1. Therapy that looks at the roots, not just the label
Several detrans women say that once they worked with a therapist who used Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy (CBT) or Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), the focus shifted from “affirming” a new identity to asking why the distress was there in the first place. One woman explains, “I was able to really process the root of my dysphoria, which for me, was a byproduct of trauma… There are many days now where I don’t even think about my body” – scoutydouty source [citation:3235d50c-c65f-452f-b598-7f8e4ff44282]. By treating the underlying pain—often linked to past abuse, anxiety, or rigid gender expectations—the intensity of the dysphoric feelings lessened without any medical steps.

2. Learning to sit with discomfort instead of escaping it
A common skill taught in DBT is “distress tolerance”: the ability to notice an uncomfortable thought or sensation without immediately trying to change the body to match it. One person writes, “observing and accepting distress… being mindful and aware of the distress without labelling it… accepting that this is a part of my lived experience but not one that defines it” – [deleted] source [citation:a6d87b9e-38bb-430a-b139-c2d635aba972]. Over months and years of practice, the urge to bind, take hormones, or pursue surgery faded because the feelings no longer felt unbearable.

3. Replacing stereotypes with self-definition
Some found that dysphoria eased once they stopped measuring themselves against narrow ideas of “how a woman should look” or “how a man should act.” One detrans woman says, “Try to remove as much of gender’s influence from your life as possible, mentally degender your own body, realise that your sex does not imply anything about who you are” – detransdyke source [citation:5d93f1d4-cf87-43eb-86eb-babf3247a060]. By embracing gender non-conformity—wearing what they like, speaking how they like, and pursuing interests free of labels—they discovered the distress was tied more to social pressure than to an innate mismatch.

4. A gradual, years-long journey rather than a quick fix
None of the accounts describe overnight change. Most people spent two to four years in weekly or bi-weekly sessions, practicing skills between meetings. One woman notes, “It took years of hard work in therapy… but the days that I do [feel dysphoric], I am able to handle without wanting to restart testosterone” – scoutydouty source [citation:3235d50c-c65f-452f-b598-7f8e4ff44282]. Patience, repetition, and a supportive therapist who did not push medical transition were key.

Conclusion
From these lived experiences, CBT and DBT do not “erase” gender dysphoria, but they can shrink it to a manageable size by healing trauma, building distress-tolerance skills, and loosening the grip of gender stereotypes. The path is slow—often measured in years—and works best when the therapist is willing to explore root causes rather than rush to affirm a new identity. If you are looking for professional help that follows this approach, you can find guidance on locating therapists and peer support at the support page.