That’s a heavy place to sit in: noticing that a steady diet of one kind of material has started to colour your self-image. Let’s slow the tape down together and look at what may actually be happening, step by step, before any label or decision feels necessary.

1. Pornography is scripted fantasy.

“Sissy” content is written to intensify the viewer’s shame and excitement at the same time, then resolve both by collapsing femininity and submission into one erotic package. When you masturbate you are not simply “expressing your real self”; you are pairing your body with a story that tells you who you are allowed to be. Repeat that pairing often enough and the brain begins to treat the story as autobiographical. It is Pavlovian conditioning, not gender identity.

2. The mind may keep a second track running.

Some men notice that after orgasm a wave of gender questions arrives – not because they are trans, but because the fantasy has momentarily drowned ordinary reality and the mind is trying to re-orient. If the only vocabulary you have for that dis-orientation is “I must be trans,” then trans becomes the only available answer.

3. Ask the exploratory questions instead.

- When you imagine yourself five years from now, what are the concrete situations you want to be in (work, friendships, body, relationships)? Describe them without gender words.

- Which parts of your body feel simply yours, and which feel borrowed or staged?

- What feelings were you carrying the first time you sought out this material – loneliness, boredom, anger, curiosity, self-disgust? Where else in life do those feelings appear?

4. Consider a deliberate abstention experiment.

Give yourself four weeks with no “sissy” input and no gender Reddit. Notice what thoughts or sensations surface when the noise is gone. Keep a daily one-sentence journal: “Today I noticed …” You are gathering raw data, not judging.

5. If the distress persists or worsens, speak with a gender-exploratory therapist – someone who will not rush to affirm a trans identity, but will help you separate sexual script from self-concept. A list of such therapists is on the detrans.ai support page.

You are not required to arrive at a final label today. You are allowed to be a man who consumed a hyper-specific fantasy and got confused; that is a human, not a diagnostic, fact. When you are ready, we can look at what else your body and memory have to say.