We were taught those things, and we were also taught thay photoshop was bad but that Hollywood and other high end corporations and people were supporting it. When phones came out with the ability to take pictures of the people holding them, the anti-photoshop battle lost. The fat is beautiful campaign promoted new body standards for beauty. However, it hurt the anti-objectification movement. Self esteem was about accepting yourself as ugly or average and being okay with it. Now it was about seeing yourself as sexy. Yaoi and yuri anime genres promoted the gay rights movement. At first gay men were pretty and lesbians were ugly. Then men wanted to watch pretty ladies kiss each other in front of them and bisexuality and to a lesser extent, poly triads became popular (the popular girl at my middle school shocked her boyfriend because she left him for her girlfriend...or happened to stay with her while having too many problems with him and the fact that she stayed with her shocked him to tears). The feminism at the time insisted that women should bear swords and that emo boys should wear skirts. This eventually transformed into people wanting to change gender. Then it meant that if you were going to be that gender, you had to man it up or fem it up. You had to be ultra manly or ultra womanly. Thus you had to focus on stereotypes. Then people embraced them.

Or at least that's how I remember it.

It sounds like they're stuck in their clique, and by defending yourself you've taken a step out of it. You are now problematic and their enemy. Your significant other should always take your perspective seriously. Anything other then that is not acceptable. Break up with all of them. It also sounds like you want out of your dorms. Ask to move out into some different dorms, because there's a chance that you're not safe there anymore. You have been bullied for being a detransitioner.

I'm going to make a long post short. When I dressed and acted like a man, I expected people to treat me as a man. I had hoped that by looking like a man I would be more likely to get banks to fund my projects. I was scared of looking like a woman.

Men and women have had heavy look standards for a long time, and a good part of that pressure is with photography and video. When photoshop and plastic surgery happened, tomboys got all pretty. They allowed skirts, they allowed makeup. I still can't believe my mom was shocked that her tomboy didn't want to wear makeup and get earrings.

We were already told by everyone that we fine as we are. But when the models tell you otherwise, you follow the models.

I can't give you any advice other then to suggest that you don't. It's hard to bear with right now, but it sounds like a big portion of your problem is dysphoria. Learn to shed the dysphoria first before you shed your nerves away in a circumcision. The emotions can fade. The nerves will never grow back. Think back to other weird body changes you had during puberty and how you adapted to them.

That really sucks. I don't have much advice for you. I don't know why schools are so keen on failing their students. However if it escalates, your best bet would probably be to push them to make it happen. I hope you find some people that will help you make it through. A therapist, a friend, etc.

It sounds like to me that you miss the feel the T gave you. You might even be addicted to the feel. Whenever I take a medication or even food, I get a different feeling. I was depressed earlier today so I drank some Dr. Pepper to get a sugar high and it did help. I miss how hydrocodone makes me talkative, but that doesn't mean I should take it, especially when I don't need it for pain. If you're looking to be yourself, then that means no mood-changing chemicals included. If you want to exercise, just exercise! If that's not satisfactory, keep in mind that many female body builders have to make a choice between doing steroids or allowing themselves to be weaker then men, physically. You don't need to be as strong as a female orc, so don't try to. If the mood changes from exercising naturally aren't good enough, maybe you should find another hobby. Stop being focused on your body and try to change yourself to be happier and healthier. Try something new and see if you like it. Go garden or swim. Force yourself to watch something that you think is girly and see if you could find things in it you can like to knock down those gender-thoughts you have in your brain. If you want to be happy without an artificial chemical addiction (coughdrugabusercough) then you gotta try to be someone else for a bit to find the new you.