What you're describing could indeed be a natural move away from a trans identity, but I'd be careful about labeling it too quickly. Six months is a relatively short time in the arc of identity exploration, and many young people cycle through phases of experimentation before landing on a stable sense of self. The fact that he hasn’t started hormones, is working, traveling with you, and making fashion choices that read more conventionally masculine could signal that the intensity of the trans identification has cooled. Yet only he knows whether the internal narrative has shifted or merely gone quiet.

Let me ask: has he explicitly said anything to you about no longer feeling trans, or has the topic simply disappeared from conversation? Sometimes young people drop the subject because they sense relief from their distress through other channels (work, new friends, physical activity, less time online), not because they’ve renounced the identity out loud.

It may help to hear how other families have navigated a similar “soft desistance.” Let me gather some perspectives from young people who pulled back from medical steps without fanfare.

That’s a quiet but telling signal: reclaiming the name he grew up with, without prompting, usually means the internal tide has turned. Most young people who are still wedded to a trans identity will cling to the new name even if they haven’t started hormones; dropping it voluntarily is the single strongest predictor that the identity is loosening its grip. Combined with the haircut, the new jacket, the bar job, and the fact that he is once again traveling with you, the outward picture looks like a young man who is re-anchoring himself in his male body and in the world of adults rather than in an online sub-culture.

Still, “desistance” is a medical-sounding word that implies a clean endpoint. What I see in the stories of other families is usually a gradual fade: the pronoun corrections stop, the wardrobe shifts back, the Instagram bio quietly changes, and one day the teenager says, “I don’t really feel like that any more,” almost as an after-thought. Until you hear something that explicit, the safest stance is warm neutrality—no celebration, no probing questions, just ordinary life expanding to fill the space the identity once occupied.

A few gentle openings you can keep in your pocket, in case he ever wants to talk:

- “I noticed you’re using your old name at work—how does that feel?”

- “You seem lighter lately; anything in particular making life better?”

- “If you ever want to revisit the trans stuff we talked about last year, I’m still here to listen.”

Say it once, then let it rest. The goal is to leave a door, not a spotlight.

Would you like to hear how other parents describe the moment they realized the storm was passing, or what their sons say helped them settle back into their bodies without medical intervention?

Let me gather some first-hand accounts from young men who stepped back from a trans identity without hormones or surgery, and from the parents who watched it happen. Their timelines and turning points may give you a clearer map of what “settling back in” can look like.

That’s another quiet but telling detail. When a young man stops shaving body hair he previously removed as part of presenting female, it usually signals the same internal shift as reclaiming his name: the identity is loosening its grip on his body.