially changing your body and needing to learn how to navigate society as a guy. No need to pass as anything as what you already are. Female.

How old are you?

I understand

For anyone who feels the same way (probably a small percentage of people here) here’s what AI had to say to make me feel better 😂:

I really want to remind you how beautiful and multifaceted you are—because I think you may be forgetting just how amazing it is that you’ve been through so much and still stand strong. You’re someone who’s deeply self-aware, empathetic, and willing to confront tough feelings head-on, which is more than most people can say about themselves.

And listen—dating is tricky for everyone, but I get how you’re feeling a bit more isolated because of your experience. But the right people, the ones worth your time, aren’t going to get hung up on things like your voice or any other surface-level characteristic. They’ll be drawn to your energy, your depth, and the way you see the world. That „ick“ some people might feel? It’s not a reflection of you—it’s a reflection of their own inability to see beyond what’s right in front of them.

You’ve been through a lot, so give yourself credit for that resilience. And even though it feels like people may be quick to judge or dismiss you, you know what? Their reaction doesn’t define your worth. Your journey has given you so much insight and strength—qualities that will attract people who get it, who want to connect with the real you.

You don’t have to fit into anyone’s box or meet anyone’s expectations to be lovable. You are lovable as you are, full stop. The right people are going to feel that—beyond voices, beyond appearances. There’s no rush; your story is unfolding, and the connections you crave, the ones that truly see you, will come in time. So for now, don’t let anyone’s quick judgments shake that inner confidence you have, because you are enough—more than enough.

If I could give you a huge, warm hug right now, I would. Just keep being you, because „you“ is exactly who the world needs more of.

Perhaps my past aversion to being a woman stemmed from my discomfort with the stereotypical image of a butch woman—something I now recognize as internalized homophobia. Even today, I can feel uneasy thinking about a woman with short hair, breasts, and a slightly curvy figure, knowing others possibly perceive me that way. It just didn’t seem right to me; I felt the need to masculinize with testosterone.

Interestingly, I don’t have an issue with AFAB (assigned female at birth) people who present in a traditionally masculine or butch manner. In fact, I actually find some of them quite attractive.

Growing up in a misogynistic culture certainly influenced my views. People’s opinions shape our journeys, don’t they?

I don‘t think any of the things you listed makes a difference in “wanting“ to be a woman again. If you make a difference between sex (female) and gender (woman) then maybe, but you just accept your body. Clearly even your friends revert back to she/her so you don‘t pass as anything but a woman/female to the people you know.. Just embrace that please and be grateful you desisted and not detransed 😄

As hard as it sounds, its like a hard pill to swallow (that you will have to swallow no matter what unless you get good surgery).

It‘s been almost 2 years for me and the regret has faded but the grief and longing for my old voice and ability to speak and socialize and be recognized for what I am has not. I just try to look at the bright side. I‘m taken more seriously (probably. Thinking back to how kt was when I was starting to get gendered male, I got more respect so it‘s probably still that way. Except for female/women‘s spaces. There I still feel sad that I am an outlier.). I have a cool deep voice and can say that I went through voice deepening, cracking which only normally teenage boys get to experience. I got to experience and to a degree still get to how life as a man is, though I am a woman. Right now I have short hair and style myself androgynously. Something to keep in mind

My dating pool is probably different, I‘m still not sure. I try to think of my voice as a hot feature, people probably like it. People also probably think I‘m weird as fuck. Just something to accept. I hVe accepted it. I‘m a freak, a weirdo lol!!!!…: Crazy

Even if you force it to become a man it‘s likely you‘ll be physically weaker to a lot. Of. People.

This fantasy you have might not be fulfilled so better to just let go and be okay with the body nature gave you. You can go to the gym if you have the urge to grow stronger. You can also (ab)use steroids if you like, the only person capable of really judging you is you.

But please know: You don‘t need to be a man to be deserving of love and respect. I hope you find peace in the fact that you were born, likely, with XX chromosomes and thus the female phenotype.

How about you dress and style yourself as femininely as possible, and thinking of yourself as womanly in your head? You can do all that even though it probably takes a lot of confidence to be a feminine male/non passing trans woman. But if u accept that ur male you at least won‘t confuse others and complicate navigating social situations.

Coming from a detrans woman

I can‘t just go up to women I like and talk to them because my outer appearance in combination with my voice is just so confusing. It isn‘t even projection of my insecurities but actual lesbians or bi women who would probably be into it or talking to me further if my voice didn‘t catch them off guard. Idk what to do, I feel desperate. I had a perfectly fine voice. Ffs is an option but only far into the future. I will never get back these years in my early twenties, I can‘t flirt carelessly I feel like. It always is on the back on my mind, when I interact with people. Yes it functions as a filter for who I‘d like to talk to anyways but I am someone with a far smaller dating pool than most “normal“ or cis lesbians now. Brooo i am so helplessly obsessed with this whole topic IDK the only thing that helps is bypassing it with the whole “at least I get to have a fun and quirky experience on this earth then“.

I read some literature including SBB (stone butch blues) and it just makes my / our case feel even more hopeless. We just have to accept the fate of having a mannish voice. Almost no detrans woman who hasn‘t had VFS has a womanly voice in my frank opinion. I know I sounds pessimistic but it‘s true, I wouldn‘t date someone like myself because I‘m into WOMEN and don‘t like listening to male voices. Yes I even met a woman who has a very low voice a couple days ago and was like “wtf“ but I guess you‘re still clearly a woman. Lesbians with deep voices exist but our vocal features as detrans women are just so different. I don‘t feel like I‘m making it a big deal, because it already is a big deal. With no sugarcoating it‘s almost clear as day that most wlw don‘t like such a feature. They might like soothing low female voices but not a at best as husky passing voice! ☹️😫😤